Posts by twentyninedollars@sfba.social
(DIR) Post #ASbgRViUtIh7pp0SAK by twentyninedollars@sfba.social
2023-02-12T15:01:28Z
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@kairyssdal People are worrying too much about this. First, we can send Marjorie T Green, who's been self-taught in astrophysics and solar surface repair.We send Musk to captain one of his rockets along with his fan base watching on live video and they repair the sun's surface issues. Too hot, you complain? Don't be a fool, they'll work on it at night!
(DIR) Post #ATcMegVB1XD39PVppY by twentyninedollars@sfba.social
2023-03-14T20:46:33Z
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@kairyssdal @CNN Look here Mr Journalist, if the chicken wing lawsuit goes through and boneless wings are outlawed, you can kiss your entire country goodbye, as it slides into Hades in a hand basket. And what's more, Wellesley might become a woman's and men's college!? It's them transpeople! Run!And ya know wut? I just got my labs back and my normal fats are now trans as well! I want my cis fats back. Pronto!
(DIR) Post #AWWf6ZHFRb20gUDfk0 by twentyninedollars@sfba.social
2023-06-09T20:21:15Z
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@lowqualityfacts This is true. Also, 9 of the top 20 poems written by humans are written either to our about oats. A close second is the Wankel rotary engine.And yes, I am a professor of English literature, currently working as a caddy at a Trump golf course, and part time Chinese spy.
(DIR) Post #AWasYmJ49C45rzDtL6 by twentyninedollars@sfba.social
2023-06-11T21:10:54Z
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@lowqualityfacts I got 1 quart of her 2% milk and it fell off my donkey and spilled on the street as I was leaving the burro handicapped space, and she refused to give me credit for another quart.I left her 2 out of 5 stars on Brazilian Yelp.
(DIR) Post #AWdUSV72CplviVZhoW by twentyninedollars@sfba.social
2023-06-13T03:24:54Z
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@lowqualityfacts The only Greek god one can say in vain is Chuck, the Greek god of haircuts.
(DIR) Post #AWkSTqgLUAv104Ab32 by twentyninedollars@sfba.social
2023-06-16T12:05:45Z
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@lowqualityfacts And don't forget that women have been trying since 2019 to reserve the exclusive right to take the career as birthers of children, and have enjoyed a monopoly of "motherhood" for decades.It's unconscionable. Luckily, the Supreme Court will likely rule on this, and restrict this practice, at least for a few generations to "pause" their greediness. It's time for men to reclaim their rights, maybe get a pay-raise as well?
(DIR) Post #AWqxjcibQsxbqyzGm8 by twentyninedollars@sfba.social
2023-06-19T15:24:07Z
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@lowqualityfacts
(DIR) Post #AWv2y1MtrGhWlGMOi8 by twentyninedollars@sfba.social
2023-06-21T14:39:51Z
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@lowqualityfacts It's striking to learn when visiting Korea, their entire food source consists of variations of Velveeta cheese. Seven out of ten school children there are named after cheeses. The word Samsung in Korean means "master chef of cheese fries."
(DIR) Post #AX1183J4SsrJUTvmVs by twentyninedollars@sfba.social
2023-06-24T11:49:25Z
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@lowqualityfacts Old wise women know, and have shared stories with discerning children for ages. The source: France.And wind has been exported globally since December 1977 ever since. In 2007, Yoplait began to bottle wind and sell it in smaller quantities to poor countries, like Guatemala and Canada. Ever since, unwashed Canadians have set sail to illegally cross the US border seeking good tasting artificially flavored maple syrup and Aunt Jemima, because "Canadian maple syrup tastes like liquid butt," according to the CBC.Next year, the UN will outlaw wind exports and finally the caravans of violent, untanned Canadians crossing the border will stop, and pancake inflation will subside."Those fucking Canadians," mused the Dalai Lama yesterday while eating 5 lbs of fried chicken on waffles covered by his last remaining bottle of Aunt Jemima. "I swear, if I hear one more song by Rush, I'm gonna beat up a hockey player" said the spiritual leader, while caressing a Glock 17 handgun.
(DIR) Post #AX4TmqJbXKDzK2yP8i by twentyninedollars@sfba.social
2023-06-25T19:02:03Z
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@lowqualityfacts The city of Bowling Green is named after the native green armadillo of Cincinnati which roll into balls and are used by children and young adults in junior bowling leagues throughout Ohio.They still survive for many years as balls, and consume corn chips and black licorice. Do not feed them chocolate.
(DIR) Post #AXCalQerhHp2P0s0aO by twentyninedollars@sfba.social
2023-06-30T01:50:31Z
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@lowqualityfacts I operate an underwater sushi restaurant with real, live fish and a tasting menu starting at 30' below the surface, 300' below, 3000' below and our special 13,000' below, in our hand-made submersible with roll down windows (just released.)Call now, operators standing by, money back guarantee, but you must show your receipt. Call now! Payment plan available, (as well as next-of-kin estate planning.)
(DIR) Post #AXDnQC1eOlKDV9gxpQ by twentyninedollars@sfba.social
2023-06-30T15:47:01Z
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@lowqualityfacts I had to miss a trophy ceremony for winning best croissant eater because I had to fly our private jet to Princeton to interview my selection of nude maids for my sophomore year, when Mummy purchased a villa for me. And then I found out my helicopter floor lining of baby-seal fur wasn't even ready for flying over to NYC to pick up my box of croissants the next morning!None of you poors and colored people (who I think just outright refuse to be white) can feel the depths of my pain! ðŸ˜#affirmationBillionaireAction #richButSelfish #GetMeAMartini
(DIR) Post #AXHwl6M2M5L4DJ70Xg by twentyninedollars@sfba.social
2023-07-02T15:50:29Z
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@lowqualityfacts And that tiny event, the Tour de France, just started, and it's best for media & advertising companies to have their engagement disappear like a dog fart in an elevator, amirite!?Apparently the Tour de France actually started in Paducah, Kentucky by Bert & Hannah Cowpattytoaster, sponsored by the NRA, until all riders were accidentally shot due to poor aim of Confederate soldiers who provided a 21-gun salute at each race start.