Posts by MiseryTrickery@mstdn.party
(DIR) Post #AW8jo5wy3K7TbanJvE by MiseryTrickery@mstdn.party
2023-04-20T21:40:36Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
"I speak for the trees" the Lorax whispers to himself as he watches a lumber company executive through the scope of a rifle
(DIR) Post #AWDgNCzlwu4YS5J0Hg by MiseryTrickery@mstdn.party
2022-12-13T14:18:04Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
How your email finds me
(DIR) Post #AWEILa3R2dPreCfZLc by MiseryTrickery@mstdn.party
2023-05-31T19:53:16Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
First Infomercial for Doors: "THERE HAS TO BE A BETTER WAY!"
(DIR) Post #AWSfZTxZW2LxxTxoci by MiseryTrickery@mstdn.party
2023-06-07T18:56:50Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
I'll contribute to your daily internet timesink by posting, but I'll keep it brief, and not drag it out, by making unnecessary additional additions to what I have already said, such as this, or this, or even this one, or this other thing, this will be airtight, and well edited, no meandering digressions, or pointless rambling
(DIR) Post #AWnaAvcYHVBnvHlRtA by MiseryTrickery@mstdn.party
2023-06-13T12:08:55Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
Sorry, I couldn't possibly switch from Shampoo+Conditioner to Shampoo and a Conditioner, my morning routine is basically airtight, and that would cut into my valuable, sitting on the edge of the bed with one sock on while I dissociate, time
(DIR) Post #AWvN6U6ysDfDJ5E9uC by MiseryTrickery@mstdn.party
2023-06-21T01:15:49Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
Never ask anyone eating their meal directly out of a pot on the stove how their day was
(DIR) Post #AWxWZEFAEHmpB0hc5g by MiseryTrickery@mstdn.party
2023-06-20T23:35:16Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
The biggest similarity between horror movies and my life is mostly the struggle to correctly manipulate door locks
(DIR) Post #AWxWxbyReUohj0Vbwu by MiseryTrickery@mstdn.party
2023-05-23T01:11:10Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
Marriage is a sacred bond between two people, one of whom is telling a story, the other who is trying to remember who Dave is in this context
(DIR) Post #AXI3FjricOG7AQvI9o by MiseryTrickery@mstdn.party
2023-06-28T22:35:10Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
This picture smells like petrichor, moldering wood, and five generations of cannibalistic murder
(DIR) Post #AXITG6WEzSikEaiC4u by MiseryTrickery@mstdn.party
2023-04-13T21:50:16Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
There's really not a funeral appropriate way to un-velcro your shoes
(DIR) Post #AXIjC9UvZVhDa6EdPc by MiseryTrickery@mstdn.party
2023-05-27T00:37:44Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
Hug your loved ones, hold them close, for that extra moment or two, life is short, and you may never get another chance to take their wallet
(DIR) Post #AXLZSt5DREUpWlQhIO by MiseryTrickery@mstdn.party
2022-11-18T16:40:30Z
1 likes, 2 repeats
Nobody will remember:- Your salary- How you worked nights- How stressed you were- How you never missed a dayPeople will remember: - when you showed up with a bomb- locked them in the board room - ziptied them to a chair- forced them to read your manifesto aloud
(DIR) Post #AXMs1Q7Z6SWUAh6YBE by MiseryTrickery@mstdn.party
2023-01-09T15:12:17Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
In all of literature there are only three timeless stories: Love, Death, and Raccoon Fight
(DIR) Post #AXNzzE7FlC5l9PNqTo by MiseryTrickery@mstdn.party
2023-07-05T13:54:38Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts Lord of Darkness Party incredibly surprised when their support brings about Reign of Night
(DIR) Post #AXQzz3NTs0xyc86v4K by MiseryTrickery@mstdn.party
2023-06-04T14:52:11Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
Me: *pulling off my shirt to track my progress since the last time I had a picture taken*The guy behind the counter at the DMV: "Please stop"
(DIR) Post #AXTaszsG4KDQd9OxTU by MiseryTrickery@mstdn.party
2023-07-05T16:19:31Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
People changing instances here really fucks with my already shaky perception of object permanence
(DIR) Post #AXcQoiGhNx023VXAaO by MiseryTrickery@mstdn.party
2023-06-04T17:44:12Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
(DIR) Post #AXcRylevjVazQEE61w by MiseryTrickery@mstdn.party
2023-04-21T23:08:28Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
When you just changed the toner cartridge
(DIR) Post #AXcSCwQSV3J2rtDS0e by MiseryTrickery@mstdn.party
2023-04-15T19:58:24Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
Me, prepping to explain the idea of a serving size to my pets
(DIR) Post #AXjtL3t0hfJzByO2ls by MiseryTrickery@mstdn.party
2023-07-15T02:28:43Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
I was in the mosh pit for Rage Against the Machine's set in Atlanta for Lollapalooza '93, I explain to the cashier as I scroll my phone looking for my coupon for my preferred brand of heartburn medication