Posts by jackdaw@jackdaw.today
(DIR) Post #9gEJgco7YgPZqA9eHg by jackdaw@jackdaw.today
2019-02-26T14:45:50.965062Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
standing outside the shower while the hot water depletes because I wanna make sure I get out all my Emperor Nero burns before I step in and can't type. normal morning on normal website.
(DIR) Post #9gEMV3lDoxAzp0yXlQ by jackdaw@jackdaw.today
2019-02-26T15:16:48.511386Z
1 likes, 2 repeats
the most important part of my morning routine is when i sit on the bed and my dog hops up next to me, and then i put a clean new sock on my hand and rub his snout with my fuzzy sock-hand. it's the foundation of every successful day.
(DIR) Post #9gEZtsbhj1UvsDgmwq by jackdaw@jackdaw.today
2019-02-26T17:44:06.638009Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
y'ever feel like some other poaster out there is basically a palette swapped version of you?
(DIR) Post #9gEaZCMNBpWv0aDikK by jackdaw@jackdaw.today
2019-02-26T17:52:11.902721Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@xeno lol what year is it
(DIR) Post #9gEmyVgPgNHbczQiUC by jackdaw@jackdaw.today
2019-02-26T20:15:16.238092Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
Brotalitarianism! it's authoritative government for me.hh..nn nevermind.
(DIR) Post #9gEmzradicZlrPNI9I by jackdaw@jackdaw.today
2019-02-26T20:11:19.404357Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
loudly shouting "I WISH SOMEBODY COULD EXPLAIN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A JETTY AND A QUAY" in an attempt to summon a nautical muppet of some kind to sing me an educational shanty.
(DIR) Post #9gEnLf1H8TcfFFE8jQ by jackdaw@jackdaw.today
2019-02-26T20:18:57.441822Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
massive sticky bottle of gape-le syrup.
(DIR) Post #9gJcqEVXd21yI8Yi6i by jackdaw@jackdaw.today
2019-03-01T04:13:41.195998Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
what'd I miss today?
(DIR) Post #9gJd00ozMvf4jwJnYO by jackdaw@jackdaw.today
2019-03-01T04:16:46.951391Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
@gazelle oh my god i missed you and i missed-missed you!!
(DIR) Post #9gNfRXAECli3PMLMki by jackdaw@jackdaw.today
2019-03-03T02:57:21.133132Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
did somebody say #LaserPose? i thought i heard somebody say #LaserPoseimage.png
(DIR) Post #9gOm4jYcqzdo1Sn4SG by jackdaw@jackdaw.today
2019-02-28T02:31:55.268448Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
if all the world's Brandons had to fight all the world's Brendans who would win?
(DIR) Post #9gRH60UEsltFiEkHdQ by jackdaw@jackdaw.today
2019-03-04T20:26:15.849444Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@citrustwee young lady i will march over to /mu/ right now and pull you out by the scruff of your neck god help me.
(DIR) Post #9gRH60wxA0rJ9IBDOK by jackdaw@jackdaw.today
2019-03-04T20:31:21.669880Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@citrustweeimage.png
(DIR) Post #9gRHLqNoDQEZ0fI0wq by jackdaw@jackdaw.today
2019-03-04T20:43:59.823448Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@citrustweeimage.png
(DIR) Post #9gSeI7RnJyM8sZJ4TI by jackdaw@jackdaw.today
2019-03-05T12:42:48.054660Z
1 likes, 2 repeats
i wish other countries would steal the bodies of prominent Brits and Americans to put on display in their museums. not political leaders, but bodies of people we actually care about. like if Egypt just swiped the bodies of Stan Lee and David Bowie to put on display like "we just want to raise awareness and respect for their beautiful culture! $10 admission!"
(DIR) Post #9gSirIsnCD0wIVy2Zk by jackdaw@jackdaw.today
2019-03-05T13:31:36.755933Z
1 likes, 1 repeats
it's 5:30 a.m. and i'm scrambling to work out a pun that combines "packet loss" and jizz so i can riff with a friendo across the world. this is exactly what Tim Burgers Lee had in mind when he invented the WWW.
(DIR) Post #9gUs8REagaSr1gKQYy by jackdaw@jackdaw.today
2019-03-06T14:27:55.883767Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@kaniini is it a safe starting assumption that just about everything that can be configured from adding to prod.secret.exs is going to make its way in somewhere with current plans?
(DIR) Post #9gi5idgHiAhaVrLxz6 by jackdaw@jackdaw.today
2019-03-12T23:24:37.183297Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
a couple years back i learned that urinal cakes don't actually dissolve over the course of successive flushes, but rather they sublimate into the bathroom air. ever since that moment, my mind has become infinitely flexible. learning that one fact turned my imagination into the fourth panel of a galaxy-brain meme, capable of accepting even staunchly contradictory ideas as wholly true.
(DIR) Post #9hXBXSFSXYsNm0i16e by jackdaw@jackdaw.today
2019-04-06T15:04:42.228229Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@Louisa @realmaxkeebleRELEASE THE CORN MILK!!
(DIR) Post #9j8xeuPgFkrGdf8RVY by jackdaw@jackdaw.today
2019-03-08T22:53:45.876218Z
1 likes, 2 repeats
when you die, the accumulated sarcasm from your entire lifetime is collected up and animated as a golem that you must battle to proceed into the afterlife. i'm not saying sarcasm is an unalloyed bad thing. i'm just saying get ready to square up one of these days.