Post AYMoyl5PZgpQNjF6Yq by bluecat@ioc.exchange
(DIR) More posts by bluecat@ioc.exchange
(DIR) Post #AYMoyl5PZgpQNjF6Yq by bluecat@ioc.exchange
2023-07-29T18:54:18Z
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Leaving my parents ended on this note: my mom told me she bribed my brother (43) to come to northern Maine for my daughter’s tenth birthday by telling him he could go hiking during the party. She said this was the “carrot” she dangled to get him to come. I said, (not yelled or snapped mind you - simply said) “that’s a little ridiculous since he won’t have a chance to see us again for at least another year, you’d think he’d want to come.” She interrupted me, shut me down and told me “don’t start” and to take it for what it is, and not to be “like that”. I’m not allowed to have a single feeling in this house. I grew up being shut down anytime I felt sad, frustrated or upset about anything big or small. I’m almost 40 and that hasn’t changed. If I express the slightest irritation I’m treated as if I’m being an ill-behaved child. I will not raise my kids to believe they aren’t allowed to feel their feelings. This ends with me. Coincidentally my family name also ended when I got married, and I’m glad.
(DIR) Post #AYMoylgzJyt0GGp78C by Maiko_1820@noagendasocial.com
2023-08-03T22:09:05Z
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@bluecat Im glad I saw this post. And read the last line, because that's exactly how I feel and what I struggle with involving my side of the family and stressing myself out to haul my kids to visit them. It's also sad that our own brothers are so narcissistic. Bleh! I'd move out of the country if I didn't love my in laws so much 😅
(DIR) Post #AYMxQYSfgJklklFnyy by bluecat@ioc.exchange
2023-08-03T23:43:44Z
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@Maiko_1820 I am also lucky enough to have wonderful in-laws and I am much closer with them than my own family. You’re definitely not alone in this! It took me many years to understand how my parents treatment of me impacted who I am as a person and to work on undoing the damage. It is long lasting, unfortunately.