* * * * *
                                        
   Move over <ACRONYM TITLE="Bastard Operator From Hell">BOFH</ACRONYM>, here
                                  comes Gord …
                                        
> So a kid, around 19, signs up a new account. He decides to rent Sled Storm,
> and then never comes back. Well, ok. Gord left a couple messages to return
> the game, but no luck. 
> 
> Eventually the young adult phones and says he returned it. Uh-huh … That's
> right. 
> 
> So Gord forwards the account to collections. 
> 
> One day a few months later this lady walks in and starts yelling about how
> Gord sent her son to collections and ruined his credit rating so now he
> can't buy a car or stereo or something. 
> 
> Gord points out the obvious point that he stole a game and is a poor credit
> risk. 
> 
> Then the mother throws the game on the counter and says that the game is
> now back and I have to fix his credit. 
> 
> “Ma'am, first off, the game is destroyed. Look at it. Second, I've replaced
> the game already so I don't want it back. Instead, I seek the money for my
> cost on replacing it and the late fees he owed. Third, your son claimed he
> returned it.” 
> 
> This just sets her off. Something about how it's not her son's fault that
> he stole the game. 
> 
> “How is it not his fault?” 
> 
> “Because I brought it back.” 
> 
> “That excuses the original theft and lying to me?” 
> 
> “It's not his fault he lied and tried to steal it!” 
> 
> “Might I ask whose fault it is then?” 
> 
> Anyway, she starts yelling some more about how her son is never going to
> rent from Gord ever again. Gord points out that was exactly his point and
> that he had already closed the account when it was sent to collections. So
> she stormed out. 
> 
> The Gord often wonders why people threaten to never come back after they've
> been told never to return. 
> 

The Acts of Gord, The Book of Annoyances, Chapter 3: With Parents Like This …
 [1] 

We're up early, and Spring [2] seems facinated with watching Anne of Green
Gables [3] (if only Anne would just shut up!) so I'm surfing the web and I
come across The Acts of Gord [4] who seems to run a gaming store up in Canada
and has chronicled all the stupid people who have come through his store. 

I am glad I don't work in retail. 

[1] http://www.actsofgord.com/annoy/chapter3.html
[2] http://www.springdew.com/
[3] http://us.imdb.com/Title?0088727
[4] http://www.actsofgord.com/

Email author at sean@conman.org

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