* * * * *
                                        
         The next wave in web advertising, only it doesn't seem to work
                                        
> Unicast is extremely proud to introduce the long-awaited **Video
> Commercial**—the new online ad format that delivers full screen, television
> quality video for advertisers.
> 
> The 2 MB, 30-second spots exhibit **broadcast**—not broadband—quality video
> larger than any other format and allows advertisers to build interactivity
> into their sophicsticated offline assets.
> 
> Delivered via our patented, fully pre-cached method, the Video Commercial
> is the only formst that plays perfectly for every consumer, every time up
> to 8 times faster than broadband video.
> 

“Unicast [1]”

If there are typos in the above quote, it's my fault, since the text is being
rendered by Flash [2], which of course means you can't cut-n-paste.


Okay, who let the marketers out? And why does anyone listen to them? Every
consumer? Every time?

Now I'm curious. I read further into the site:

> 30-seconds of pure video and expanded interactivity shown perfectly to
> every consumer every time.
> 
> Use full-screen, broadcast quality video to bring your advertising messages
> online. The [2 MB] Video Commercial plays without any ‘freezing’ or
> ‘buffering’ and up to 8 times faster than most broadband video units to
> ensure your campaigns play as well on the Internet as they do on
> Television.
> 

“Unicast Formats [3]”

Somebody better call John Ashcroft—these people are obviously smoking
something illegal. Eight times faster than broadband, and at broadcast
quality? Okay, this I have to see. I selected the “View Examples” link:

> Warning
> 
> Your browser does not accept cookies. You must enable cookies to continue
> with this demo.
> 

“Video Commericial [4]”

Okay, so there goes their claim of “every consumer, every time.” Didn't work
for me. So it's not “every time.” And I could have sworn I had cookies
enabled. Yup. I do. Okay, I enabled cookies based upon privacy settings of
“medium,” so I crank the setting down to the lowest setting possible and
reload the page.

> Warning
> 
> Your browser does not accept cookies. You must enable cookies to continue
> with this demo.
> 

“Video Commericial [5]”

Okay … damn the security, full cookies ahead!

> Warning
> 
> Your browser does not accept cookies. You must enable cookies to continue
> with this demo.
> 

“Video Commericial [6]”

Well heck!

If they can't get this to work under Windows XP and Mozilla [7], then there
is no way they can claim “every consumer, every time.” No XXXXXXX way. I
tried all the formats, all the demos, and not one worked for me. Not one!

I hope no one paid these jokers any money.

Then again, I'm not using IE (Internet Explorer) …

Like I said, who let the marketers out? And who's responsible for listening
to them?

[1] http://www.unicast.com/
[2] http://www.macromedia.com/software/flash/
[3] http://www.unicast.com/formats/
[4] http://www.unicast.com/formats/video/demo.asp
[5] http://www.unicast.com/formats/video/demo.asp
[6] http://www.unicast.com/formats/video/demo.asp
[7] http://www.mozilla.org/

Email Sean Conner at sean@conman.org

.