Posts by batkaren@mastodon.online
(DIR) Post #AlHIznK1OAk22yi61A by batkaren@mastodon.online
2024-08-24T02:31:29Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
A new doctor patient data form asked for a list of medical issues and *REASONS*, so I just kept filling in THIS WORLD’S GOD IS VENGEFUL.
(DIR) Post #An5NgXzhMqPsrqcrNg by batkaren@mastodon.online
2024-10-17T03:01:36Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
You’d think Republicans were into communism given how much they want to seize the means of reproduction.
(DIR) Post #AnK2HLEcUAlKOC8y8W by batkaren@mastodon.online
2024-10-24T01:44:27Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
By age 35, your 500-foot burial pyramid should already be 80% complete.
(DIR) Post #AoZfxZ2hC7DlbcrhjM by batkaren@mastodon.online
2024-11-30T06:23:42Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
Turns out Krampus reproduces asexually, cloning itself every 80 or so years, with the elder dying during the spawning process.The urge to harm naughty children is instinctual.
(DIR) Post #At8gp9OvcFZWEvWffU by batkaren@mastodon.online
2025-04-15T11:48:00Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
"WAIT…I THOUGHT A BALLERINA WAS JUST A SMALL BALLER," I shout to be heard over the Tchaikovsky.
(DIR) Post #AtOSTFWYSrTkYxZ8y0 by batkaren@mastodon.online
2024-12-01T04:48:47Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
“…In conclusion, those thicc thighs and beefy ass lead me to theorize Godzilla possesses more dark than white meat. Any questions?” I ask the clearly impressed dissertation committee.
(DIR) Post #AtTLcvUQ4xeXQz2AGu by batkaren@mastodon.online
2025-04-17T23:29:09Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
Public television is a critical part of our community, providing free news, arts, science, kids’ programming, history, documentaries, and entertainment. Tell elected officials how important this service is to you and to your neighbors.https://protectmypublicmedia.org/urge-congress-email/ #ProtectMyPublicMedia
(DIR) Post #AtTLd1HAZ8cRNcsfS4 by batkaren@mastodon.online
2025-04-26T00:35:28Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
The vote to defund public media is on Monday. The link below sends letters to your congresspeople telling them to maintain this funding (only $1.60 per person per year).
(DIR) Post #Ath3BG0NPFhJyjIcIC by batkaren@mastodon.online
2025-05-02T17:33:16Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
How could I possibly trust AI with important shit when I can’t even text “oh god Jill Sobule died in a house fire!” without my phone suggesting I add a flame emoji?!
(DIR) Post #AtnvahAoKukiBTUJc0 by batkaren@mastodon.online
2025-05-05T23:25:24Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
You know? I don't care what Man-At-Arms says—I think you totally pull off that hat.
(DIR) Post #AubAEdxpDB9CeU2Yk4 by batkaren@mastodon.online
2025-05-29T17:10:04Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
The fact that queer kids are never indoctrinated into straightness from reading about countless hetero relationships, but the mere whisper of the word gay instantly grooms straight kids for homosexual lifestyles really just goes to show how fabulous it is being queer.
(DIR) Post #AvDHctPCvfqazyYkgC by batkaren@mastodon.online
2025-06-17T02:11:14Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
Kinda nuts how no one has any hopes or dreams anymore, and we all just shuffle along, struggling to maintain the least shitty outcome possible.
(DIR) Post #Ayok9dd6GvvZJY6jdA by batkaren@mastodon.online
2025-10-03T01:52:34Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
no more current events, please
(DIR) Post #B0A6VWizP6TEGI6sTo by batkaren@mastodon.online
2025-11-11T17:56:23Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
“I’ll just slip into something more comfortable,” I say, walking into the ocean.
(DIR) Post #B1FsHSrAW6xobeeAoS by batkaren@mastodon.online
2025-12-14T20:19:07Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
Why is it becoming harder to get into a voting booth than it is to own a gun?
(DIR) Post #B1a5LknZCfuoRbI7bE by batkaren@mastodon.online
2023-12-24T22:59:41Z
2 likes, 1 repeats
Baker reporting for sleigh duty
(DIR) Post #B1a5Lpo6a6Jhyia7dI by batkaren@mastodon.online
2023-12-27T00:40:28Z
1 likes, 2 repeats
Some outtakes
(DIR) Post #B1rcJiEGNxbi4RjPHs by batkaren@mastodon.online
2026-01-02T04:43:06Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
I just want one pic of me in 2026 that’s half as flattering as this.
(DIR) Post #B1yIEeaNriGcLZ6l5k by batkaren@mastodon.online
2026-01-05T02:09:04Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
We fled, taking shelter in a Before Times roller rink.Inside, the zombie horde slow-skating in a loop stopped and turned to look at us, collectively changing direction under the twinkling disco ball as Flock of Seagulls skipped over the PA system.
(DIR) Post #B28SEZcnvkS38UkvnE by batkaren@mastodon.online
2026-01-10T03:24:51Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
Sadly, we must live in the apocalypse we’re dealt, never the one we desire.