Posts by 3_3van@mastodon.social
(DIR) Post #9nMiRREPWop36qPNJI by 3_3van@mastodon.social
2018-08-22T00:28:46Z
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@3_3van MCGONAGALL: Albus, you know that as a cat animagus, I’m at more danger from big titty Alf than anyoneDUMBLEDORE: get with the times, everyone’s talking about vape ape these days
(DIR) Post #9nMiRRcW5C6YJbgcsq by 3_3van@mastodon.social
2018-08-22T00:31:00Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
CENTAUR: my god. Row upon row of prophecies, all foretelling arrest dates for different ministry employees. Wainwright, Moody, even Cornelius...BIG SPIDER: let’s break them all
(DIR) Post #9nMiRRw0uhhVI4oCH2 by 3_3van@mastodon.social
2018-08-22T00:32:34Z
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@3_3van DRACO: hey Borgin can I buy some dark magic shit?BORGIN: Hell yeah comrade. Weasleys get the wall
(DIR) Post #9nMiRSHzazHWOF5kX2 by 3_3van@mastodon.social
2018-08-22T00:34:24Z
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LUPIN: I haven’t been in this story very much because I’ve co-authored a paper with fake doctor Jordan Peterson
(DIR) Post #9nMiRSV6oDm12vEDya by 3_3van@mastodon.social
2018-08-22T00:36:07Z
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@3_3van SNAPE: am I a good guy? Am I a bad guy. Only one thing I can say: Weasleys get the wall
(DIR) Post #9nMiRSl3quX9qOgxqC by 3_3van@mastodon.social
2018-08-22T00:37:46Z
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MAD EYE MOODY: I’m selling cars now. I’ve gotta be mad to have these prices! Also I hit the campaign trail for our 45th president and I’m running to be your mayor
(DIR) Post #9nMiRT86TExuzrTMky by 3_3van@mastodon.social
2018-08-22T00:49:09Z
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@3_3van HARRY: It’s so easy to get laid in the castleRON: typical chad behavior. I’ve been redpilled since my last appearanceBALEM: not fair that you people stole that from the Wachowski sisters
(DIR) Post #9nMiRTKrhnApdRRYeG by 3_3van@mastodon.social
2018-08-22T00:58:06Z
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SNAPE: does anyone know where I can get 11 German terrorists on the cheap? I’m Hans Gruber nowMAGRID: as a maga Guy German terrorism is the only kind I support
(DIR) Post #9nMiRTbWhqV8T7ErcO by 3_3van@mastodon.social
2018-08-22T01:02:45Z
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@3_3van DOBBY: oh please, give your clothes to the house elves to free usHERMIONE: gross. is that like a sex thing or something?COLIN CREEVEY: is there a sex thing happening here?
(DIR) Post #9nMiRTq3po7xCC2TGy by 3_3van@mastodon.social
2018-08-22T01:26:17Z
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SEAMUS: well it’s time to go to bed in hogwarts worldHARRY: I’m going to bed with a womanRON: I’ll never be loved DEADPOOL: there’s probably gonna be more stuff for this tomorrow. also I’m living in griffindor dorm now
(DIR) Post #9nMiRU8UjGsA7MfC0O by 3_3van@mastodon.social
2018-08-22T12:21:56Z
1 likes, 2 repeats
@3_3van CENTAUR: well, it was a long night. we finally read every one of the QAnon prophecies in the ministry of magic and know everything there is to know about the wizard deep stateBIG SPIDER: ah shit we missed oneCENTAUR: what does “in exactly ten days Elon Musk will do crack, watch Sorry to Bother You, and tweet out the phrase ‘Steve Lift Mindset’” mean?BIG SPIDER: idk man it sounds important
(DIR) Post #ADviOh0rvfnmWB9cUy by 3_3van@mastodon.social
2018-08-22T12:29:58Z
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VOLDEMORT: hey snape, why are you blonde nowSNAPE: I’m Hans Gruber nowVOLDEMORT: ok that’s a valid choice and I love and respect you. Also abolish ICE
(DIR) Post #ADviOhwIU9jtOI1U0m by 3_3van@mastodon.social
2018-08-22T12:35:25Z
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@3_3van GILDEROY LOCKHART: I’m a YouTuber in this. I’m going to go on the joe rogan show after I burn down every house in my neighborhood
(DIR) Post #ADviOiPMk4zWqRchJw by 3_3van@mastodon.social
2018-08-22T13:37:39Z
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LUPIN: don’t worry if your Patronus isn’t the animal you wanted- it could be any creature in the world. It could be big titty Alf, or maybe a vape ape
(DIR) Post #ADviOirj2dg0GOtLWa by 3_3van@mastodon.social
2018-08-22T18:22:39Z
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@3_3van HERMIONE: alright second meeting of SPEW. Let’s try and get some new membersDEADPOOL: that Colin guy is a bit of a creep maybe he’d like this
(DIR) Post #ADviOjYcT9zIPQxbNo by 3_3van@mastodon.social
2018-08-22T18:35:27Z
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DUMBLEDORE: I know it’s my job to talk to the muggle prime minister but if Corbyn was elected I don’t think I would do it
(DIR) Post #ADviOjyqtcyHinEYGu by 3_3van@mastodon.social
2018-08-22T20:39:36Z
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@3_3van GRIPHOOK: (whatever the JK Rowling version of L’Chaim is) good job, kid. I’ll give you a million shekels for this house elf porn.COLIN CREEVEY: thanks mr goblin man
(DIR) Post #ADviOkQ9G8o15S0Lom by 3_3van@mastodon.social
2018-08-22T20:40:14Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
And then to finish this series that is ostensibly for children, every main character gets killed. The End
(DIR) Post #ADviOkuzPTTYd6QytE by 3_3van@mastodon.social
2018-08-26T00:40:57Z
1 likes, 1 repeats
@3_3van VOLDEMORT: Avada kedavraJOHN MCCAIN: *dies*
(DIR) Post #ADviOnQc4rxaPlFGSW by 3_3van@mastodon.social
2018-08-22T20:43:01Z
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@3_3van Remember: anyone can change Harry Potter canon at any time. I now pass this gift to you. Weasleys get the wall.