* * * * *
                                        
                        It was a dark and stormy night …
                                        
> I say, bleah. Brevity is the soul of wit, and this goes on and on and on
> and then it goes on and on and on some more and then it goes on for a bit
> after that. Long, long, long. Much funnier, sez I, is the likes of this:
> 
> > Jennifer stood there, quietly ovulating.
> > 
> 

“The Lyttle Lytton Contest [1]”

The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest [2] requires one to write the most horrible
opening sentance to a novel; the Lyttle Lytton Contest [3] is the same, only
you are restricted to 25 words or less, which makes for funnier openings,
such as:

> Monica had exploded, and I had a mystery, and pieces of her pancreas, on my
> hands.
> 

B. Otter

or

> For centuries, man had watched the clouds; now, they were watching him.
> 

S. Sachs

Great stuff here. Now I just need to come up with a horrible opening line to
a novel.

[1] http://adamcadre.ac/lyttle.html
[2] http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/
[3] http://adamcadre.ac/lyttle.html

Email Sean Conner at sean@conman.org

.