* * * * * The scary cuisine of Japan > From: Mark Grosberg > To: sean@conman.org > Subject: Japanese food > Date: Thu, 28 Feb 2013 09:39:40 -0500 (EST) > > Hey Sean, > > I know you've never liked Japanese food because it's out there. But I > recently stumbled upon a Japanese cooking show on YouTube. Search for > username runnyrunny999. He tries to dispell the myth about Japanese food. > His food is cooked and some of it looks good although I suspect if you try > any of his recipes you'll have to find an Asian market for some of the > ingridients. > > The show is also funny. It's probably worth your time checking out a few > episodes. > > -MYG > It's been twenty years, but the experience I had of a “traditional Japanese lunch” is still seared into my brain. I was invited along by the Japanese Language Department at FAU (Florida Atlantic University) [1] (I was friends with about half the department, which wasn't hard considering it consisted of about six people) to attend “lunch” at a nearby Japanese restaurant. Now, I've always been a bit leary of Japanese food because of sushi (“Squid eyeballs, people! Squid eyeballs!”) but I was assured that sushi would not be served. What was served, however … I've blocked most of the food from that “lunch,” but there are still a few items that still strike out in my nightmares from time to time. There was the “soup,” which consisted of a small bowl with about a ½ inch of liquid and … cubes … of … stuff … sitting in the liquid. The liquid wasn't deep enough for “floating.” And yes, these were perfectly cut cubes. Of what, I have no idea. Vegetable matter most likely. I hope. Anyway, the only non-cube item in the bowl was a bit of deep fried tofu. Extremely crunchy on the outside, totally liquid on the inside, and gag- inducing in me. Most unpleasant. Then again, I'm not the most adventuresome of eaters. Okay, with the “soup” out of the way, the next nightmare item I remember was some form of egg dish. Only, it wasn't in a dish but a desert glass (a cross between a Sundae and a champagne glass). The eggs were … scrambled, I guess. With … stuff. That's the thing—most of the food that day was “stuff.” What? I have no idea. Just … supposedly edible things with off-putting textures and flavors. I remember a dish with some chicken that was okay (the chicken; not the rest of the dish) but otherwise, the entire “lunch” was a horror show of horrible textures and questionable flavors. I was lucy to make it out alive. So it was with trepidation that I viewed runnyrunny999's cooking videos [2]. The curry soba noodles [3] were—oh sweet Jesus that's what those cold slimy dark colored noodles with the questionable white “sauce” at that “lunch” were soba noodles! Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! Oh, wait … sorry about that. Flashbacks. Where was I? Oh yes, the curry soba noodles were (I can get through this) interesting (I didn't realize that curry paste was a curry spiced roux) but I'm not sure if I would eat the resulting dish. Shudder. The tonkatsu [4] looked edible and I might actually make beef bento lunch box [5]. So far so good. So let's see what's involved with a Japanized-Korean style pizza [6]? I mean, it can't be that bad bad, can—WTF? [7] Did runnyrunny999 just say “bait?” Yes! He said “bait!” He said “whitebait [8].” And what exactly is this shirako stuff [9]? It's … um … I just lost my appetite. Yea, I definitely lost my appetite [10]. [1] http://www.fau.edu/ [2] https://www.youtube.com/user/runnyrunny999/videos?view=0 [3] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtZ-4OfmQGg [4] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIzsthN7o1E [5] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwYFBDpW7ic [6] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDDkhSlsXbA [7] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDDkhSlsXbA&t=0m45s [8] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whitebait [9] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIZ06IU-gCc [10] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NG9Z3ZN_BPo Email Sean Conner at sean@conman.org .