* * * * *
                                        
                               Satire done right
                                        
Several days ago I bemoaned the death of satire [1], but lest you forget what
satire is:

> Edie Oats, WI—First-year teacher Susan Potts was placed on unpaid
> administrative leave pending termination from her position at Forked Tongue
> Middle School for paying for a lunchtime snack with a Massachusetts state
> quarter.
> 
> “We have a strict zero-tolerance policy regarding firearms, and the
> Massachusetts quarter has a firearm depicted on it. A teacher, of all
> people, should know better than to bring such items on campus,” said
> Superintendent Stew Pid.
> 
> Pid was referring to the Ma ssachusetts quarter [2], released in 2000 as
> part of the US Mint's extremely popular 50 State Quarters Program. The
> Massachusetts quarter clearly shows a minuteman carrying a firearm.
> 
> “I thought all money was acceptable at school,” said Potts. “I just wanted
> a rice cake and gave the cafeteria lady some coins, one of which was the
> quarter in question. It never occurred to me to ‘screen’ my money, and I
> had no idea the cafeteria ladies were trained to look for people spending
> this particular quarter.”
> 
> Potts referred to a recently-instituted anti-violence program at school,
> the Cafeteria Workers Against Rotten Teachers Endorsing Rifles, or CWARTER.
> 
> “The CWARTER program is an effective anti-violence campaign implemented at
> all our schools,” according to Superintendent Pid. “We've trained all our
> cafeteria ladies to be on the lookout for money with weaponry on it.”
> 
> After spending the inappropriate quarter, Ms. Potts was placed on unpaid
> administrative leave. Next Tuesday she will plead her case before the
> school board, which is expected to terminate her employment immediately.
> 

“Right on the Left Coast: Views From a Conservative Teacher: Teacher Fired
For Spending A Quarter At School [3]”

But the actual story being satirized is just as pathetic. And soon, teachers
in Wisconsin will have to follow a policy [4] about what they can and can't
publish on their private Facebook [5] page (no, really! Unless you're a
member of Facebook, and are explicitely allowed by a fellow user, you can't
see their page!).

Welcome to the Nanny State.

[1] gopher://gopher.conman.org/0Phlog:2009/02/05.2
[2] http://www.usmint.gov/mint_programs/50sq_program/states/?state=ma
[3] http://rightontheleftcoast.blogspot.com/2009/02/teacher-fired-for-
[4] http://addins.wkowtv.com/blogs/behindthenews/archives/114
[5] http://www.facebook.com/

Email Sean Conner at sean@conman.org

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