                                 The Viper

   A young woman lived all alone on the top floor of an apartment
   building. One afternoon her telephone rang.
   "Hello," She answered.
   "This is the viper," a man said. "I'm coming up."
   "Someone's doing prank calls," she thought, and hung up the phone.
   A half-hour later the telephone rang again. It was the same man's
   voice on the other end.
   "It's the viper," he said, "I'll be up soon."
   The woman was starting to get a little frightened this time.
   Once more the telephone rang. She slowly answered the phone. It was
   the viper again.
   "I'm coming up now," he said.
   This time the woman was really scared. She called the police. They
   said they would be there as soon as possible. When the doorbell rang,
   she sighed with relief. "The police are here!" She thought.
   But when she answered the door..... there stood a little old man with
   a bucket and a cloth. "I am the viper," he said, "I vish to vash and
   vipe the vindows."
     _________________________________________________________________

                           Wait Till Martin Comes

   A man was out walking one day, when a storm came up. He was looking
   for a place to get out of the rain, when he came up to an old house.
   He ran up on the porch and knocked on the old door. Nobody answered.

   It started to really rain. It was coming down in buckets and the
   thunder was terrible. So he tried to open the door and found it was
   unlocked. So he went inside.

   There was nothing in the house except for a pile of wooden boxes. The
   man broke up some of them and made a fire with them. Then he sat down
   in front of the fire and soon got dry. The warm fire and flickering
   flames soon made the man get drowsy, then he fell asleep.

   When he woke up a black cat was sitting across the fire from the man.
   The cat eyed him for a minute than began purring. "That's a cute cat,"
   he thought. It was still raining so he dozed off again.

   When he opened his eyes a second time another cat was in the house,
   next to the first one. But this one was as big as a wolf. He looked at
   the man and said to the first cat, "Shall we do it now?"

   "No," replied the first cat, "Let's wait till Martin comes."

   "I must be dreaming," thought the man. He closed his eyes again, but a
   small noise made him open them again. He saw a third cat, and this one
   was as big as a tiger! He looked at the man the same as the other two
   and asked "Shall we do it now?"

   "No," replied the first cat, "Let's wait till Martin comes."

   The man jumped up quickly and ran out the door. Running away he called
   back, "When Martin comes, you tell him I couldn't wait."
