Posts by VeryBadLlama@mas.to
(DIR) Post #AdJXOkh4R3RqY1nTiS by VeryBadLlama@mas.to
2023-12-29T20:06:58Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
I love reading about the lives of 19th and 20th century writers because it always goes something like "he lived in abject poverty, barely covering the upkeep on his 3-bedroom townhouse in the city by selling two magazine stories per year"
(DIR) Post #Ahaix16EejaQJ7fkX2 by VeryBadLlama@mas.to
2024-05-05T17:15:05Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
on second thought, I choose TWO bears
(DIR) Post #AhhI2dkd2ZwsyVk5xY by VeryBadLlama@mas.to
2024-05-08T22:31:23Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
I have eaten the brainthat was inRFK Jrand whichhe was probablysavingto run for President forgive me it was deliciousand I am just a worm
(DIR) Post #Ahtaa2jjIPNj5tv0To by VeryBadLlama@mas.to
2024-05-14T15:03:35Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
I’ve been in Paris for 72 hours and I regret to report that walking 16,000 steps per day and complaining about things over 2-hour lunch breaks has immediately fixed my entire life
(DIR) Post #AhxOJfpYGqnkbKuRqS by VeryBadLlama@mas.to
2024-03-01T21:59:50Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
dear diary, it has been 437 days since my husband disappeared under mysterious circumstances. alas, I am unable to inform the police, for I am a mere woman.
(DIR) Post #AiXutKzo5iY2FxZdTc by VeryBadLlama@mas.to
2024-06-02T23:18:51Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
my elderly Egyptian Uber driver happily informed me that he “supports the gays now” because he lives with a lesbian couple and “the husband lesbian is a better husband than I was”, happy pride everyone
(DIR) Post #AjTLjWAMweFBjeMnS4 by VeryBadLlama@mas.to
2024-06-30T14:58:49Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
you don't become old on your 30th birthday, you become old the first time you scroll past a high school picture of your friend on social media and then realize, with creeping horror, that you are actually looking at a recent photo of their teenage child
(DIR) Post #AjVktmIsgiXrqmG0Tw by VeryBadLlama@mas.to
2024-07-02T03:45:55Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
strange women lying in ponds distributing swords actually sounds like a pretty decent alternative right now
(DIR) Post #AjwQUOs2v9EwkVUZRg by VeryBadLlama@mas.to
2024-07-15T00:20:13Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
when my grandkids ask me what it was like to be alive in the 2020s I’m going to get up and leave the house and quietly walk into the mist
(DIR) Post #AkaD1Uar2PJ71DjWnQ by VeryBadLlama@mas.to
2024-08-03T01:21:23Z
2 likes, 1 repeats
"childless woman" is such a 19th-century-ass insult. what else you got. do I render inferior tallow? do my cabbages grow pale and blemished? does the quality of my sock-darning bring shame upon my father's name?
(DIR) Post #AkaD1WrwZqAK4nkCi8 by VeryBadLlama@mas.to
2024-08-03T01:21:53Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
the last one is a trick question, it is impossible to bring shame upon the name "Jean-Paul"
(DIR) Post #AkgqAyHd5Cjarq0lLE by VeryBadLlama@mas.to
2024-08-06T01:43:31Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
Harris: we need to come together as a countryTrump: the Mexicans want asylum, they're breaking into our mental hospitalsRFK Jr: in October of 1998 I left a jar of human eyes in the fiction section of a Borders bookstore in Philadelphia
(DIR) Post #AvPMgH4bGphXJorOFc by VeryBadLlama@mas.to
2025-06-23T01:30:03Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
I knew I would eventually get old enough to watch history repeat itself but I was sort of hoping I would be older than 32 at the time
(DIR) Post #AvPMgNF6KhfMS7orS4 by VeryBadLlama@mas.to
2025-06-23T01:30:32Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
“gather ‘round, children, and I shall tell you a tale from my girlhood, in a long-ago time we called 2003”
(DIR) Post #AvRa4LIqTILI6J5Gxk by VeryBadLlama@mas.to
2025-06-24T00:09:06Z
1 likes, 1 repeats
microdosing a European vacation by walking 23,000 steps in shoes that aren’t really meant for it and then eating a piece of cheese outdoors
(DIR) Post #AvRiZLiRml8lzYM59k by VeryBadLlama@mas.to
2025-06-24T03:45:32Z
4 likes, 3 repeats
as a child I thought it was wildly unrealistic that Sims would immediately give up on all their goals and dreams if a single dirty plate was left on the ground but now that I’m an adult I understand that that was the most realistic part of the game
(DIR) Post #AvTHGucZTXvkIfVirY by VeryBadLlama@mas.to
2025-06-24T23:05:42Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
Bianca figured out she’s on a road trip and she’s not super stoked about the idea
(DIR) Post #AyJlHXOcbLFSwEHTOa by VeryBadLlama@mas.to
2025-09-18T01:32:02Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
when I have to pretend I’m not sheltering John Oliver in my basement but the authorities can hear him yelling about rat erotica through the floorboards
(DIR) Post #AyeecNf8AstCsvmRuq by VeryBadLlama@mas.to
2025-09-28T01:44:01Z
0 likes, 2 repeats
daily Chinese news headline: Scientists grow the world’s first functional human spine replacement from a single drop of blooddaily American news headline: White House declares that sunburns are caused by bees
(DIR) Post #Azqkl7xyyVLJMcLBlw by VeryBadLlama@mas.to
2025-11-02T21:31:18Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
5pm on November 1: let’s go for a walk, it’s still light out!5pm on November 2: an early darkness blankets the land. Fallow fields lay bone-bleached by moonlight. The last memories of summer fade into oblivion. The last echoes of hope lapse into baleful silence.