Subj : Re: Spammers And More To : Barry Martin From : Daryl Stout Date : Wed Nov 17 2021 18:08:00 Barry, First, sorry about the long message. BM> That takes care of the specific name but I had the feeling Mike's BM> nuisance was more than a just a single name. I've blocked IP's and hostnames, mainly from slamming the ports, or trying to relay spam. There is apparently a problem with folks sending email back to the BBS (validation issues), so it's basically just for use with the Telnet Email Verifier, and to send Netmail (FTN or QWK). BM> Yes, there are ways to say things without saying or mentioning things. Cue the long [bleep tone]. :P BM> My Mother sort of had that rule also, just for a slightly different BM> reason: the toilet had the covers on it (tank, seat -- this was back in BM> the 60's and 70's) and if the lid was left up then the 'pretty seat' BM> didn't show. Well, you didn't want to be sitting on that seat if you weren't sitting there for the main purpose. That's why they refer to it as "the busiest seat in the house". BM> The two work hand-in-hand: can manipulate the direction of thinking BM> with the words plus psychological 'tricks'. She was fantastic at trivia and word games. Also, at my Dad's funeral, one of his sisters had been "shunned" by the family. Well, my wife was willing to spend time and talk with her. As for me, she said "I like a challenge". :P Just over 2 1/2 months later, 3 weeks shy of our 4th wedding anniversary, I lost her to a heart attack. BM> I had to go back a few paragraphs: I had forgotten you were talking BM> about Janice and thinking your mother! I never my my Mom "indecently"...but saw my wife "in all her glory". I may have told this before, but there were 2 instances before we "became an item" where "she took care of me". She also had a dachshund...although with the first time I met her, the bitch (the dog, not her ), didn't like me, and pooped on my shoe. It's generally a clue that if their dog doesn't like you, the person won't either...but this may have been more like "You don't mess with my Momma". :P The second dachshund had a part in us "becoming an item", which I'll detail shortly. Basically, I figured if she didn't take care of me beforehand, she wouldn't take care of me after we said "I do". We were friends for 17 1/2 years, and never thought of marriage, let alone to each other...but I'm getting ahead of myself in the reply. The second one had to be put down about a year and a half before my wife died. We got a new one 3 months later, but I re-homed him the day my wife died. 1) One evening, I had gone to her place, to help her with computer issues. We had met on a BBS run by the computer science department at the local college. While the college and computer science department are still there, the BBS is long gone. We were also users on several other area BBS's...and I have a bulletin online, noting those former BBS's. There are only 3 left in Arkansas to my knowledge...a system in Mayflower (between Little Rock and Conway), another BBS here in Little Rock, and mine. Anyway, she had one of those swivel chairs with wheels, and she had admonished me to NOT lean back in the chair. As a type A male, did I listen?? Of course not!! (Let this be a lesson, guys!! ). The chair tipped over (it bit me in the back). She said, "OK, take off your shirt", and promptly broke out the First Aid kit, and began swabbing, cleaning, and banadging the wound. It was right above the waist, but still the lower back...so, I didn't to take my pants and underwear off (as you'll see, that came later ). A few days later, the pain got so bad, I went to the clinic where my PCP (at that time) was working. They said "Whoever worked on this wiped out any chance of infection". They gave me medication for the pain...but that "good deed" stuck with me all these years. Two days before I proposed to her, I had gone to her apartment to visit her...and her dachshund (this one, a male) was thrilled to see me. She asked if I wanted to take the weiner widget for a walk, and I said "Sure". Now, he had one of those retractable leashes...which I originally thought were fantastic. Basically, it let the dog go in the poop filled grass, and I stayed on the sidewalk. Well, as I got back, I had the leash in front of my groin...which nearly became a fatal mistake. :P Somehow, the leash came off his collar, retracted at full speed, and popped me in the groin where it hurts the most...and I fell to the ground. I now live in dread fear of these things...just like with the MagLite flashlight...when I dropped it on the second toe of my right foot, and fractured it the toe. She had gone inside the apartment, and when I didn't follow in behind her, she came outside, and was horrified to see my on the sidewalk. To make matters worse, the dachshund jumped on the area where I just got popped, as if to say "is something wrong??". She asked what happened, and I groaned "I got bit by a leash". She helped me get up, and help me inside (getting the dog inside as well). Now, I was in moderate to severe pain after just getting popped twice, and I thought I was in mortal danger...as males can bleed to death from an injury in that area. The same thing can happen (blood from the penis) if you're passing a kidney stone... been there, done that...although my mother-in-law thought "you're having a male period". :P So, I embarrasingly asked if she'd "take a look". As noted, I was in great pain, and "getting frisky" was the last thing on my mind. So, I dropped my pants and underwear before her. I thought she would dump me like a hot rock for "exposing myself", and asked her "Do you think any less of me??". She replied "I give you credit for your common sense. I would have called 911 if I had seen blood". I knew, RIGHT THEN, that THIS WAS THE GIRL I WAS GOING TO MARRY. I gave her a big hug (I was practically in tears, both of pain, and joy), and proposed 2 days later. We went to a local K-Mart that was going out of business, and got a wedding ring for $25 (it was originally nearly $200...talk about a steal!!). For grins, I recently looked at the price of some of the engagement and wedding rings nowadays, and they're in the stratosphere!! I think of the meme where the guy has a washer/ring/lugnut from a car engine hose, and the caption says "He went to NAPA" (never mind Jared) . When we went to get wedding invitations, the sample had the name of my ex-fiance' from years ago on the sample, and it was spelled the same way (Daryl and Pamela). I said "I think I'm going to puke", and Janice was laughing like crazy. :P Unlike Janice, who didn't care whether we ate at McDonald's or Olive Garden (to her, "food was food")...Pam always wanted me to take her to the most expensive place, always pick up the tab, and forsake all hobbies and everything outside of work, to spend every waking moment with her. Basically, she was to do all the "taking", and I was to do all the "giving". That type of relationship is doomed to failure. I broke off the engagement before Christmas one year...she thought I was a Scrooge, but I felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted off of my shoulders. She even accused me of "using her". Would you please explain to me that when you're doing all the "giving" that you're "using someone". Before announcing our engagement, both of us had gone to see our respective pastors for "marriage counseling", and both agreed that "both of you have a good head on your shoulders". Sadly, I doubt that many folks going into a relationship nowadays will even consider going through marriage counseling. It's more like the marriage counselor in "The Lockhorns" comic strip, with Leroy and Loretta (I don't recall the name of the counselor in the comic strip...I want to say his name was I. Pullman). At the time, we were going to separate churches, but as a courtesy to her, I went to her church throughout our marriage...even though the couple normally marries in the bride's church, then goes to the groom's church. We had told her pastor and his wife (who also had a dachshund), and they were thrilled...but we asked them to "keep it a secret" until after the church service one day. That morning, I had gone to my church, then drove down to hers. When I walked in, the preacher's wife gave me a big hug and kiss...and I'm sure several folks noticed, and wondered what was going on. Even though I had visited there before, most church folks aren't normally that affectionate with visitors. Well, her church had a potluck every other Sunday, and as it turned out, the Sunday of the engagement announcement, the bridal shower, and the wedding day, had a potluck. Timing is everything, and they knew how to put out the fixins'. Some may have "the gift of gab" (as you may feel I am with this long message ), but others have the gift of cooking food!! The joke is now that the Baptists are so afraid of getting out of church late, as the Methodists are going to beat them to lunch at the local cafeterial!! :P On Engagement Day, after the service was over, the preacher asked "Can I get everyone's attention?? We have a very important announcement to make!!". Well, folks like to talk after church, and it took a bit to quiet them all down. The preacher then announced "We'd like to announce the engagement of Janice Elaine Harvey to Daryl J.D. Stout". You could have heard a pin drop for about 15 seconds, as everyone froze in stunned silence. The look on nearly everyone's face was like "WTH??!!". At the bridal shower, my fiance'(sp?)(I used to think it was pronounced "finance-ee". ) wanted everyone there (men and women), which was fine with me. Besides getting all these nice gifts, everyone was to give the new couple-to-be advice...but no one would sign their names. These are the top three -- the preacher's wife, a natural blonde, is reading these: 3) "Janice shouldn't be the only one with dish pan hands". Now, after having worked at Burger King for over 5 years, I was no stranger to doing dishes or taking out trash, never mind cleaning house. Unfortunately, it's hard to get the energy or strength to do so nowadays. Getting old is not for sissies. 2) "Daryl, pray for the Second Coming (of The Lord). Jan, pray that it is soon!!". 1) "Violets are purple. Roses are red. When Daryl is blue...Jan, head for the bed!!". The preachers wife and I turned tomato red, and I said the S expletive. Yet, no one else heard me, as they were laughing so hard. I was ready to crawl under the table. Janice said "Oh, he's turning a much brighter shade of pink than he normally does!!". I was never so embarrassed and mortified in all my life. :P On the wedding day, I was up all night the night before, putting together the "bubble things". Instead of having rice to throw, we had these deals where you could do "bubbles". While I'm doing this, she was asleep on the Futon. Also, getting married should scare the crap out of a guy (it did me literally, with IBS, etc.). Well, after my digestive tract stabilized, I got dressed in my suit, and she had her bridal outfit boxed up to change into after we got there. Time wise, the service had just ended (I was late leaving the apartment), and as we walked in, we were greeted with "Ah!! The Bride And Groom!!". I said "Well, we're NOT married YET!!". We sat down to eat, and afterwards, the preacher said "I guess I need to go put my marryin' clothes on"...and, Jan headed back to a separate room to change into her bridal outfit. The preacher than came to me, and said "Let's just go over here in the corner, and quietly die!!"...to which, I replied "Thank you for the confidence boost, pastor". :P Her Mom, Dad, and grandmother had driven up from Apopka, Florida, just outside of Orlando for the wedding. Her Dad asked me where their daughter was, and I said "She's in the back getting dressed", and he said "I thought she had coppered out!!" . Afterwards, I told her that, and she said "I would've been dead meat had I done so!!". I did not invite my parents to the wedding, as they were against it. Yet, afterwards, when they saw how happy we were, they came around. So, at the wedding, I was so nervous (I had never been married before), that I put her engagement ring, her wedding ring, and my wedding ring, all on her finger. I was about to blurt out "Where the Hell is the other one??!!". The Good Lord is so Wise...the preacher calmly said "You're not supposed to put all the rings on her finger!!". I was still so nervous, that I nearly said "With this ring, I thee, bed". That would've gone over like a lead balloon...and my name would've been "mud" or something worse. :P But, when I sang "The Vows Go Unbroken" by the late Kenny Rogers, there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Afterwards, her Dad asked if he could get "one last kiss". I said "She may be my wife, but first and foremost, she is your daughter". Back to the wedding, we were trying to change out of our wedding attire (a photo is at http://www.wx4qz.net/jan.htm), and were having some trouble doing so. Our best man knocked on the door, and asked "What are you doing in there??". I wish I had had my wits about me, as I would've replied "Playing Strip Poker -- you want to join us??!!". Our honeymoon was at Lake DeGray State Park in southwest Arkansas, northeast of Arkadelphia, about 70 miles southwest of Little Rock. On Scenic Highway 7, there is a seafood restaurant called "The Fish Net". It frankly puts Red Lobster to shame...and if you leave there hungry, it's your own fault. We had planned a second honeymoon for our 4th wedding anniversary, but she died 3 weeks before, so we never got the chance. We had also planned a train trip down to Austin, Texas...the train trip for me ended up being a bereavement trip to Florida to bury her cremains. On the way back, there was this young couple across from me in the Dining Car (and the loneliness bug bit me big time!). The woman had a T-shirt on with this overly fat dachshund...so fat, that his belly was to the ground. The caption noted "Dachshund On Diet. Please Do Not Feed". I could hear my wife saying as clear as a bell "What Was Your First Clue??". I don't know if her Dad is still alive, but her Mom died just over a year after my Mom died...Jan died 2 1/2 months after my Dad had died... her grandmother died 7 months before my wife died, and my best man died just over 4 months after my wife died. Then, my brother was nearly killed in a freak motorcycle wreck not 3 months after my wife died. Needless to say, that was a very difficult year, emotionally. Daryl .... Chocolate lovers 12 step plan: Stay Less Than 12 steps from chocolate. === MultiMail/Win v0.52 --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32 * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (454:1/33) .