Posts by remulacfrommars@jorts.horse
(DIR) Post #1940919 by remulacfrommars@jorts.horse
2018-12-12T21:47:47Z
0 likes, 2 repeats
One of those afternoons with the kids
(DIR) Post #2019001 by remulacfrommars@jorts.horse
2018-12-16T00:52:47Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
So glad I got the one budtender who was down to skip all the fake-friendly chatter and just give me the drugs
(DIR) Post #2076502 by remulacfrommars@jorts.horse
2018-12-18T13:22:47Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
*Senator Dick Durbin, looks at a list of people born on his birth date and speaks to himself in the third person*Why, they're all Durbin's age!
(DIR) Post #2077481 by remulacfrommars@jorts.horse
2018-12-18T14:12:22Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lynnesbian It's fucked up
(DIR) Post #2077721 by remulacfrommars@jorts.horse
2018-12-18T14:21:01Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@Robby @lynnesbian all soda is coke, but Coke is the most coke. What's not to get?
(DIR) Post #2077723 by remulacfrommars@jorts.horse
2018-12-18T14:23:57Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
@SanfordianPhil @Robby @lynnesbian That's a classic coke, but not a Coke Classic
(DIR) Post #2688216 by remulacfrommars@jorts.horse
2018-12-18T13:23:30Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
Your turban sage toot has to be as terrible as the original, or you're not doing it right
(DIR) Post #3230690 by remulacfrommars@jorts.horse
2019-01-21T21:33:54Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
People argue about how to wipe, but they unite in hatred when I suggest, “sideways.” Sucks being a peacekeeper
(DIR) Post #9goONJ3IHIgAWuPsvY by remulacfrommars@jorts.horse
2018-10-08T14:12:10Z
1 likes, 1 repeats
Rigged it so the Seinfeld theme plays every time I enter my living room.In unrelated news: my wife left.
(DIR) Post #9mYiU05zuPnYsvukLY by remulacfrommars@jorts.horse
2019-09-03T22:10:45Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
:jhg_c::jhg_l::jhg_o::jhg_p: :jhg_c::jhg_l::jhg_o::jhg_p:
(DIR) Post #9zYJ5te4PSiF8Y8fVw by remulacfrommars@jorts.horse
2020-09-26T13:20:10Z
1 likes, 1 repeats
The Beatles did all that on a four track, which is simple technology. They would’ve been lost in today’s studio. Four British guys with bad haircuts, smashing buttons with their fists
(DIR) Post #A16GWhWuVlbE2POITY by remulacfrommars@jorts.horse
2020-11-11T20:42:00Z
1 likes, 1 repeats
The last great work of American architecture was the Pizza Hut. The roof, reminiscent of a red wide-brimmed hat, made me think Italians were simply bad at saying words. It turns out they are, but the building is in fact a hut. That two things can be true at the same time was an important lesson to a young Will
(DIR) Post #A16K9WlkkimXowXTKS by remulacfrommars@jorts.horse
2020-11-11T20:58:54Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
Found a stingray in my backyard. It’s cool, though. All the other stingrays hate the one that did Steve Irwin, it said. I’m going to trust it
(DIR) Post #A1FUt9HFNreFrSg3pA by remulacfrommars@jorts.horse
2020-11-15T14:55:31Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
Thinking about how hamlet never got to grow up, never got to be a ham
(DIR) Post #A3kSvdDJ4frOn6L1G4 by remulacfrommars@jorts.horse
2021-01-29T23:38:26Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
I’m too drunk to follow the Artemis Fowl movie’s plot. The dialogue is nine-tenths exposition about some bullshit having to do with goblins and faeries. I spent five minutes laughing at “dame judy stench” which popped into my head while I was feeling bad for her being in this dung heap of a film
(DIR) Post #A4LEYgnm8LeUKc1yVs by remulacfrommars@jorts.horse
2021-02-16T19:38:36Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
Cities can’t “fall.” Rome never “fell”. It sank. The Rome of 2000 years ago is a couple feet underground, give or take
(DIR) Post #ABxuc5QaMTvrUHNVk8 by remulacfrommars@jorts.horse
2021-10-02T18:15:53Z
8 likes, 5 repeats
I have just been informed that it’s not a “jackoff lantern” by the cashier at the supermarket. Pedants are everywhere
(DIR) Post #AFFciJWtVoo8bbjzFY by remulacfrommars@jorts.horse
2022-01-08T23:47:13Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@Counsel what if we gave rise to Homo Heisenbergensis, from too many breaking bad marathons on AMC?
(DIR) Post #APe9TYUv2wzvE06klM by remulacfrommars@jorts.horse
2022-11-16T00:32:35Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
No school is easier to get into than my chainsaw-juggling academy. I can count the number of rejections on my one hand
(DIR) Post #AiLx7ugJOCPjNJklqC by remulacfrommars@jorts.horse
2022-12-10T13:07:17Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
Tonight, I’m introducing my children to live theater by telling them we’re going to a play as soon as my friend Godot comes to pick us up