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Date: Sat, 12 Jun 2010 17:59:36 +0200 (CEST)
From: Simon Wright <diver06@gmx.net>
Reply-To: Simon Wright <diver06@gmx.net>
To: FreeBSD-gnats-submit@freebsd.org
Cc:
Subject: Corrects English usage in NIS slave server setup in the Handbook (patch attached)
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>Number:         147812
>Category:       docs
>Synopsis:       [handbook] [patch] Corrects English usage in NIS slave server setup in the Handbook
>Confidential:   no
>Severity:       non-critical
>Priority:       low
>Responsible:    jkois
>State:          closed
>Quarter:        
>Keywords:       
>Date-Required:  
>Class:          update
>Submitter-Id:   current-users
>Arrival-Date:   Sat Jun 12 16:20:01 UTC 2010
>Closed-Date:    Fri Jul 23 23:38:10 UTC 2010
>Last-Modified:  Fri Jul 23 23:38:10 UTC 2010
>Originator:     Simon Wright
>Release:        FreeBSD 7.3-RELEASE-p1 amd64
>Organization:
>Environment:
System: FreeBSD vmserver04.home.wright.org 7.3-RELEASE-p1 FreeBSD 7.3-RELEASE-p1 #3: Sun May 30 05:54:36 CEST 2010 root@vmserver04.home.wright.org:/usr/obj/usr/src/sys/GENERIC amd64

>Description:
Minor correction to the English usage in the NIS slave server setup paragraph relating to the reason for adding crontab entries to a slave.
>How-To-Repeat:
Visit the Handbook, http://www.freebsd.org/doc/en_US.ISO8859-1/books/handbook/network-nis.html 
>Fix:

Doc update, patch attached.	

--- network-nis-old.html	2010-06-12 17:22:58.000000000 +0200
+++ network-nis.html	2010-06-12 17:43:41.000000000 +0200
@@ -40,7 +40,7 @@
 
 <i class="AUTHORGROUP"><span class="CONTRIB">Written by</span> Bill Swingle.</i> <i
 class="AUTHORGROUP"><span class="CONTRIB">Enhanced by</span> Eric Ogren and Udo
-Erdelhoff.</i> 
+Erdelhoff.</i>
 
 <div class="SECT2">
 <h2 class="SECT2"><a id="AEN37266" name="AEN37266">29.4.1 What Is It?</a></h2>
@@ -552,9 +552,9 @@
 </pre>
 
 <p>These two lines force the slave to sync its maps with the maps on the master server.
-Although these entries are not mandatory, since the master server attempts to ensure any
-changes to its NIS maps are communicated to its slaves and because password information
-is vital to systems depending on the server, it is a good idea to force the updates. This
+Although these entries are not mandatory since the master server attempts to ensure any
+changes to its NIS maps are communicated to its slaves, because password information
+is vital to systems depending on the server it is a good idea to force the updates. This
 is more important on busy networks where map updates might not always complete.</p>
 
 <p>Now, run the command <tt class="COMMAND">/etc/netstart</tt> on the slave server as
@@ -787,7 +787,7 @@
 <h2 class="SECT2"><a id="NETWORK-NETGROUPS" name="NETWORK-NETGROUPS">29.4.7 Using
 Netgroups</a></h2>
 
-<i class="AUTHORGROUP"><span class="CONTRIB">Contributed by</span> Udo Erdelhoff.</i> 
+<i class="AUTHORGROUP"><span class="CONTRIB">Contributed by</span> Udo Erdelhoff.</i>
 
 <p>The method shown in the previous section works reasonably well if you need special
 rules for a very small number of users and/or machines. On larger networks, you <span
>Release-Note:
>Audit-Trail:

From: Johann Kois <jkois@FreeBSD.org>
To: bug-followup@FreeBSD.org, diver06@gmx.net
Cc:  
Subject: Re: docs/147812: [handbook] [patch] Corrects English usage in NIS
 slave server setup in the Handbook
Date: Wed, 07 Jul 2010 11:54:00 +0200

 -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
 Hash: SHA1
 
 Hm,
 
 not sure if removing the commas would improve this paragraph.  I think
 it would be better to rephrase this sentence completely.  At the moment
 it is quite complicated and a little bit difficult to understand in my
 opinion.
 
 I will try to do something about that.
 
 jkois
 
 - -- 
  Johann Kois
  jkois(at)FreeBSD.org
  FreeBSD Documentation Project
  FreeBSD German Documentation Project - https://doc.bsdgroup.de
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Responsible-Changed-From-To: freebsd-doc->jkois 
Responsible-Changed-By: jkois 
Responsible-Changed-When: Wed Jul 7 10:18:34 UTC 2010 
Responsible-Changed-Why:  
Take. 


http://www.freebsd.org/cgi/query-pr.cgi?pr=147812 

From: Simon Wright <diver06@gmx.net>
To: Johann Kois <jkois@FreeBSD.org>
Cc: bug-followup@FreeBSD.org
Subject: Re: docs/147812: [handbook] [patch] Corrects English usage in NIS
 slave server setup in the Handbook
Date: Wed, 07 Jul 2010 23:00:44 +0200

 Johann Kois wrote:
 > not sure if removing the commas would improve this paragraph.  I think
 > it would be better to rephrase this sentence completely.  At the moment
 > it is quite complicated and a little bit difficult to understand in my
 > opinion.
 
 Yes indeed it is, my idea was just to make what is a convoluted 
 paragraph read more clearly by changing only the minimum. However 
 re-writing the whole sentence would be better.
 
 How about replacing it with this:
 
 "These entries are not required because the master server attempts 
 to push any map changes to its slaves, however due to the importance 
 of password information to other clients depending on the slave 
 server it is recommended to specifically force the password map 
 updates frequently."
 
 I don't write documentation for other than my own consumption but 
 the above seems to me to be clear and an improvement while keeping 
 the style of the original. I prefer the use of "required" and 
 "recommended" but you may not agree. Writing styles can be so different!
 
 Regards,
 
 Simon.

From: dfilter@FreeBSD.ORG (dfilter service)
To: bug-followup@FreeBSD.org
Cc:  
Subject: Re: docs/147812: commit references a PR
Date: Fri, 23 Jul 2010 12:48:45 +0000 (UTC)

 jkois       2010-07-23 12:48:37 UTC
 
   FreeBSD doc repository
 
   Modified files:
     en_US.ISO8859-1/books/handbook/network-servers chapter.sgml 
   Log:
   PR:     docs/147812
   
   Improve wording in section "29.4.4.2.3 Setting up a NIS Slave Server" and make the paragraph about "automatic NIS map update on slave
   server" easier to read/understand.
   
   Original patch provided by:     Simon Wright (diver06 att gmx dott net)
   
   Revision  Changes    Path
   1.124     +8 -7      doc/en_US.ISO8859-1/books/handbook/network-servers/chapter.sgml
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State-Changed-From-To: open->closed 
State-Changed-By: jkois 
State-Changed-When: Fri Jul 23 23:37:22 UTC 2010 
State-Changed-Why:  
The change discussed in this PR is now online.  Close the PR. 


http://www.freebsd.org/cgi/query-pr.cgi?pr=147812 
>Unformatted:
