Subj : woof woof
To   : All
From : George Pope
Date : Mon May 24 2021 11:16:50

Hey, everytbody!

Anyone here besides Daryl Stout & myself?

I'm going to try to recall these from memory. . .

A man ewas traveling long &fasr to see the world.  He was up a tall mountain
in t he Himalayas, seeking ultimate wisdom fro the gurus who lived up there.

He took refuge at a cabin, as a guest.  After a sumptuous meal of yak mutton
stew, he laid down on the austere straw-covered cot to sleep, but a haunting
humming like melody teased his mind.  He asked his host what the words
beingchanted were, & was told only the shamans of the sapphire stone were
allowed to know.

The traveller begged & begged, but always  got the answer, "You're not a
shaman of the sapphire stone."

Finally, he could stand it no longer & asked his hosdt to help him become 
such a shamnan, as he MUST know the words that echoed so sdtrongly in his
heart & mind.

Hisd host was secretly a recruiter, so began the training regimen 
immediately.

No straw on his bed & he could only eat & drink a single cup of broth a day.

Every dawn he had to get up & run a mile uphill, then crawl back on his 
belly.

After a month of this austerity, he begged to know the secret words, but was
told, "You are not a shaman of the sapphire stone."

He renewed his efforts to be brought in, continuing the previous regimen, but
now he had only half a cup of broth a day & had to run up 2 miles of 
mountain, crzwling back.

After 6 months he was given a yellow belt for his super itchy yak-hair robe

He asked if this meant he had passed & become worthy to know the secret 
chant.

"You are not a shaman of the sapphire stone."

Another 6 months, but now he had to walk across 100 metres of burning coals
every night before his 3 hours of sleep on a cold hard plank.

Another 6 months, but now he could only have the half cup of broth every
second day, & only allowed 1.5 hours of sleep each night.

Still the mystery haunted him & he begged to know the answer, figuring he 
MUST have completed the training & initiation by now.

His host slowely replied, "You are not a member of the shamans of the 
sapphire stone."

He continued his training, which only got harder by the month. . .

Finally, when he weighed only 45 pounds of lean skin & gristle, he was dunked
three times in a pool of yak urine, & proclaimed to be a shaman of the
sapphire stone. . .

His host led him to the secret chambers, deep in the mountain, following a
winding ever upwards path, until they found a cave only 15 inches high & 
wide.  He crawled in after his host, & they crawled for 18 hours up, down,
left, right, forward, & some times back in his original direction. . .

Finally they burst into a chamber made of pure sapphire & glowing like the
noonday sun.  He shaded his eyes from the painful blue glare. 
\
Ther chief shaman presented him with a sacred scroll containing the text of
the secret chant.  He had MADE IT!

In glee he awaited that night's chanting time.

At midnight he joined the circle of shamans & began walking around the 
pulsing central sapphire that seemed to be somehow alive & not only crystal.

As he began chanting the second line of the chant with his brethrebn, an
unearthly glow escaped the centre sapphire & engulfed our curious traveler.
Immediately he became all-knowing & immortal.

Do you want to know what that secret scroll said?

Sorry, I can't tell you; you're not a shaman of the sapphire stone.

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
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