Posts by Betty_Davis_Knees@spinster.xyz
(DIR) Post #9mKXXThpp7KU6Irx7g by Betty_Davis_Knees@spinster.xyz
2019-08-28T02:02:33Z
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If anyone is having problems attaching pics to posts because the "publish" button disappears, try changing the font on your phone down to small or medium. I had mine set at large (age related reading vision!) and for some reason the site adjusts the text but doesn't adjust the scrolling settings to accommodate the extra space that large font takes up.FYI @mk - incase you get any queries about problems attaching pics.
(DIR) Post #9mKYOXiHegY5sQNlaa by Betty_Davis_Knees@spinster.xyz
2019-08-28T02:12:58Z
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Sorry! I changed my font a couple of days ago and assumed it was still a problem. Also hadn't seen Alex's post. Will double check it then delete this post. @mk @alex
(DIR) Post #9mKZBvMWW8WtPdkcme by Betty_Davis_Knees@spinster.xyz
2019-08-28T02:20:49Z
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Yes, it's working! Sorry @mk @alex will delete the post. Thanks for fixing it. ☺
(DIR) Post #9mKZLP59OC0oC293L6 by Betty_Davis_Knees@spinster.xyz
2019-08-28T02:23:37Z
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Good thinking! 😀@mk @alex
(DIR) Post #9mX8FQ5EzDnPMHOKtE by Betty_Davis_Knees@spinster.xyz
2019-09-03T01:26:43Z
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Hey Aussie Spinsters, can we try and make this a thingon Twitter? So sick of women being expected to participate in a kiss when greeting male aquaintances or colleagues. I'd be OK if it was a good male friend but men don't kiss other men in general so I don't see why we should. #KissOff!https://mobile.twitter.com/Kazz0_0/status/1168694931252056064
(DIR) Post #9mXRAhoRXbZU1d056e by Betty_Davis_Knees@spinster.xyz
2019-09-03T07:23:17Z
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@alex No if it's used in a negative way, to criticise someone. I'm Australian and calling someone a 'cunt' or an 'old cunt' as an affectionate term relies on 'cunt' being an insult - i.e. you can only insult someone in such an egregious way if you are really good friends with them (only ever heard men use it that way, though). It doesn't change the negative connotations of calling someone a cunt just because insulting someone can be considered a form of affection in some circles. As a biological descripter, yes. Love it, great word, would like to see it reclaimed (á la Inga Muscio). Cunts are wonderful. They are not just a source of sexual pleasure but the channel through which menstrual blood exits the body and through which we are all delivered from the womb into the world. 'Cunt' is an ancient descriptor of the of the birth canal and vulva that, along with the womb, is at the heart of our oppression as female human beings. To use it as the worst thing you can call a person is to promote the idea that there's something hateful or disgusting about a cunt, and by association menstruation and childbirth. I think those associations with women's reproductive functions are what give 'cunt' an extra zing as a pejorative. If we get used to hearing it as a hateful term we don't get used to it as a positive word, nor as a positive thing to have. It dissociates us from our sexual experience and disconnects us from the menstruating, gestating, birthing functions of our bodies.
(DIR) Post #9mkAk03wflrS6GixNY by Betty_Davis_Knees@spinster.xyz
2019-09-09T10:50:24Z
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@meghanmurphy "an overtly transmisogynist, transphobic, ableist and saneist platform" *sigh* ... "saneist"? ... I had to google that as it's new word to me. I think this is a particularly dangerous word. As a person who has endured severe mental health problems, I find that offensive. My mental ill health was never delusional and I remained sane and capable of logic, critical thinking and well developed analysis of sociological and feminist texts, in between crippling bouts of depression, anxiety and ptsd. Sometimes, my actual sanity was making me depressed because I was being subjected to gaslighting and struggling to marry the reality I perceived with the insistent BS that was being presented to me. Sanity is something I welcome in others and myself and especially in academic journals. Just because I was often ill doesn't mean I wasn't sane. There is a slippery 'McKinnonesque' feel to this word, 'saneism'. People who are oppressed are often accused of being insane when they describe and object to their oppression, and comfortable middle class people who don't want to accept that they lack understanding of disadvantage might think that they themselves are more capable of seeing things clearly, while the oppressed people are "exaggerating". You can see how some people might have sympathy for that and perhaps embrace a word like "saneism" as an antidote to it. However, I don't think it intends to address that issue. "Saneism" seems to be intended to mostly encompass poor thinking processes that come about through low-ish IQ, or poor awareness of social rules and interactions due to having Asberger's Syndrome, ASD, or a personality disorder. Having more than one family member with one of these conditions, I can vouch for the fact that their thinking is often emotional and is lacking both insight and critical analysis. And worse: they take their emotional reactions and try to spin a logical theory to support them, then obsess about that theory - sometimes for years. They turn themselves inside out trying to make it logical but their form of logic lacks insight; it is not flexible and responds with anger to simple exposure to the light of inquiry. Sound familiar? I am not surprised that many trans people are on the autism spectrum. This doesn't mean that people with ASD aren't good people, aren't funny, smart, loyal, artistic, valuable people. I'm sure many surgeons, lawyers and IT professionals are ASD. Many would be neurotypical but those with ASD would feel comfortable within such arenas as type of logic required suits them. But there are ways in which the Aspy brain doesn't connect with things that are really important to connect to when it comes to social issues. .../2
(DIR) Post #9mkI6us4q7xoL42zQm by Betty_Davis_Knees@spinster.xyz
2019-08-29T11:58:30Z
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So sorry this happened to you. I noticed BDSM being promoted in an online feminist group (along with trans activism & sex "positivity") about 10 years ago and couldn't believe my eyes. Most of the talk around BDSM seemed to be glib, hip and aggressive all at the same time. The peer pressure was intense. Thoughts about BDSM being non-feminist were shouted down - IN CAPITALS!!!! - as being sex negative. Accusations of being a TERF often went with putdowns for being "sex negative". They were really dividing people and establishing an attitude of "if you're not with us on all of it (kink, sex work, trans inclusivity, sex positivity, public toplessness for women) then you're against us entirely". I'm not a survivor, I just wanted to say congratulations on getting out. I could see the manipulation and gaslighting (and it always seemed to be coming from the men, although I might just be remembering the worst ones) and it must be taking a lot of self work to undo it all. I hope you find others here to share your experiences. @Eah
(DIR) Post #9mkTvMYTcTksn6Mbce by Betty_Davis_Knees@spinster.xyz
2019-09-09T14:25:22Z
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From memory, the shouty people were male but the whole sex positive movement was also being promoted by women. The arguments went along pretty much the same lines as the TERF & SWERF commentary that happens on twitter & fb except that the insults were "sex negative" and "sex neg TERF".@Lemondrizzle @Eah
(DIR) Post #9mlCQItjniglgnUCXo by Betty_Davis_Knees@spinster.xyz
2019-09-09T22:43:59Z
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@Lemondrizzle Yes!
(DIR) Post #9mq3MqK7L9K4pWOo1Q by Betty_Davis_Knees@spinster.xyz
2019-09-12T06:56:03Z
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Does ex-smoker count?And by the way, how does anyone smoke weed without adding tobacco? I've often wondered that; and if a weed habit is also partly a tobacco habit. @darwi_odrade
(DIR) Post #9ms1E5i44o6kjHmcrY by Betty_Davis_Knees@spinster.xyz
2019-09-13T05:41:30Z
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Oh cool, it's just that I've never smoked weed without tobacco and as far as I know, have only ever seen others smoke it with tobacco, both in joints and bongs. I guess I always just assumed it was necessary! @darwi_odrade
(DIR) Post #9mtujBkPMpxR4MgFrU by Betty_Davis_Knees@spinster.xyz
2019-09-14T03:38:05Z
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@meghanmurphy I, too, have raged with anger and sorrow at Magdalen's illness and death. She was a such unique person, her voice and personality cut through clear and strong and made many women braver than they had before. She inspired us and we love her for it, despite not knowing her. I have so much admiration for those who have risen to leadership and fought the takeover of feminism and culture, both you and Magdalen in particular. Finding Feminist Current and Magdalen's videos felt like a home-coming and I have been inspired to start tweeting by both. 😊I love what you do. I admire your intellect, courage and tenacity, and the way you can write articles that manage to be both succinct and in depth at the same time. I think you, Magdalen, and other activists like you, underestimate your brilliance. I know you will all have had many long nights of the soul in your lives; times when it seems too hard; times when you feel vulnerable, terrified, and alone, despite your brilliance and courage. I don't know what combinations of talent, grit, intellect, courage and hard work it takes for people like Magdalen to rise and shine but I know it's a relatively rare combination. I hope more budding Magdalens, Meghans, Julies, Laras, Claires, etc, hear your call and let their light shine. Not all of us have the capacity, though. I think 'capacity' is a comprised of a myriad qualities and resources. Some would be things like intellectual ability, support of a partner, solid family and friendship groups, financial resources, emotional strength, confidence, and social status. The kinds of disadvantages that prevent some people from speaking publicly are a myriad and complex combination. The addition or removal of just a couple of advantages can make the difference between being able to stand up and not being able to. Fear and bravery both have many components, not just the obvious ones. Some people live under dark clouds of poverty, social disadvantage, housing instability, family violence, disabilty, grief and trauma. There is a world of judgement already being heaped upon them and what they have to lose if they go public might be one of the few things they have to cling on to. Then there are those who have very little of those issues to deal with but are terrified for their children and I totally get that. I really believe that we are all playing our part. I wish I could be more public on platforms like twitter and Spinster. I hope one day I will be able to. Some of us take a leading role, some are in the chorus, others are bit players, stagehands, prop managers. Right now I'm glad to be doing what I can backstage. I applaud everything you do and am learning from you and many others every day. Maybe somehow, someday, I can make a small difference that helps to turn the tide. 💜💚😊
(DIR) Post #9mu30CVcaYIBzHO4ES by Betty_Davis_Knees@spinster.xyz
2019-09-14T05:02:27Z
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Because these two posts are too good not to save. Thank you @terven_witch :D"The thing is, "telling others how to live their life" is precisely what the trans cult is doing to us. They're telling women what it means to be a woman, they're telling us we have to bow to their demands, mis-use language to accommodate their addiction and self-delusion, and sacrifice our female spaces, political positions, scholarships, sports teams, etc. for them. They're demanding that all of reality bend to fit their out-of-body make-believe play, and we're simply saying, "no." Not a single one of us is telling a dude he can't wear a dress or call himself Mary. We're not telling him how to "live his life." We're telling him that his opinion of himself doesn't change material reality. We're telling him that how he chooses to live his life should not mean we have to change how we live our lives to accommodate him. That is vastly, wholly different." - Terven Witch 14/9/19
(DIR) Post #9mu35PhqwszuMkatdo by Betty_Davis_Knees@spinster.xyz
2019-09-14T05:11:41Z
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@georgia @terven_witch Kind of bittersweet, hey?
(DIR) Post #9mwAONaM98fzHkzwQq by Betty_Davis_Knees@spinster.xyz
2019-09-15T05:43:00Z
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I'm deeply saddened that a statement was made about "refusing to tolerate excuses" about people being anonymous (which you can't do IRL so we have to assume it means online) and "refusing to speak out" (when most people here are speaking out online, albeit anonymously), then more statements doubling down on the first one appear, with no effort to understand why it was a problem when there were plenty of polite explanations as to why. Maybe there were a few people who responded with unnecessary anger but the original post was also unnecessarily angry and the doubling down from MM kept going when many people responded thoughtfully and in depth. There were many responses trying to educate MM on the problems both with the judgement inherent in the whole of the first half of the post (about 'no longer tolerating') as well her assertions that anonymous activism is wrong (just because Magdalen had the same stance, it doesn't mean she was right, much as we love her). I can see from a facebook post by MM that the issue of writing about feminist issues anonymously has long been a bugbear of hers so I expect that she is not ready to hear the truckloads of wisdom flowing her way on this subject, much of it, I suspect, from women who are a decade or three older and have learnt from personal experience. Now I see in this post the words "appalled" "ashamed" "abhorrent" "Do better Spinsters", when many were respectfully disagreeing with MM, or being conciliatory in agreeing with both MM and the argments against hers. There is clearly an ideological divide on the merits of acting anonymously and lending your real name to feminist statements made in public. I really hope some deep thinking can be done on this in the near future because there appears to be little understanding on why it's not only important to some women personally to remain anonymous online but advantageous as a political tactic for others as they engage with others in their real life communities. At the very least, it is better to have support, discussion and information sharing amongst a larger number of people than to have half the number speaking under their own names but not reaching as wide an audience. People new to the movement will also be more likely to engage with posts and share information if they can do it anonymously to begin with.
(DIR) Post #9my1mX8tkp78bZW8v2 by Betty_Davis_Knees@spinster.xyz
2019-09-16T03:15:59Z
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Oh dear, more berating of the Spinster community at large and another lecture about how people like MM, MK, & MB are 'putting themselves on the line' while others are too afraid to come out? We've tried so hard get through on this subject and instead of meeting the positions and explanations offered to you, within the posts, with any kind of conciliation to the position that "some women choose anonymity for a reason" we're being subjected to more justifications, double downs, and reposts by the two creators of Spinster. Also by MM on twitter, it seems.And again with the emotional blackmail - "MK was attacked by a TRA." "She suffers because others don't speak out".If that was a Spinster post, I'd have responded if I'd seen it. It is difficult to see all comments sometimes, even within the post, because of how the platform works, maybe that was an issue. If it was an example of IRL, don't think that many of us haven't been in similar situations IRL, not just in the last few years but for 3 or 4 decades. Feminism has never been popular. Expressing feminist positions has alway been done by a minority surrounded silent by sympathisers who express support to you privately but leave you high and dry in a goup. Doesn't matter what the subject is. It's part of the feminist gig. That is one of the motivations for being in a group like Spinster. We want to be in a room where we're not on our own. Don't think that we haven't been there or that we don't continue to go there. And we are not working towards the potential payoff of being a renowned author or blogger as MK is clearly working towards, and at which MM is already doing very well.There are benefits to the 'real name' stance. For the ambitious amongst us it brings noteriety. Those of us who've been around the block a few times know that it's not all about suffering and hard work. There is recognition to be had, ego to be fulfilled, fire in the belly that can't be ignored. It's a gamble, we know that - some of us have tossed the dice and lost - we see possible benefits of being 'out' as well as the possible risk. But here's the thing. If you want to lead, you need supporters. If you want renown, you need people to share your work. You won't get that if you keep berating them for not doing something, especially if you totally ignore them when they explain it to you, then use your existing public platform (albeit a small one) to continue berating them. .../2@alex @social.hatthieves.es
(DIR) Post #9my1qB4Rl5q3JDAmMC by Betty_Davis_Knees@spinster.xyz
2019-09-16T03:16:38Z
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2/ ...This subject keeps coming up largely because (from what I can see) the leaders here are not budging from MMs original stance and MM has disappeared and seems to entrenching herself further on Twitter, tweeting and retweeting about it. It is such a big mistake to continue to try and shame people about being anon and an even bigger one to draw a line in the sand on it. The arguments for being anon are many and varied and have been explained - some of them can't be explained without revealing information that could be identifying so don't think you've heard all the 'for anon' arguments. Regardless of whether you, MK and MM get to understand the 'for anon' position, which seems unlikely given that being 'out' seems to have been an entenched position even pre-Spinster, it's important to clearly understand two things: 1. we need people to spread the word online and go argue with TRAs online because that gets the gender critical rationale seen by others who can be swayed. 2. you specifically need people to spread your words, your brands, yyor websites, your articles, your patreon stes. You don't need people with real name accounts to do these thing. If you can't let go of your stance about using real names, if you can't be conciliatory, if you can't hear what's being said to you, then dop the subject. No more threads, no more justifications. Because you are only offending people more. Some of us will go and follow someone else and spread their words, blogs, etc. Twitter and Mumsnet are calling. @alex
(DIR) Post #9myGczGBrDkoE7pmJE by Betty_Davis_Knees@spinster.xyz
2019-09-16T00:49:53Z
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There's clearly no reflection. That account is tweeting and retweeting on the subject of 'real names' over and over again. If inspiration is the intention, it's largely failing. And putting a lot of people off, to boot. @oculusmundi @WaltinaNeff @StanFastic
(DIR) Post #9myGd0oy3PAP4H749g by Betty_Davis_Knees@spinster.xyz
2019-09-16T03:52:46Z
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I guess the vanity of youth can't see past its own mirror. I guess I was similarly dense at the same age. The problem with the age of social media is that everyone gets to see it. 😕@oculusmundi @WaltinaNeff @StanFastic