# Drunk Chatting

Lately I drink too much alcohol.  Well, for some months, I would guess.
I know that drinking too much alcohol, too often isn't good.  I think I
drink because sometimes I'm bored.  I could do many things, like tidying
up or writing job applications...  But that's not enjoyable.

Ah, whatever, I digress.

Apart from only drinking alcohol, I write things on IRC while I'm drunk.
Sometimes I just write stupid things. (I called myself at some point a
village idiot on IRC).  And sometimes I hurt people with my words, or at
least try to do so.  In any way, this is not okay.  And especially (from
my point of view) these people, I try to hurt, showed some sort of trust
to me at some point in time. (Or at least it felt like this).

I know my problem regarding hurting people in some way already. (Or
trying to hurt people) Blocking or ignoring of messages from people,
which sometimes really care about me.  That's not good either.

Alcohol reduces the threshold for me to do these things.  So it makes it
simpler for me to behave like an asshole, but it doesn't make me an
asshole.  I can be an asshole without alcohol, too.  So I don't want to
say: "the alcohol is the reason I behave like this".

Regarding my behavior on IRC:

I'm sorry for these things I wrote.  Especially racist things, because I
can't explain to myself why I wrote things like that, apart from trying
to hurt someone.

To prevent something like this again, I'll try to keep myself out of
chats.  And I try to stop drinking alcohol.