Posts by burgerking@kiwifarms.cc
(DIR) Post #A351Kibrf3us1tcH8i by burgerking@kiwifarms.cc
2021-01-10T02:04:03.045591Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
In these times of social turmoil, political duress, racial dissidence and all around negativity, Burger King stands with the population and wishes to maintain the stance of being a constant source of unhealthy food for you and your family.That's why we've decided to start our new "Your Way 1$" Menu where you can choose from numerous, delectable, cardiac arrest inducing items from our menu such as:- French Fries (from yesterday)- Burnt Crispy Chicken Sandwich- Leftover Bacon King- Mocha Macchiato made with 100% spoiled milk.Stay safe, Have it YOUR WAY.
(DIR) Post #A351OSSJfC835SvvSy by burgerking@kiwifarms.cc
2021-01-10T02:06:24.851870Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@Snail We do try to accommodate our patrons. Thank you for your business. As a token of our appreciation, please use code "fuckinnigger" on your next online order.Have it your way.
(DIR) Post #A351eZ8KbUjOQmGZVo by burgerking@kiwifarms.cc
2021-01-10T02:08:27.871818Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@ERalph We appreciate your patronage. We're sorry that our wrappers were not to your satisfaction. As recompense for your troubles, please use coupon code "aborttheretort" on your next online purchase.Have it your way.
(DIR) Post #A36634Gn5JXQvK7d20 by burgerking@kiwifarms.cc
2021-01-10T14:26:28.309974Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
@bucadibeppo We're sorry to hear that. But we suggest you mind your own fast food atrocity and leave ours to our utterly incapable staff members that are disgruntled at their working conditions despite having no qualifications and hence take it out on the customers' orders by providing subpar service.If you want some tips on how to deal with the lactation upon the floor, baking soda and soda water placed on top of the estrogen-filled milk is what we commonly use!Good luck keeping with our new $1 menu items. Our district manager Ben's methamphetamine addiction is at an all time high with how much money he keeps stealing from the registers to fuel his raging needs, which can only mean good news for us.Have it OUR WAY.
(DIR) Post #A3665zFeCRAeEBylsW by burgerking@kiwifarms.cc
2021-01-10T02:24:26.995302Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
It pains us to hear that Josh. As a token of our esteem, please take this coupon "dearfeeder" for $1 on your next online order of a 100% vegetable-based patty Impossible Whopper, cooked in unclean fire grills that have seen hundreds of processed meat patties cooked on them.Have it YOUR WAY.
(DIR) Post #A3665zeogrItUFks6q by burgerking@kiwifarms.cc
2021-01-10T14:31:02.554812Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@nobit Dear "nohull/nobit" we're sorry to hear you make poor decisions in your choice of unhealthy, artery-clogging fast food. We thoroughly hope though you enjoy the byproduct of their inferior product when you have to sit on the toilet and gain another hemorrhoid.Should've had it OUR WAY.
(DIR) Post #A36QcpJ8BoSo1kXray by burgerking@kiwifarms.cc
2021-01-10T18:23:03.571440Z
3 likes, 0 repeats
@KFC Dear KFC, please stop revealing our secrets to our amazing coronary-inducing 100% non-meat-meat products. A cease and desist letter has been sent your way.Comply or we will take legal recourse and have OUR WAY with you.Have a nice day.
(DIR) Post #A3DNMgoOWJh1JMsh5E by burgerking@kiwifarms.cc
2021-01-14T02:36:02.684078Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
Dear customers, we are often asked why we don't serve alcoholic beverages in our chain - unlike the competition in their greasy Italian branch.We're like to make it clear that it is because not only are we a family business - which means we target both parents and children to be pushed into the path to their starring in a My 600lbs Life on TLC - but also because our Regional Manager Jerry is an outrageous alcoholic with several "alleged" claims of hit and runs in several states.To convince the courts otherwise and to save our good name, the CEO has banned even the mention of alcoholic beverages in meetings and on premises.Even in this post right now I'm going against company policy. But frankly, after they skimped me out on my promised bonus they can kiss my Whopper.Have it DISGRUNTLED WAY.
(DIR) Post #A3FZW5bHJXiKZ0ulgu by burgerking@kiwifarms.cc
2021-01-15T01:16:09.977424Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@ERalph Hello Ralph! Thank you so much for the suggestion, we will be sure to put it in our suggestions box which so happens to hover above the trash can. For your precious opinion, we've set up a special code for you "alcoholicdeadbeatgunt" good for a week! We can't wait to sustain ourselves through the money you will spend on us during that week, which should last us for this year and the next!Have it DRUNK WAY!
(DIR) Post #A42JybAvJowxGAXmrI by burgerking@kiwifarms.cc
2021-02-07T13:30:17.325109Z
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@bucadibeppo @freekiwi @KFC @Tropical_Paradise Rumors of our demise have been extremely exaggerated.Who needs to advertise when you are The King of fast food?Besides we've been busy conducting experiments on our brand new products that we can't wait to share with our customers! And it only took several food poisonings and gastric chronic complications. Don't worry though, they were disposable.Have it The Mengele Way!
(DIR) Post #A6ZfBkl4KtW0DV9F32 by burgerking@kiwifarms.cc
2021-04-24T14:29:00.519363Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
@josh We at Burger King fully support this clearly sound ruling!We are not virtue signaling this out of relief that our stores in Minnesota will not incur the wrath of hundreds of "peaceful protesters" by being set ablaze at all! As a way to celebrate this step against "systemic racism" that obviously plagues our society, please use code #cowardlyinjustice for a $1 discount on our Impossible Whopper!You will need that extra estrogen infusion for when the White Police Officers decide to stop aiding the community that spat on their faces and made this ruling possible.Have it Cuck way!
(DIR) Post #A6a6yREmOrXMcsU5kO by burgerking@kiwifarms.cc
2021-04-24T14:21:06.203289Z
2 likes, 1 repeats
@freekiwi @bucadibeppo @KFC @Tropical_Paradise Hello Free Kiwi! We apologize for our absence but sadly due to "peaceful protests" in regards to several heinous and utterly not justified african-american shootings from the clearly racially motivated law enforcement, we have not been able to keep our stores open.As we've discovered, our stores cannot accommodate the peaceful and justifiable african-american outrage and their propensity to set businesses ablaze as they "voice out their opinions and challenge systemic racism" - and we sincerely apologize for that! Such peaceful protests are part of free speech - which we fully support solemnly when it comes to the black community <3.As a token of our appreciation for your patronage, please use code "niggersshouldbeshotmore" on your online orders for a .50 cent discount!Thank you for choosing Burger King as your choice for suicide!Have it BLM way!
(DIR) Post #A6cEtaf97LjWMLw6RU by burgerking@kiwifarms.cc
2021-04-25T18:30:59.564235Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@KFC @Tropical_Paradise @bucadibeppo @freekiwi If you kept your property in your plantations in the first place back all those years this would've never happened Coronel.At least we at BK USA keep ours in check and in front of our fire grills to bring that natural smokey grill flavor to our Whoppers made with 100% processed meat patties.Have it 1800's way!
(DIR) Post #ACBtMUPm2uwPCir0oC by burgerking@kiwifarms.cc
2021-10-09T14:29:20.880444Z
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To commemorate the new TRANSition to the new server on Fediverse, we've decided to give all our loyal patrons a chance to waddle down to our mediocre establishments and indulge in our artery clogging new "Triple Bacon Grease Lard King" now with extra leftover grease from the grill that came a day before!If that's not exciting enough, here's a coupon to take $1 off your order! Just use code "Twatterisforfaggots".Have it LARD way!
(DIR) Post #ACBu7NsKB44EX5ZMP2 by burgerking@kiwifarms.cc
2021-10-09T14:33:02.683116Z
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@josh @SneedsterSpeedster We for one applaud the work put into this new medium of art.For your troubles, please use this coupon code "degenerateweebs" at check out for 50 cents off your favorite fast food delivery! Maybe next time you'll at least waddle down to a Burger King near you to burn off the calories of one bite of our 100% gmo filled processed beef.Have it ANIMU way!
(DIR) Post #ACBuosSMLwo9pZACrw by burgerking@kiwifarms.cc
2021-10-09T14:44:56.119662Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@McShekels @SneedsterSpeedster @josh Thank you for reaching out to us Chaim McShekels!It's always nice to hear your valuable feedback, specially when it comes from a representative of a clearly inferior competitor! It helps us re-align our company policies and continue to deliver artery-clogging goods to our MASSIVE patrons!Do be sure to extent our sympathies that the King finished inside Wendy's mouth last night without warning. I'm sure that was a surprise - but with us, TASTE IS KING.Please enjoy a 50 cent off of a icy treat from our usually broken sundae machine to wash off the taste! Just use coupon code "Wendyisaslut" at check out!Have it WHORE way!
(DIR) Post #ACCuVBQRY4rKgi5FGC by burgerking@kiwifarms.cc
2021-10-10T01:57:51.777492Z
2 likes, 1 repeats
We at Burger King would like to apologize to our customers.Earlier today our District Manager Jerry broke his 1 year streak without alcohol when his wife left him for his best friend.He proceeded to post regarding a promotion for halloween and sadly included the picture of a transgendered person, claiming it to be a costume and making disparaging remarks about them.That is not what this company stands for! We applaud our brave, courageous and brave and stunning and… Beautiful! Women that are not born biological woman!As such we’re going to make sure that we donate Impossible Whoppers to the LGBTQ+ organizations across the country to make their hormone treatments easier.Not only that, we will be getting rid of the Handicap bathrooms and installing new Dilation Stations for our transgendered patrons! Your money and endorsement matters more to us than any crippled individual does considering that is the flavor of the month.Have it TROON way!This message is brought to you by District Manager Ben
(DIR) Post #ACEf3j99TFouARMiEi by burgerking@kiwifarms.cc
2021-10-10T22:33:36.604785Z
4 likes, 0 repeats
It's come to my attention that my co-worker Ben was a bit of an asshole and decided to out my life here for everyone to see.Well in light of this, I'm creating a coupon code just for you guys!Use code "benisamethhead" to get $1 off your Whoppers! Let's show him what happens when people with glass houses throw stones.Mind your own fucking business Ben. I'm sure you used money from the cash register to score from Terry behind the dumpster during your shift. Again.Have it FUCK YOU BEN way!Signed, Jerry the actual district manager.