* * * * *
                                        
                             Yeah, they're that bad
                                        
Spring [1] picked up the Sunday paper on, well, Sunday and the first thing I
snagged was the Sunday Comics.

I shouldn't have bothered [2].

Thankfully it wasn't my money this time.

Even Berkeley Breathed's [3] new comic strip, Opus [4], was … eh (the first
three panels were funny, then it went downhill fast).

Foxtrot [5] was mildly amusing.

Obligatory Sidebar Links

* Sacred hamburger: the role of our heros in the decline of the newspaper
  comics page [6]
* The frightening side of change: why syndicates don't like Scott Kurtz and
  Keen [7]
* Wiley blinks. [8]


Everything else? Dilbert [9]? Peanuts [10]? Baby Blues [11]? For Better or
for Worse [12]? Mutts [13]? Sherman's Lagoon [14]? Born Loser [15]? Brewster
Rockit: Space Guy [16]? Prickly City [17]? Zits [18]? Red and Rover [19]?
Luann [20]? Blondie [21]? (is that strip ever going to die?) Non Sequitur
[22]? Doonesbury [23]? Prince Valiant [24]? (the artwork on that one is worse
than it was a decade ago—what happened?) Hi & Lois [25]? Mary Worth [26]? (do
people still read this?) B. C. [27]? Marmaduke [28]? The Lockhorns [29]? The
(gag!) Family Circus [30]? Get Fuzzy [31]? Cathy [32]? (“Aaaaaaaaack!”) Baldo
[33]? Rose is Rose [34]? The Wizard of Id [35]? Curtis [36]? Garfield [37]?
Hagar the Horrible [38]? Sally Forth [39]? Beetle Bailey [40]? 

Bland.

Or worse (and really, the artwork on Prince Valiant was bad, really bad).

There wasn't even a joke in the Garfield strip:

> Panel 1: **Garfield:** Food! (Pointing to food bowl)
> 
> Panel 2: **Garfield:** Bed! (Pointing to bed)
> 
> Panel 3: **Garfield:** Punching bag! (Pointing to Odie)
> 
> Panel 4: **Garfield:** Confidant! (Pointing to Pooky
> 
> Panel 5: **Garfield:** Soft touch! (Pointing to Jon)
> 
> Panel 6: **Garfield:** Honestly, what do you get the cat who has everthing?
> 
> “Garfield”, Sunday, December 20^th, 2004
> 

Basically, it was a waste of about fifteen minutes.

I'll stick with the web-based comics. Not because, as a whole, they're
better, but because there's a wider variety, and even if 90% of them are
worse than the syndicated newspaper comics, that still leaves more web-based
comics that are better than the number of syndicated newspaper comics. Or a
larger number of web-based comics that cater to my tastes.

[1] http://www.springdew.com/
[2] gopher://gopher.conman.org/0Phlog:2003/11/25.2
[3] http://www.berkeleybreathed.com/
[4] http://www.berkeleybreathed.com/pages/opus_returns.asp
[5] http://www.ucomics.com/foxtrox/2004/12/19/
[6] http://www.websnark.com/archives/2004/12/sacred_hamburge.html
[7] http://www.websnark.com/archives/2004/11/the_frightening.html
[8] http://www.websnark.com/archives/2004/12/wiley_blinks.html
[9] http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/dilbert/
[10] http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/peanuts/
[11] http://www.kingfeatures.com/features/comics/babyblue/about.htm
[12] http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/forbetter/
[13] http://www.kingfeatures.com/features/comics/mutts/about.htm
[14] http://www.kingfeatures.com/features/comics/lagoon/about.htm
[15] http://www.unidemedia.com/comics/bornloser/
[16] http://www.comicspage.com/brewster/brewster.html
[17] http://www.amuniversal.com/ups/features/pricklycity/
[18] http://www.kingfeatures.com/features/comics/zits/about.htm
[19] http://www.comics.com/wash/redandrover/
[20] http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/luann/
[21] http://www.kingfeatures.com/features/comics/blondie/about.htm
[22] http://www.amuniversal.com/ups/features/non_sequitur/
[23] http://www.amuniversal.com/ups/features/doonesbury/
[24] http://www.kingfeatures.com/features/comics/pvaliant/about.htm
[25] http://www.kingfeatures.com/features/comics/hi_lois/about.htm
[26] http://www.kingfeatures.com/features/comics/mworth/about.htm
[27] http://www.comics.com/creators/bc/
[28] http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/marmaduke/
[29] http://www.kingfeatures.com/features/comics/lockhorn/about.htm
[30] http://www.kingfeatures.com/features/comics/familyc/about.htm
[31] http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/getfuzzy/
[32] http://www.amuniversal.com/ups/features/cathy/
[33] http://www.ucomics.com/baldo/
[34] http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/roseisrose/
[35] http://www.comics.com/creators/wizardofid/
[36] http://www.kingfeatures.com/features/comics/curtis/about.htm
[37] http://www.ucomics.com/garfield/
[38] http://www.kingfeatures.com/features/comics/hagar/about.htm
[39] http://www.kingfeatures.com/features/comics/sforth/about.htm
[40] http://www.kingfeatures.com/features/comics/bbailey/about.htm

Email Sean Conner at sean@conman.org

.