Subject: Earthquake
by Sarek2k



A major earthquake measuring 7.8 on the Richter scale hit Liverpool 
in the early hours of 15th September. The epicentre was Huyton. 
Casualties were seen wandering aimlessly saying "bang out of order", 
"mental" and "that did me 'ead in". The earthquake decimated the area 
causing in excess of 55 worth of damage. Several priceless 
collections of mementos from Ibiza and Corfu were damaged beyond repair.

Preserved areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many 
locals were woken up before their Giros arrived. The Liverpool 
Echo reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered. 
They are still trying to come to terms with the fact that the damage 
was caused by something else instead of them.

One resident, Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15 year old mother of four said 
"it was such a shock, little Chardonnay-Leigh came running through 
the cardboard door into my bedroom crying. My hands were shaking so 
much that I could hardly skin up when I was watching Trisha the next 
morning".

Another local resident known as Macca said the earthquake would not 
stop him going back to work, after all TWOCing, burglaries and 
graffiti would not do themselves.

The british Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of 
Sunny Delight to the area to help the crisis. Rescue workers were 
still searching through rubble and have found large quantities of 
personal belongings which include benefit books, jewellery from 
Elizabeth Dukes, bone china from Poundstretcher and a number of 
Argos catalogues.

However, they were unable to save any furniture from Crazy Georges. 

How can you help?
This appeal hopes to raise money for food and clothing parcels 
for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in the disaster. 
Clothing is most sort after. Most needed are Lacoste or other 
tracksuits (his and hers), White socks to tuck the tracksuit 
bottoms into, Burberry caps, woolly Benny hats and Reebok trainers. 
Primac clothing is most welcome. Food parcels are also needed. 
They include McCains micro chips, Aldi beans, Monster Munch, 
Nutella chocolate spread and Iceland pizzas. Alcohol is also 
in short supply, mainly Lambrini, White Lightning cider and 
Carlsberg Special Brew. Cash donations are also needed, 22p 
buys a Bic biro to sign on, 80p buys a portion of chips and 
15 buys 200 Regal from Tommo who has just got back from Kavos.