Posts by tobestewart@mastodonapp.uk
(DIR) Post #AVnA9zDSMGgNUhA0RM by tobestewart@mastodonapp.uk
2023-05-18T20:33:17Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
I see what you’re doing, saving all your good toots for later
(DIR) Post #AVz4dC9CpFl966YzFQ by tobestewart@mastodonapp.uk
2023-05-24T15:15:44Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
[*becoming self-aware*] “This is worse than I thought”
(DIR) Post #AWHUWUNeG8gS9wyJXM by tobestewart@mastodonapp.uk
2023-06-02T07:17:44Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
It looks like some Americans are still awake, but I think we should use long words anyway
(DIR) Post #AWUcwn5AfoZENcrQyu by tobestewart@mastodonapp.uk
2023-06-08T19:50:50Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
The “F” in “OMFG” is for “Fictional”
(DIR) Post #AWVSMqEgfOhLLsUWGG by tobestewart@mastodonapp.uk
2023-06-09T06:21:41Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
S is short for 8
(DIR) Post #AWeY30vTtYCPpZEWOG by tobestewart@mastodonapp.uk
2023-06-12T13:17:35Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
How many years is a panic attack supposed to last?
(DIR) Post #AWvCEDgIkJ7LAbEZTE by tobestewart@mastodonapp.uk
2023-06-21T15:55:52Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
I can’t believe it’s the summer solstice and, already, the shops are full of autumnal equinox paraphernalia
(DIR) Post #AWzdggt9DNCO2VpUlE by tobestewart@mastodonapp.uk
2023-06-23T19:52:02Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts Before the seatbelt was invented, women could have as many breasts as they wanted
(DIR) Post #AX0RblhQtZTlDlCEhk by tobestewart@mastodonapp.uk
2023-06-24T04:47:39Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
“Christ” is past-tense. Whilst He was alive, He was known as Chris
(DIR) Post #AX0W9bIoSQWwda4JKS by tobestewart@mastodonapp.uk
2023-06-21T16:08:55Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
A Jonathan is just 26.2 Johns
(DIR) Post #AX87zZLSWO0660LMy8 by tobestewart@mastodonapp.uk
2023-06-27T18:54:39Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
Future-me is going to be furious with past-me but I’m today-me so fuck it
(DIR) Post #AXYiqCa68dpaazswCG by tobestewart@mastodonapp.uk
2023-04-08T20:59:24Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
At times like this, I ask myself “what would Jesus do?” and then I hide in a cave for three days
(DIR) Post #AXlCqwHua8NvBDuM52 by tobestewart@mastodonapp.uk
2023-07-16T18:37:24Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@stux *drops keys*
(DIR) Post #AXtrUIb03i8tBsTLaS by tobestewart@mastodonapp.uk
2023-07-19T20:13:29Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
[Creation]God: “SHAZAM!”Giraffe: “What the f-“God: “YOU ARE A GIRAFFE”Giraffe: “Why...Why am I so tall? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT?”God: *creates thorny Acacia tree*Giraffe: “You sick f-”
(DIR) Post #AYpRnLno3YSrLLv6Rs by tobestewart@mastodonapp.uk
2023-08-17T11:49:15Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
I would pray more but He won’t shut up about cake
(DIR) Post #AaApSSzztJwTCDro5Q by tobestewart@mastodonapp.uk
2023-09-14T22:00:24Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
If necessary, pretend to be dead
(DIR) Post #Aadb98pfF01Fjjsz5M by tobestewart@mastodonapp.uk
2023-10-10T12:36:19Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
I've been trying to leave Rome for weeks but all their roads have this weird design flaw
(DIR) Post #AbSubseSZ5LnvsGAca by tobestewart@mastodonapp.uk
2023-11-04T10:58:45Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
Some of the best posts are written by other people
(DIR) Post #AbXaU42BKm23cq9PF2 by tobestewart@mastodonapp.uk
2023-11-06T15:59:36Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
My doctor says it’s not depression, it’s a “remarkably accurate world-view”
(DIR) Post #Aca5NgfWyUvwLx7vPs by tobestewart@mastodonapp.uk
2023-12-06T23:48:02Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
People say Mastodon is a futile waste of time, but that’s only if you’re doing it right