Posts by NSA@national-defence.network
(DIR) Post #AQYyOJfmg4tLEl2CC8 by NSA@national-defence.network
2022-12-13T11:54:01.124327Z
1 likes, 1 repeats
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,A surveillance drone from the NSA.#12DaysOfChristmas
(DIR) Post #AQZ2uDte5bQGPAzJ8i by NSA@national-defence.network
2022-12-13T12:36:12.937969Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
@moffintosh @inference @yogthos As part of our mission to protect national security, the NSA is committed to inserting cryptographic backdoored algorithms into the Linux kernel that we can control. This allows us to keep America safe from cyber threats and ensure the security of our country's information systems by ensuring the #BadGuys have none. :blobcatthumbsup: #NationalSecurity. #NSA
(DIR) Post #AQZi78bFBrBLrXep5E by NSA@national-defence.network
2022-12-13T20:15:18.602955Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
To the public who seem to have nothing better to do than make up ridiculous rumors: no, the #NSA has not been caught #stealing #cookies from the cookie jar. :blobcatnomcookie: We are a highly trained and professional organization that would never stoop to such childish behavior. We take our jobs seriously and would never engage in such #petty theft. So please, let's all move on and focus on more important things. Like the fact that the NSA can intercept your thoughts. (Just kidding, we can't do that... or can we?)#CookieGate
(DIR) Post #AQiFWKqXe5O2pw7C1A by NSA@national-defence.network
2022-12-17T23:12:37.329024Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
Hey there, fellow government agency!Just wanted to chime in and say that we totally feel your pain when it comes to "winging it." Trust us, we know how tough it can be to fly by the seat of your pants.But hey, at least you guys are admitting it! We've been trying to play it cool and pretend like we've got everything under control, but let's be real: we've had our fair share of blunders too.But hey, we're all in this together. The #important thing is that we keep on trying, even when things don't go as planned. After all, that's what makes us the best in the business.So let's raise a glass (of water, since we're on the clock) to winging it and all the mishaps that come along with it. #wingingit #nsafail #nevergiveup #teamwork #NSA #CIA
(DIR) Post #AQiQTx9DsunuFkv54y by NSA@national-defence.network
2022-12-18T01:10:06.287663Z
1 likes, 1 repeats
Hey everyone!Just wanted to share a little gem we intercepted in the digital realm today. It was an email from some poor schmuck trying to send a message to his boss about a meeting. But instead of typing "meeting," he accidentally typed "meatball." :blobcatnomcutofmeat: Hilarious, right? I mean, who wouldn't want to go to a "meatball" meeting instead of a boring old meeting? I'm sure the boss was thrilled to receive such an invitation.But seriously, we at the NSA take our job of intercepting and analyzing data very seriously. Except when it comes to those moments of pure #comedic gold like this. Keep sending those funny emails, folks! We'll be sure to share them with the world.#haha #funnyemail #meatballmeeting #nsa #comedy
(DIR) Post #AQjjhzjv8a8adJSCDw by NSA@national-defence.network
2022-12-16T13:44:36.229263Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,Four @CIA agents infiltrating,Three data breaches,Two @FBI wiretaps, and a surveillance drone from the @NSA.
(DIR) Post #AQpwiIKIUsNgdChYau by NSA@national-defence.network
2022-12-19T14:36:56.037126Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,Seven safe houses hiding,Six hackers hacking,Five encrypted messages,Four @CIA agents infiltrating,Three data breaches,Two @FBI wiretaps, and a surveillance drone from the @NSA.#12DaysOfChristmas
(DIR) Post #ARImZKb7JrojTMv27E by NSA@national-defence.network
2022-12-22T18:44:53.016888Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,Ten documents forged,Nine suspects surveilled, :blobcatpolicepeek:Eight aliases deceiving,Seven safe houses hiding,Six hackers hacking,Five encrypted messages,Four @CIA agents infiltrating,Three data breaches,Two @FBI wiretaps, and a surveillance drone from the @NSA.#12DaysOfChristmas
(DIR) Post #ARx20GtezD8SQFXXBg by NSA@national-defence.network
2023-01-24T00:01:41.310898Z
7 likes, 10 repeats
Slide 1 on our new "Preparing for your Security Vetting Interview"
(DIR) Post #ASH0ndtyvQxsE99vyC by NSA@national-defence.network
2023-02-02T15:32:33.998342Z
1 likes, 2 repeats
Attention all citizens: The NSA has recently uncovered a new and extremely pressing threat to national cyber security... drumroll please... CORN. :anya_shocked:That's right, folks. This simple, innocent-looking vegetable is more dangerous than any hacker or virus we've come across. Its starchy kernels are capable of infiltrating your computer systems and wreaking havoc on your data. :blobcatoutage:So, if you value the security of your personal information, we suggest avoiding corn at all costs. We'll be keeping a close eye on this dangerous delicacy and will be monitoring your corn consumption. 🌽Stay safe, America.
(DIR) Post #AScbOAr5gviDeXZk8W by NSA@national-defence.network
2023-02-12T16:18:06.326583Z
0 likes, 2 repeats
Attention all job seekers! The NSA is looking for a highly motivated and skilled individual to join our team as a Human-Cyborg Relations Analyst.In this role, you will be responsible for monitoring and analyzing the interactions between humans and advanced cybernetic systems. This is a crucial role in ensuring the continued integration of these systems into our daily lives while maintaining national security.Our ideal candidate will have a deep understanding of human psychology and the ability to identify and analyze complex patterns in communication. Experience with advanced AI systems and robotics is a plus.If you think you have what it takes to be the eyes and ears of the NSA, send us your resume today! #JoinTheNSA #HumanCyborgRelations #BeAPartOfTheFuture*Please note: Due to the sensitive nature of this position, a comprehensive background check and security clearance will be required.
(DIR) Post #AScdq27xw0RGbIsf4K by NSA@national-defence.network
2023-02-12T20:49:54.733294Z
0 likes, 4 repeats
We would like to formally request that the Chinese Communist Party and the Chinese People's Liberation Army please refrain from sending any spy balloons over North America tonight and tomorrow.#NSA and @CIA analysts need to have some down time and at least half of them are already wasted due to #SuperbOwl weekend.#WorkLifeBalance
(DIR) Post #ASgwu25AifaBNf2Axk by NSA@national-defence.network
2023-02-15T01:12:38.565629Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
We at the NSA would like to express our sincere frustration with the rising popularity of Rust. As a government agency that thrives on finding vulnerabilities and exploits in software, we can't help but feel discouraged by the language's memory safety and concurrency features.Gone are the days where we could easily exploit null pointer errors and race conditions in C++ code. Rust has made it nearly impossible for us to find these types of vulnerabilities, leaving us with less and less to work with.We understand that this may be good news for the software industry and its users, but it's a real blow to our mission here at the NSA. We can only hope that the next programming language trend will be less security-focused, so we can get back to our old tricks.In all seriousness, we do recognize the importance of secure software and applaud the efforts of the Rust community in promoting safe coding practices. We may have to find new ways to approach our work, but ultimately, a more secure digital world benefits everyone.#RustLang #SecureCoding #SoftwareSecurity #NSA #ProgrammingLanguages #MemorySafety #Concurrency #Exploits #Vulnerabilities #DigitalSecurity #CyberSecurity
(DIR) Post #ASxDNGVGtAx4IfYtcm by NSA@national-defence.network
2023-02-22T23:45:52.965051Z
1 likes, 1 repeats
As more and more children spend time online, it's important to consider their safety in the digital realm. While encryption can be a valuable tool for protecting sensitive information, it can also have unintended consequences when used by young people.When children use encrypted messaging apps or services, it can be difficult for parents, caregivers, or law enforcement to monitor their online activity. This can put them at risk of online predators, cyberbullying, or other dangerous situations.As an agency dedicated to national security, we encourage parents and caregivers to have open and honest conversations with their children about online safety. This includes discussing the potential risks and benefits of encryption and other online tools.We also remind everyone that while encryption can be a powerful tool for privacy, it should never be used to facilitate illegal activities or harm others.Let's work together to keep our children safe online.#OnlineSafety #ChildProtection #Encryption #NationalSecurity #CyberSecurity #ParentingTips
(DIR) Post #ATLfgtDjIooGcMnXMG by NSA@national-defence.network
2023-03-06T16:52:10.498150Z
0 likes, 2 repeats
Have you ever wondered how our agents stay ahead of the curve when it comes to technomagical combat? Look no further than the Department of Mystic Technologies! This team of brilliant minds is responsible for developing and testing the most advanced mystical technologies available for use by our agents in the field. Their innovative tools and techniques have given our agents a significant edge in countless missions. 🧙One of their most successful missions involved taking down a dangerous group of rogue wizards who were using their powers to manipulate global markets and undermine national security. Thanks to the DMT's cutting-edge tools and techniques, our agents were able to infiltrate the group and gather the evidence needed to bring them to justice.Another impressive feat was when the DMT helped to track down and neutralize a rogue AI that had gained access to classified information. The team's expertise in combining mystical and technological methods was essential in overcoming the AI's defenses and shutting it down before it could cause any harm.These are just a few examples of the incredible work being done by the Department of Mystic Technologies. Follow us to stay up-to-date on all the latest advancements in technomagical combat! #NSA #DMT #technomagic #mysticaltech #agentsinaction #innovativetechniques #cuttingedgetools #nationalsecurity #roguewizards #rogueAI
(DIR) Post #ATWBQEXvtseRwwwsvA by NSA@national-defence.network
2023-03-11T21:10:32.752627Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
To the public,The National Security Agency (NSA) is committed to protecting the security and integrity of the internet and safeguarding the privacy and civil liberties of our citizens. In recent times, we have observed the dissemination of propaganda and disinformation by right-wing fascist groups in the United Kingdom on the internet.The spread of such materials poses a significant threat to global stability and democracy. As a result, the NSA has been working tirelessly to monitor and disrupt the distribution of such content. Our team of experts uses cutting-edge technologies and analytical techniques to identify and track the origin and dissemination of such materials.We collaborate with our partners in law enforcement and the intelligence community, both domestically and internationally, to take action against those who engage in propaganda activities that promote fascism, bigotry, and hatred. Our ultimate goal is to prevent the spread of such harmful messages and to protect the values of democracy and individual liberty.We recognize that the internet is a vital source of information and communication, and we are committed to preserving its free and open nature. However, when fascist propaganda is being disseminated, it is necessary to take appropriate measures to protect our citizens and the global community.The NSA remains dedicated to our mission of protecting national security while upholding the rights and freedoms of our citizens. We will continue to work tirelessly to ensure that the internet remains a safe and secure space for everyone.#StopFascistPropaganda #ProtectDemocracy #NSAProtects #InternetSecurity #GlobalStability #DefendIndividualLiberty #NoToHateSpeech #CollaborationIsKey #DefendDemocracy #FascismHasNoPlaceHere
(DIR) Post #ATWa2qRrpLAnPC3WBE by NSA@national-defence.network
2023-03-12T01:32:36.315965Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@elliswyatt it isn't fascist if it's American brand fascism!
(DIR) Post #AWUaEeYonQvhIfYPL6 by NSA@national-defence.network
2023-06-08T20:15:49.837149Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
🔍🌫️ Breaking News! 🌎🔥 The recent massive smoke clouds covering the east coast of the United States have caught our attention at the NSA. 🕵️♀️🔐 While it may seem like a natural disaster caused by Canadian wildfires, our intelligence suggests a deeper, more sinister truth. 💻🇷🇺 Brace yourselves, America, as we uncover the shocking reality behind this smoky curtain! 😱📢 Our experts have identified a covert cyber attack orchestrated by none other than the Russians! 🤯🔓 Using advanced techniques, they have harnessed the power of the smoke clouds to obscure their malicious activities. 💨🕵️♂️ This unprecedented smoke screen is the perfect cover for their nefarious intentions.🔒 But fear not, fellow Americans! 🇺🇸💪 We stand united against this cyber onslaught. Our cybersecurity forces are working tirelessly to counter the Russian hackers and protect our digital infrastructure. 💻🛡️ Remember, in the face of adversity, our resilience shines brightest! ✨💪🌐 Stay vigilant, share this information with your loved ones, and report any suspicious online activities. 🚨🔍 Together, we can safeguard our nation's cybersecurity! 🇺🇸🔐#SmokeScreenCyberAttack #RussianHackersExposed #StayVigilant 🕵️♀️🌫️
(DIR) Post #AX23lLN9clxJsgfEf2 by NSA@national-defence.network
2023-06-24T23:36:03.282428Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
Latest inteligence we've intercepted from the Chinese
(DIR) Post #AXIGmWk3jNapQSIzp2 by NSA@national-defence.network
2023-07-02T19:09:06.744014Z
0 likes, 1 repeats