Posts by rats@alt.suicide.holiday
(DIR) Post #A9OLY9DqBvwrnO8AUq by rats@alt.suicide.holiday
2021-07-17T21:06:12.541268Z
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@syn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ONgl1DtCoY
(DIR) Post #A9OLxxmvKGhfrWqmJc by rats@alt.suicide.holiday
2021-07-17T21:10:53.002785Z
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@syn did i tell you that i had a dream i was in some sort of weird permanent-night wasteland full of various shacks that people made and i talked to the band "toyota" about my desire to die and they were very nurturing about it
(DIR) Post #A9OM4nsEaMsv8mb0SW by rats@alt.suicide.holiday
2021-07-17T21:12:07.360184Z
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@syn i dont know why my brain picked themmaybe they look or seem nice to my subconscious?
(DIR) Post #A9OMGJ7oja0BFaN1Em by rats@alt.suicide.holiday
2021-07-17T21:14:11.902512Z
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@xxshtxx bold claim
(DIR) Post #A9OMIc9WxdLAqJGuGG by rats@alt.suicide.holiday
2021-07-17T21:14:37.500605Z
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@xxshtxx at any rate im just having some sort of random-feeling crisis and am not about to do anything
(DIR) Post #A9OMMwjcNZRppqDVia by rats@alt.suicide.holiday
2021-07-17T21:15:24.545910Z
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@xxshtxx has this all been a long con to suck my dick
(DIR) Post #A9OMPFL6B9nq7CqRqy by rats@alt.suicide.holiday
2021-07-17T21:15:49.322976Z
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@syn they're weirdos
(DIR) Post #A9OPYz4Np7QmPkMShM by rats@alt.suicide.holiday
2021-07-17T21:51:11.447245Z
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i worked at google in the nyc office at port authority for a while and i fucking hated it so bad i would go up to the 14th floor and hang out on the balcony after work and stare out into soho or whatever and think about flinging myself off it. according to lostallhope and the original book by geo stone that everyone cites, 14 stories is definitely plenty to smash all life out of my body unless some freak accident happens. there was only this like waist-high stone thing because google wouldnt compromise aesthetics or anything and i guess this wasn't a very popular thing to do. i wondered if the fact that i did this would show up on my like quarterly report or something but i guess google didnt really care about that. i thought it might be funny to fling myself off of that and traumatize a ton of nerds especially because there was a ton of internal drama at google at this time. but at some other point while i was there people came in on a monday morning to discover that some guy had just like fully died while at his desk, like not violently not a suicide just like face down on the keyboard dead. we got like an email about this but nothing else happened. even in high school if some kid in a different class died in a car accident then everyone could go talk to a counselor about death if they wanted to or just go home early and process it or something but it really freaked me out that it was just like... Oops. Sorry, there was a dead body. We removed it. All obstacles overcome. Construction begins Monday.i questioned the wisdom of turning my final act on the planet into a troll, especially a troll on a place that had already dehumanized itself and faced to bloodshed to the extent that it seemed to barely acknowledge death except if it was a body that was occupying a desk and thus preventing it from being used to produce Value, so i guess i never did this.
(DIR) Post #A9OQ3Uy5n2am27y9ZI by rats@alt.suicide.holiday
2021-07-17T21:56:42.788744Z
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@Agris @nyx i'm all ears to compelling alternatives. if you are trying hubzilla or something else i'll prob at least throw an instance up somewhere to mess around with it
(DIR) Post #A9OVG8BAKXTwtCvXYe by rats@alt.suicide.holiday
2021-07-17T22:54:59.320368Z
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@amnesiac cheers fellow sober despair person
(DIR) Post #A9OVUuBscaKBqgJ2qO by rats@alt.suicide.holiday
2021-07-17T22:57:41.500438Z
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@ew @amnesiac nothing makes you realize life rules like an internet person asserting to you that life is good
(DIR) Post #A9OVYGFd3cuh8XeyZ6 by rats@alt.suicide.holiday
2021-07-17T22:58:17.830616Z
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@ew @amnesiac im drinking ginger tea and listening to this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RniWLOIPMyk
(DIR) Post #A9OVr3hvuymDjgrWvQ by rats@alt.suicide.holiday
2021-07-17T23:01:40.972249Z
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@ew @amnesiac its maybe (apparently?) not normal but i dont see how anyone could find our material circumstances not insanely depressing, the solution is to alienate yourself from them. iirc your suggestion to me to solve this without medication was to brainwash myself into not thinking about them.
(DIR) Post #A9OW1u0yIRIQrKwDtg by rats@alt.suicide.holiday
2021-07-17T23:03:38.126583Z
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@ew @amnesiac the meds i take now that are so far the only things that have by and large kept me from thinking about how disgusting reality is are also gonna give me dementia lol
(DIR) Post #A9OW6dQzMxCessMdd2 by rats@alt.suicide.holiday
2021-07-17T23:04:30.547684Z
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@ew @amnesiac im acutely aware that first world lifestyles are deeply unnatural what is your suggestion
(DIR) Post #A9OWHWYRHxEgjS2cSG by rats@alt.suicide.holiday
2021-07-17T23:06:28.086762Z
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@ew @amnesiac one of the nicest jobs i ever had was one where i just had to clean shit and dig holes all day
(DIR) Post #A9OWSPi152yCgciIb2 by rats@alt.suicide.holiday
2021-07-17T23:08:26.752749Z
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@ew @amnesiac yes its all distraction from the fact that life fucking sucks im glad we agree on that at least i think about this a lot but i find it a struggle to envision anything further out than 24 hours in the future with any seriousness. i'll look at the book
(DIR) Post #A9OWX2KtPM0He16Nto by rats@alt.suicide.holiday
2021-07-17T23:09:16.800960Z
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@ew @amnesiac your thoughts are scattered. my thoughts are scattered.
(DIR) Post #A9OWzI6GOJJEdzjRKq by rats@alt.suicide.holiday
2021-07-17T23:14:22.678130Z
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https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/87749723
(DIR) Post #A9ObjdFoTNBVODYFJg by rats@alt.suicide.holiday
2021-07-18T00:07:29.908757Z
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@io @eris that’s a great idea