Posts by HiroProtagonistSPLC@shitposter.club
(DIR) Post #AZHP3xuDIUdsiR1eXw by HiroProtagonistSPLC@shitposter.club
2023-08-31T05:17:14.688816Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
(DIR) Post #AZXC6QFYSw6TvIgTlw by HiroProtagonistSPLC@shitposter.club
2023-09-07T20:07:24.553303Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
Tank Girl
(DIR) Post #AZXO6n015Cn5vfMEPw by HiroProtagonistSPLC@shitposter.club
2023-09-07T22:21:56.145801Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
The movie I'm watching shows a motorcycle gang ransacking a small Mexican village. I guess this was supposed to be the drug store stall. Looks like they have plenty of Advil, weight gain powder, and a Centrum vitamin display. Chapstick too, I think.
(DIR) Post #AZXOLJka70npYi47wu by HiroProtagonistSPLC@shitposter.club
2023-09-07T22:24:33.640639Z
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There's another angle where you can identify one of the items that can't be easily seen here is a display box of Breathe Right nasal strips
(DIR) Post #AZXPtZjBJZlQubJHKi by HiroProtagonistSPLC@shitposter.club
2023-09-07T22:41:57.235123Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
I wonder how many Seven Samurai rip-offs there are
(DIR) Post #AZY1S0KYbp2FZL4Y3k by HiroProtagonistSPLC@shitposter.club
2023-09-08T05:42:45.942153Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
Master Chief in real life
(DIR) Post #AZYa0yeu3HVlDVDtnU by HiroProtagonistSPLC@shitposter.club
2023-09-08T12:10:03.390624Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
(DIR) Post #AZe9NALTuM1uIwvBa4 by HiroProtagonistSPLC@shitposter.club
2023-09-11T04:39:47.652696Z
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Timerider: The Adventure of Lyle Swann (1982) Fred Ward is the eponymous Lyle Swann: a dirt bike racer competing in a Baja Race. Hilarity ensues when a poorly scheduled time travel experiment transports Lyle to the 1870s. Most of the film features scene after scene of Lyle talking future jargon into the baffled faces of the locals who covet his riding machine. Lyle manages to hook up with the one white woman in the movie almost immediately. Before they can agree on dinnerware patterns, baby names, or his and her Snuggies, Miss Love Interest is captured by bandits along with Swann's bike. An action set piece followed by a chase sequence culminating in the time machine scientist showing up in a helicopter to pry lover boy away from the past. In a twist you probably didn't see coming because you don't care: Lyle turns out to be his own grandpa. Tracey Walter rounds out the cast. Dirt Bike-fu. Future-fu. Radio-fu. Nose-fu. Helicopter-fu. Zero breasts. Six Joe Bob Briggs out of a larger number.
(DIR) Post #AZsgeUIwBkCIBFHVfE by HiroProtagonistSPLC@shitposter.club
2023-09-18T04:58:38.817698Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
(DIR) Post #Aa6PVEkrvpkwRnbxnk by HiroProtagonistSPLC@shitposter.club
2023-09-24T19:52:27.284435Z
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Sammo kicked out Bobby Samuels' tooth in Don't Give a Damn (Action Talks Clips)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqJ3WDLfHXQ
(DIR) Post #AaElVpS3FP8AW2Azqa by HiroProtagonistSPLC@shitposter.club
2023-09-28T20:36:45.723221Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
@coolboymew 2TB = Two Thousand Bytes
(DIR) Post #AaR4kCsZAdOWFtfPxA by HiroProtagonistSPLC@shitposter.club
2023-10-04T19:08:47.474816Z
9 likes, 5 repeats
@Moon
(DIR) Post #AaRkALcJP06L0NeE5Y by HiroProtagonistSPLC@shitposter.club
2023-10-05T02:52:55.332550Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@Moon Clever
(DIR) Post #AaT0VSfoiScpSFC84O by HiroProtagonistSPLC@shitposter.club
2023-10-05T17:30:43.783848Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
Art by Stephen Maurice Graham
(DIR) Post #AalovYTlscnNG4lmgC by HiroProtagonistSPLC@shitposter.club
2023-10-14T19:20:29.989932Z
1 likes, 1 repeats
@Moon Hackers used to be cool
(DIR) Post #Abp6Y5AEpaO092eXqa by HiroProtagonistSPLC@shitposter.club
2023-11-15T07:14:10.645653Z
1 likes, 1 repeats
The Taking of Beverly Hills (1991) - Made for TV Ken Wahl stars as professional football player David "Boomer" Hayes in this generic actioneer typical of the era. Boomer gets love interest, Laura Sage, in the red zone but is stopped short of the goal line by a faked flourine tanker spill in one of the riches neighborhoods in Beverly Hills. Robert "Bat" Masterson (Yes, really) the evil owner of L.A.'s pro football team has managed to recruit disgruntled ex-cops to stage this incident in order to cordon off and evacuate the area, leaving the loot to be systematically... well... looted. This part heist part insurance scam is overseen by two computer savvy fellows that are wirelessly connected to all the thieves wirelessly via wrist mounted Sharp calculators. Somehow this enables them to keep a running dollar count of the spoils that never really has a point much less makes any sense. Thankfully, they didn't count on a pro quarterback with a bum knee and a reformed crooked cop Matt Fewer in tow to attempt comic relief, because this results in an almost Blues Brothers level of auto destruction and mayhem, preventing the editors from being tempted to show lots typing shots and monochrome screens telling us nothing. Meanwhile, Laura, evacuated to a swanky hotel with the rest of the rich who are whiling the hours away from home by napping in every available space, playing solitaire, and indulging in loud crap games as the rich are want to do, turns sleuth and quickly discovers Masterson is a bad little boy. Masterson catches Laura snooping and takes her to his mansion in between action set pieces. Hilarity ensues when he proposes to Laura, because "Why not? The worst she can say is 'No'". She says no. The heroes arrive and mop things up THE END.Apparently there was an ending with dialogue and everything showing the main characters having a good time. I guess it was thought a bit much, so they chose to run it without sound while the credits roll. Kinda weird because there's lots of talking and you can't hear them.Favorite line: "You know... I really... hate guys... who don't like... football."Capstone Games released a game based on this movie in the same year for DOS.Bonus - Here's some newscast crying into their silk handkerchiefs over this film building an elaborate recreation of Rodeo Drive in order to blow it up: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahGhI7x356gHighlights:- Odd Big Boy Restaurant mascot appearances- Beverly Hills cops are stupid - realistic portrayal or unfair stereotype?- Wrist mounted Sharp brand calculator wizardry- Ferris Bueller's dad plays the Beverly Hills Chief of Police. Although he has a number of scenes, he has absolutely no point and could've been cut out.- Molotov cocktails- After the bad guy is dead, it cuts to all the bad guys being rounded up with a number of details unresolved.- I'm not going to study it, but I get the impression that more bad guys are killed in friendly fire than are killed by the heroes- Lotsa vehicles driving through walls, crashing into each other, launched in the air, on fire etc.- In this movie's universe, Beverly Hills hotels have Dr. Evil-esque rooms with improbably long ventilation shafts and dangerous fan blades at the bottom- Stormtrooper rivaling marksmanship- BOOOOOOOMMMMMEEEEERRRR!!!!!!!- Football reference-fu- Mullet-fu- Gratuitous Flamethrower-fu- Throwing star-fu- Concrete chunk-fu- Football-fu- Corkscrew-fu
(DIR) Post #AcWkZFpd0Pq7U0P42y by HiroProtagonistSPLC@shitposter.club
2023-12-06T08:35:10.864578Z
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Skara (2023) - Donnie Yen co-directs and stars as Qiao Feng in this adaptation of the wuxia story "Demi-Gods and Semi Devils". The film begins with Feng as an abandoned baby on the doorstep of a kindly couple who care for him and don't seem phased by his extraordinary physical abilities. After learning martial arts from the Shaolin monks, he falls into a life of crime, joining up with a gang. His fortunes turn after being falsely accused of murder by the widow of a dead comrade and of being a traitor by a letter. Due to lack of evidence and obscure gang rules, he stabs himself in an appeal to innocence and leaves. Unfortunatelyfor Feng, he seems to have a knack for showing up just in time for different people to die in his arms. Too bad movies weren't around back then for people to know this is a trope. Feng makes friends with a girl thief who also doesn't know who her parents are. They bond over Feng keeping her alive and nearly dying to save her. After a number of plot points that are never resolved and being introduced to a character we never find out the identity of, the real villain is revealed, so this baby can be wrapped up before every one's Social Credit Score gets docked for not making iPhones for a few hours. Feng finds out his backstory, kills the Prince "I know the 9 Palm Strike to your 8 Palm Strike why am I dead?" Evilguy, and goes to the countryside where there's sheep and talks to a log. The End.The source material proves too large to cram into the wearying two hour plus runtime. The plot and pacing suffer greatly from it, making it overly convoluted.But who cares about that? How are the fights? IMO Donnie Yen is the best action star that still gets in front of the camera. Being a wu xia film, it's got plenty of improbable stuff. There's also a good share of crummy CGI. I think those detriments are made up for by some outstanding wirework, well shot fight choreography, and some inventive set pieces. As an old school martial arts fan, I feel like a beggar watching a movie anymore. The bar is so low. Lots of amputations, scores of stabbings, CG-fu, wire-fu, chopstick-fu, healthcare-fu, Donnie-fu. Three stars out of six frogs
(DIR) Post #AdTi0wpShspYJNAnZ2 by HiroProtagonistSPLC@shitposter.club
2024-01-03T19:14:32.347788Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@augustus Pulls up vinyl flooring in the kitchen to reveal a Byzantine mosaic
(DIR) Post #AdTlVjgfuvD0OPR4Rk by HiroProtagonistSPLC@shitposter.club
2024-01-03T19:53:43.154259Z
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Didn't realize Stabbing Westward put out an album in 2022
(DIR) Post #AdTmAzs8eAIUSiTLSC by HiroProtagonistSPLC@shitposter.club
2024-01-03T20:01:10.570853Z
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I watched the three episode exploitation documentary about the Love Has Won cult. I laughed out loud more than I thought I would. The whole story is pathetic and sad.It occurred to me that the second episode could be recut into an Office parody with the Father God dude being the chaotic Michael Scott character.Human behavior is infinitely fascinating.