Subj : Re: (none)
To   : boraxman
From : Vk3jed
Date : Sun Jan 30 2022 20:50:00

-=> On 01-30-22 13:02, boraxman wrote to Atreyu <=-

 At> Let me tell you a story my friend. An eyewitness account of marriage.
 At>
 At> Sure, the idea of marriage is wonderful. Love and sex. Sex sex sex. Fuck
 At> all morning. All afternoon. All night. She tells you she loves you and
 At> it  really "means something". The honeymoon phase. *That* is what you

Responding to a couple of different peoples' opinions here.  I've been reading
with interest, and have my own opinions.  My perspective is quite different to
many here, because for many years, I _couldn't_ get married, even lost one
partner to cancer, before marriage was possible.  I also have the advantage of
not being dictated to gender roles.  Yes, same sex marriage does allow us more
freedome to define our marriage as we see fit.

First, prior to marriage, the relationships I had were functionally equivalent
to marriage - in fact, marriage itself didn't change a lot of the functional
aspects of us, but it did provide a measure of legal certainty and visibility
not previously afforded.  Do I regret marriage?  not in the slightest!  

 bo> And so on.

 bo> Yes, unmarried men, the grass does appear greener on the other side,
 bo> but Atreyu's story, is a common experience.

I've had the opposite experience to many - not much time single.  That's been
good in many ways, but it's given me less time to live with just myself.  Even
_trying_ to stay single didn't work.  The Universe seems to want to keep me in
relationships. :)

 bo> One thing to consider, its less, much less of a problem to transition
 bo> to single to married, than to reverse that decision.  You're better of
 bo> single than marrying the wrong person.  Far better off.

I agree with the latter part, but I also don't believe there is the "right"
person.  Instead, there's multiple possibilities.  It's a matter of people who
are (1) compatible, (2) who you end up meeting, and (3) that you can work with
to build a healthy marriage.

 bo> Who is the right person?  Not necessarily the one that initially
 bo> appears to be.

As I said, there's no "the tight person", but a number of compatible people. 
The fact that I have seen one relationship to the end and am now in a happy
marriage is testamane to there being more than one possibility.

 bo> I would dress better if I wasn't married because I wouldn't constantly
 bo> get "why are you dressing up, were only going to..." comments.

Haha I dress partly for practicality and partly to express who I am - sporty
and nerdy. :)


.... My Brain has too many tabs open...
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