Subj : Re: Condolences, etc.
To   : Daryl Stout
From : David Smith
Date : Wed Dec 29 2021 09:15:50

 DS>   Condolences on the loss of your Dad. I lost mine nearly 15 years ago to
 DS> pancreatic cancer...and my wife died not 3 months later. My Mom died of
 DS>   I became her caregiver in the year before I had to put her into a
 DS> nursing home, and was driving her on errands, grocery shopping, etc. She
 DS> wanted to help with the groceries when we got back home, and I told her
 DS> "You sit your butt down in the chair...the roles are reversed, as I'm
 DS> the caregiver now".

Wow sorry to hear about your losses sounds like that was a pretty rough time
loosing your mom and wife so close together! My mom is struggling right now.
We went down the day after Christmas and had a little Christmas with her and
my brother. She took some of dads old Alabama shirts and made pillows for all
the family and she broke down in tears passing them out. We took one to my
aunt, dads only remaining sibling who is in her 90s she broke down too. Its
gonne be a long process but we do have so many fond memories of him.


 DS>   Agreed. But, after they're gone, you have all the wonderful memories
 DS> that no one can take away. My Mom and I traveled to the Clive Cussler
 DS> Collectors Society Conventions several times between 2007 and 2012. She
 DS> had bought several of his books, and was one of his worldwide followers.
 DS> Dr. Cussler passed away 6 months after my Mom died. The news of that
 DS> would've probably given her a heart attack...but at least The Good Lord
 DS> called her home to Heaven before the bottom fell out with Covid-19.
 DS>   My Mom took care of all the finances, power of attorney, etc. for my
 DS> Dad. But, I had to do such for my Mom, as my brother wanted nothing to
 DS> do with it. He's one of these that "lives in his own little world"...and
 DS> all he wanted was his money afterwards. He rarely cooks at home, and
 DS> goes out to eat with his friends every day...I don't see how he affords
 DS> it. I've been eating on the cheap for a good while now, and if I don't
 DS> have to go out, I stay home. I rarely eat breakfast, as I'm rarely up
 DS> early (except nature and a nightmare woke me this morning)...and I
 DS> basically eat just lunch (my big meal of the day), and a light snack for
 DS> dinner. But, I have plenty of medications to take with food. 


My brother has had a lot of health issues his whole life and lives with mom
on disability.  Mom takes care of him (making sure he gets to all his
appointments, meds, etc). Shes always been very independent even as shes in
her mid 70's and its hard to get her to let go or share responsibilities. 
She make sure flowers are on all the graves at the cemetery and says shes
gonna have all the vases removed before she dies because she doesn't think I
will take care of them.  I know this is all gonna fall on me and I'm trying
to learn as much as I can about everything she does but its hard to get her
to share stuff. 

Mom has always been my backbone. Dad was always my inspiration loosing him
was hard and its really gonne be hard when I have to say goodbye to mom.

Also regarding the nursing homes (I know I'm jumping around a lot) before
COVID hit mom was sponsoring a couple of people at the local nursing home.
After COVID hit they isolated all the patients and she couldn't get in to see
them. Both of them passed away last yaer, not of COVID, but she believes just
lonlieness. She said they have lost a LOT of people in that nursing home the
past year+. If I can at all help it I'm NOT gonna let her or my brother have
to go to a nursing home.  We were really lucky to be able to spend the last
few days with dad in the hospital but a lot of those folks died alone.

--- Mystic BBS v1.12 A46 2020/08/26 (Windows/32)
 * Origin: Dave's BBS (454:1/110)

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