Posts by Merk_94@mastodon.social
(DIR) Post #AbLM9U4kWA1aE4JIYK by Merk_94@mastodon.social
2023-10-31T22:47:22Z
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@lowqualityfacts Good news: It's illegal for trick-or-treaters to vandalize your house for giving away recyclables.Bad news: It's going to happen anyway.
(DIR) Post #AbNHw7izMiZcTBExlI by Merk_94@mastodon.social
2023-11-01T21:09:41Z
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@lowqualityfacts Actually provably true, according to the laws of physics. Like all matter, mayo can't be created or destroyed. Only converted a different form of matter.
(DIR) Post #AbUDETlp017YOKDaIy by Merk_94@mastodon.social
2023-11-05T05:19:45Z
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@lowqualityfacts He experimented once with a third suit layer, but found it bulky and uncomfortable during the summer.
(DIR) Post #AbXCTzruQMXNo1mTKa by Merk_94@mastodon.social
2023-11-06T15:55:40Z
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@lowqualityfacts I’ll cover my body with them and ascend to godhood.
(DIR) Post #Abgib8twBWWknrouGW by Merk_94@mastodon.social
2023-11-11T06:07:59Z
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@lowqualityfacts Replace "God" with "Zeus" and Greek myths be like
(DIR) Post #AbjrXdvZ5HAt8UiqnI by Merk_94@mastodon.social
2023-11-12T18:32:20Z
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@lowqualityfacts I thought you were Ryan Reynolds.
(DIR) Post #AbyvXty1IzvzVEFTU0 by Merk_94@mastodon.social
2023-11-20T00:57:52Z
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@lowqualityfacts*listens to Thousand by Moby once**fucking dies of arrhythmia*
(DIR) Post #Acc9lGR6wktk4pne52 by Merk_94@mastodon.social
2023-12-08T23:10:53Z
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@lowqualityfacts Time was invented by the elites to help them more efficiently exploit the labor of the masses.Wake up, sheeple! Or don't! Live on your own schedule! But not because anyone else told you to!
(DIR) Post #AcgQvxM2hxjVvzx9BQ by Merk_94@mastodon.social
2023-12-11T00:42:11Z
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@lowqualityfacts I mean, if we want to get technical, Times Square already exists in every time zone, just not simultaneously. It's not as if it just disappears from reality the second it becomes 3:00 and stays gone until 4.
(DIR) Post #AciQtqIYMQl3mqEUUq by Merk_94@mastodon.social
2023-12-11T23:51:12Z
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@lowqualityfacts Do the smurfs get time to prepare for the fight? Because that might be tricky actually.I could ambush a village of smurfs and crush them easily. 50-on-1 in a fair fight? Doable, but challenging. If they have time to prepare specifically to fight me, that could prove problematic.
(DIR) Post #AcmcuV72aefYS6lfnM by Merk_94@mastodon.social
2023-12-14T00:24:34Z
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@lowqualityfacts
(DIR) Post #AcoAvJdSL3uWkIRxdQ by Merk_94@mastodon.social
2023-12-14T18:20:21Z
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@lowqualityfacts The other 98% want yours.
(DIR) Post #AcwEsXy3f9aqtk1A3c by Merk_94@mastodon.social
2023-12-18T15:42:29Z
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@lowqualityfacts I maintain we don’t need all 26. We only need to keep one out of C, K, and Q, because they are all the same letter, we can get rid of X because you can do the same job with “KS” or “Z”, depending on context, and any sound made by Y can be made by I or J instead.
(DIR) Post #AdPJaAUobtlNLdNEh6 by Merk_94@mastodon.social
2024-01-01T15:59:48Z
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@lowqualityfacts I didn't know Maxwell Lord was part of their marketing team.
(DIR) Post #AsORKPsIUi4ELbnmZU by Merk_94@mastodon.social
2025-03-24T22:14:47Z
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@Shinobufag I’m a simple man. I see Wheel of Fortune, I chance it, it fails, and I learn nothing from the experience.
(DIR) Post #Awpvq7kMwDDQI6PvRw by Merk_94@mastodon.social
2025-08-04T17:32:10Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
@lowqualityfacts I will make him watch as I slaughter his entire alarm-clock family.
(DIR) Post #B1gJsJs8tqiYnTc7OK by Merk_94@mastodon.social
2025-12-27T18:05:34Z
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@lowqualityfacts Actually, if you miss the moon, you are statistically unlikely to land anywhere. Due to Newton’s Third Law, your ship will simply continue on a straight trajectory out of the galaxy and never encounter any other galaxies.This, of course, will not be the pilot’s problem, as they will have been dead from starvation for millions of years before this happens.
(DIR) Post #B21H0FiCi6QzikWxtY by Merk_94@mastodon.social
2026-01-06T20:42:22Z
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@lowqualityfacts Who would win?Three refrigerators taped together? Or one sticky twink in a red and blue onesie?
(DIR) Post #B21H0Wo99GHyk6RS1A by Merk_94@mastodon.social
2026-01-06T20:42:22Z
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@lowqualityfacts Who would win?Three refrigerators taped together? Or one sticky twink in a red and blue onesie?
(DIR) Post #B246EgzBaTNcLG2KI4 by Merk_94@mastodon.social
2026-01-08T05:25:50Z
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@lowqualityfacts I knew it! (You just have big possum energy.)