Posts by KAOS@dragonscave.space
(DIR) Post #AKqlb8vrR0ShqBsprU by KAOS@dragonscave.space
2022-06-25T11:39:55Z
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The midwife had told me that there is usually a "main event" of bleeding after the tissue of the early-stage-placenta has detached itself from the uterus walls. This placenta-tissue will fold itself around the embryo and form one lengthy piece of tissue with it, but it won't come out yet; only lots of blood will. In some cases, this happens within just a few minutes, in other cases it takes hours. And it often happens during the night. Well, in my case, it happened on a Sunday during the day (12th week of pregnancy, technically) and went over the course of several hours. I was super-focused on myself and had very strong cramps. I watched Netflix to distract myself, but had to run to the toilet like every 20 mins. I should also mention that my midwife had advised me before to make sure that I won't be home alone during this main bleeding event, because you might loose so much blood that you need to get to the hospital and you might even pass out. It's hard to get an idea of the actual blood loss, though - which is why you should collect the pads in plastic bags and weigh them! (the pads themselves weigh almost nothing, but I'm a nerd and tried to be accurate about this task - it's not really necessary, though) When you lose something like 800 ml or more, you should head to the hospital. Which, of course, you might be afraid to do in a country that bans abortions, so there's another big health risk here. Fortunately, the blood loss was quite little in my case. Even though it was the most extreme I had ever experienced. And then the bleeding almost stopped - which is also the typical thing to happen.
(DIR) Post #AKqlbB0thFgAIOFszQ by KAOS@dragonscave.space
2022-06-25T12:03:33Z
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So there was almost no bleeding anymore. I felt very exhausted, physically, but okay. And in the late afternoon, I even went for a short walk and talked to my sister on the phone. (My partner worried that it might be too much, but I had a good sense of what would be okay for me.) It was all going it's way, and I am very glad the midwife had prepared me for everything that happened. I don't think I would have been able to deal with this without her support! I'm still very grateful for that and wish everyone could get this kind of support, but I'm fully aware this is sadly not the case. The next day (Monday, 12th week of pregnancy, technically), I think it was in the evening, the tissue came out. Miscarriages are sometimes called "little birth", and that is for a reason - because, as I mentioned before, the tissue forms a lenghty lump that won't just come out unnoticed, but it is accompanied with cramps and I had to press it out a little bit. Which was followed by a release of hormones that made me feel very relieved and even euphoric, if not to say high. The midwife had advised me to collect this lump in a plastic box, so that she could have a look at it and see if it's complete, or if tissue had remained in the uterus that would have to be removed surgically. And also because people who just flush it away often seem to regret it later. Many like to bury the tissue, apparently. To be honest, I found this to be a super disgusting experience. I mean, it was somehow okay, but I definitely didn't like doing it. Other than many might think (and like I used to think...), you don't see the embryo itself. Because, like mentioned, the early-stage-placenta-tissue is folded around the embryo, so you only see a lengthy lump with a quite unique surface structure.
(DIR) Post #AKqlbDpJEnBz1JrAqO by KAOS@dragonscave.space
2022-06-25T12:28:23Z
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I sent my midwife a picture of the lump and she said it looked like from a medical textbook and was definitely complete, so I didn't have anything to worry about. I didn't want to bury the tissue - this embryo had not even been close to becoming a human being, in my understanding - , but after one day or so I put it in the organic waste bin, because that was what felt right for me. (Btw, I generally think that letting something rot just makes it a part of the circle of life again, so this has a rather positive connotation for me.) Due to the hormones, I felt not only relieved, but also proud of myself that I managed to get through this on my own. That is something that you won't get when you have a (wanted) pregnancy surgically removed because of a missed abortion - you might then feel that not only didn't your body fail to be pregnant, but like it didn't even manage to "end it properly". Those were thoughts that I also had at first, but that stopped when I went through this whole miscarriage process. Even though I was very sad about the embryo not being viable, at least my faith in my body's reproductive abilities had been fully restored. (Hope you can understand what I mean.) The next day, I had another appointment with my doctor (scheduled 1.5 weeks before, when she thought it wouldn't all take that long...). She listened to my report of the events and make another ultrasound to make sure there really was no tissue left in the uterus, and it was indeed all fine. She (as well as the midwife had) explained to me that I would still have light bleeding & discharge of wound secretion for another week, and still should only use pads. (I think it was actually a little less than a whole week for me.)
(DIR) Post #AKqlbFfoN4mckRQcJk by KAOS@dragonscave.space
2022-06-25T12:42:31Z
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With that, the physical part of the miscarriage was over. I had excellent care and support, which was only the case because I live in a country where almost everyone has access to good health care and where abortion laws are at least okayish (still reasons to fight for better, though!) and allow this care to happen, and also because my personal situation is pretty good. Let's remember that miscarriages are not rare at all - they happen a lot. And most people having miscarriages or abortions will unfortunately not get the help and support that I had. The least would be that they should be provided all the information they need, but even that can be hard to get. So something that we can do is protest for better laws, but also provide information and support if we are able to, and help making abortion and miscarriage less of a taboo.
(DIR) Post #AKqlbIS62WaxMm2CrA by KAOS@dragonscave.space
2022-06-25T13:12:01Z
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It wasn't over for me mentally, of course. That took months. And while it's possible to get pregnant again right away, I didn't want to. I assume that it's much easier to get over it when you didn't want to be pregnant in the first place. But with a wanted pregnancy it can definitely be pretty hard, emotionally. Annoying was that when I shared it with a small circle in an online community, one of them gave me his condolences, just as if someone had died (guess that person's nationality and political stance, if you want 🙄 ). I was not sad about a person dying, I was sad about the death of an idea and of a plan what my life would be like. I told relatively many people about the miscarriage, and already during the process I looked for a way to mourn this pregnancy. With the help and advice of a friend who is a sculptor, I then build a kind of Jizō sculpture over the next two months. (see: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%E1%B9%A3itigarbha#Japanese_traditions ) Even though I am not religious at all, it feels good to have this statue as a symbol and a place of remembrance. My statue is made out of concrete (the process of crafting it consisted of several steps, don't want to go into detail here) and about 30 cm high. It stands in a garden with a little cabin that is owned by my parents. At the same time, I had a deep longing for celebrating my freedom, for partying, for sex, for drugs. (That was during lockdown time though. haha. 🙄 So I barely acted on this desire at all.) I was not in a good state for months, but still mostly okay and also not depressed or so, it just was a somewhat hard and intensive time. I thought a lot about myself and realized some things about my personality that I hadn't been fully aware of before. I thought a lot about my friendships and relationships and contacted a few older friends again. In the end, some good things have been growing from this crisis.
(DIR) Post #ALD7O1SbCpiiPBrqYC by KAOS@dragonscave.space
2022-07-06T09:30:52Z
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@realcaseyrollins @catswhocode I can't stand coffee, only like tea, I suck at rappingso this song ends here for me. 😛
(DIR) Post #ALh6jTKc0wHzzXCkhE by KAOS@dragonscave.space
2022-07-20T20:44:50Z
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@Rasp Could someone help and write an image description for this post? I'm quite tired right now, so I'd be glad if someone else would do it.
(DIR) Post #ANNofZ2Tprs5hKoEXw by KAOS@dragonscave.space
2022-09-09T09:07:05Z
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@JonathanMBR Years ago, I used to be able to differentiate between all the different kinds of gazelles, because I was active on Zooniverse (citizen science) and helped to classify animals on pictures from cameras in the Serengeti park. But I must admit, since then I completely forgot again which one is which. I just remember that one species (wasn't that Thompson's?) hat a black stripe on the side. And another important sign were these black stripes on the gazelles' behinds (like in your picture). And some (male impalas?) had these beautifully curved horns. But well.. Pretty much all my knowledge from back then is gone. 🤷♀️
(DIR) Post #ANZ4tEb6ORPfBoPKCG by KAOS@dragonscave.space
2022-09-14T19:30:39Z
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@JonathanMBR Good to know she's safe and well. - - I don't want to think of all those other people who live in Saudi Arabia under worst, often slave-like conditions.
(DIR) Post #ANkTO5zelioMY3SieG by KAOS@dragonscave.space
2022-09-20T07:27:03Z
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@JonathanMBR Uganda?! Oops. Hope it'll be contained soon.
(DIR) Post #AO3dqC3IEI7QoZzy4G by KAOS@dragonscave.space
2022-09-29T13:23:38Z
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@fsf Image description of the book cover: An tall, slim, elderly white dude with glasses and an annoyed look on his face looks down at a brown child on a skateboard who stares back with a fierce smile on their face. Some small, greyish device is placed on the skateboard in front of the kid's right foot. The kid has their black, curly hair in two bushy pigtails. They are wearing striped leggins, a short yellow dress, a blue hoodie, and red sneakers. The old dude is wearing jeans and a grey turtleneck. Between them stands the book's title: "Ada & Zangemann - A Tale of Software, Skateboards, and Raspberry Ice Cream", and the names of the authors: Matthias Kirschner and Sandra Brandstätter.The picture is framed by the cables of a keyboard, a mouse, and a cable that leads to a smartphone.
(DIR) Post #AOIfFr5J9QdRvGK4lE by KAOS@dragonscave.space
2022-10-06T19:20:07Z
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@vriska Image description: Screenshot of a social media dialogue. Maya (with trans flags in her nick) says: "also cis women have natural testosterone", upon which Rick replies: "Well yeah because they're men".
(DIR) Post #AOcPIE2iZjkplkY7oO by KAOS@dragonscave.space
2022-10-16T07:55:26Z
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@stux Woah, so cool! Especially that it's in several languages.
(DIR) Post #ARLQKNb4Gs7suhF0W8 by KAOS@dragonscave.space
2023-01-04T21:38:00Z
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Sometimes I'm looking at this, wondering if these signals are really only meant to be used by people on maritime vessels, and not just by everyone. "I wish to communicate with you." "Keep clear of me; I am maneuvering with difficulty." "I need a hug." (well, they apparently misspelled it as 'tug') "I require assistance." "I am disabled; communicate with me." "Keep clear of me; I am engaged in pair trawling." (which is obviously slang for "don't flirt with me; I'm in a monogamous relationship".) "You are running into danger." #Communication
(DIR) Post #ARLQKQJo9V6PM2BlWy by KAOS@dragonscave.space
2023-01-04T21:44:34Z
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Oh, I forgot ""Stop carrying out your intentions and watch for my signals.""
(DIR) Post #ARrnvyA2KkQa0VSFVo by KAOS@dragonscave.space
2023-01-21T11:26:59Z
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Out of the blue, I got two follow requests from almost empty accounts on https://soc.ua-fediland.de , one of which had nazi symbols in their profile banner. Now I'm wondering, is this an actual Ukrainian instance, or is this some Russian propaganda thing? Haven't looked at any more profiles there yet (no time right now).
(DIR) Post #ARrnvywbQBHAR8B2DA by KAOS@dragonscave.space
2023-01-21T11:45:47Z
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So... I guess I should then better make this a #Fediblock post. https://soc.ua-fediland.de is sending out automated follow requests from mostly empty accounts. It might be a Russian troll farm, disguised as a Ukrainian instance. At least one account pretends(?) to be a Ukrainian nazi, complete with swastika and Asov flags in the banner.
(DIR) Post #ARrnvzqy2cMXFwY34C by KAOS@dragonscave.space
2023-01-21T11:27:58Z
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...and now the third request from an empty account. -.-
(DIR) Post #ATRYiZ95NUacCmEn6u by KAOS@dragonscave.space
2023-03-09T12:50:13Z
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I'm surprised: Berlin's public swimming pools announced that guests are not required to cover their chests, independent of gender presentation. Yay! Before, a woman had been told to dress up at one pool - and she was successful when she went to the ombuds office and complained about discrimination with the argument that the public pools' rules didn't state specific dressing requirements based on gender. 💪 🌈 https://taz.de/Baden-in-Berlin/!5919651/
(DIR) Post #AXBhNdnzfZdmkUmg52 by KAOS@dragonscave.space
2023-06-29T13:42:08Z
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I just started to wonder about handwriting. You know how some handwriting looks more "female" and some looks "male"? Is that perception only a cultural thing, or does a handwriting style actually tend to match a person's gender? 🤔 (Of course, what your handwriting looks like also has to do with what and how you were taught, and it probably has a strong genetic component as well - my mother's handwriting looks almost exactly like her twin sister's.)