Subj : Re: Eat What You Like To : George Pope From : Daryl Stout Date : Tue May 04 2021 22:20:00 George, > No kidding. There are country folks that say "you haven't lived until > you've walked barefoot through a cow pasture". Uh, no thanks. :P GP> I'd ask them if they can do it barefoot & blindfolded! Really. > There should've been a sign: > "WE AIM TO PLEASE -- YOU AIM, TOO....PLEASE." GP> One place I hung at had that & the other: GP> Ladies: Please say seated during the entire performance GP> Men: Stand close, it's shorter than you think. ROFL!! Good one!! Another guy noticed a man next to him in the urinal with a tattoo on his member...but all he saw was "W Y". So, out of curiousity, he asked about it, and it was his girlfriends name, Wendy (not sure if she was hot and juicy or not (yes, I did just go there! ). Well, the next week, it looked like it was another guy wity "W Y"...but his was "Welcome To Jamaica...Have A Nice Day". GP> I'm getting that (incontinence) too :( dang it all, can't I skip even GP> one of the frailties of age?! The ONLY "golden" thing about "The Golden Years" is the color of your urine. > No one has any concern for their fellow man or woman anymore. GP> You've noticed that, too, eh? Really sad, too. That's in relationships or otherwise. GP> Ditto for a bra., but I think the 80-year-old women might have no GP> choice, as that's where the twins have decided to move to. . . Keep me abreast on things from Dolly Parton and Morganna. > Hard to say...but when I was growing up, kids ate dirt, made mud pies, > etc., and built up resistance to all the germs. Nowadays, everything is > over-sanitized, so the kids have no chance to build up resistance or > immunity to these diseases. GP> He can weave a good tale -- pure poetry! If you can understand his use GP> of cusswords as just his personal type of commas. . . He is right, though. He also noted "If the #2 pencil is so popular, WHY is it STILL #2??". GP> Milder, or even zero, especially if you're treating your immune system GP> well (eating lots of fruits, vegetables, vitamin C, Zinc, garlic, GP> onion, ginger) I prefer the sweet onions (Vidalias). I can't handle the hot ones. The diet green tea I drink quite a bit of is a good source of Vitamin C and antioxidants. I saw a commercial for Pedigree pet food, and this little weiner dog says "Oh!! Antioxidants help me stay healthy!! I thought you said 'anti-dachshunds'". GP> No kidding! I'm pretty sure the burst appendix is bad enough on its GP> own. Never mind a perforated colon. GP> It got so when I talked to doctors they assumed I was one, too, as did GP> nurses (helps get the job done, but I still,to be legal, would correct GP> them, if they asked) My late wife had gone with a neighbor (who never graduated elementary school), to her doctor...and after the doctor told her neighbor what was going on, my wife asked her "Did you understand that??". When she replied "No", my wife growled "Ok, Doc, I understood it, but she didn't it. Would you mind saying it again in layman's terms??". GP> He took care of booking the OR, & the patient was fixed up & healing GP> within a day. My boss called me in the next day to say I saved the GP> guy's life. I just said, "Just followed my training, sir." Good for you. GP> I then realized I had a lot of power, even with no medical degree. . . Mine are Fahrenheint, Celsius, and Kelvin, below the numeric goose egg... 3 degrees below zero. GP> I've even learned to read doctor's writing(mostly, I've lerasrned how GP> to cheat if needed), as it's critical at times; I needed to send a GP> concise summary medical report on every one of my cases to our GP> principals overseas. I think of the meme noting "Doctors On Strike"...the picket signs are all done in shorthand. GP> A little lighthearted flirting with someone with sore feet working a GP> 12-hour night shift goes a long way! I heard of one nurse who had worked a 16 hour day Thursday night and Friday day. As she got off, she got her paycheck and went to the bank. But, she didn't have her writing utensil in her purse, but only a rectal thermometer. She growled "Some @$$h0le has got my pen". Several years ago (long before COVID-19), I was in the hospital (don't recall for what), but a lot of the ladies I square danced with were nurses on my ward!! You talk about getting grief and one's chain pulled!! GP> have translated that to use more diplomatic language, but my point was GP> made clear!) Sometimes, you have to get real graphic. GP> Nurses! Gotta love 'em! & puns (alreay love 'em) GP> Want to know why nurses like red crayons? GP> Sometimes they have to draw blood. Well, time to go visit Dracula. GP> Nurse: Sorry for the waiting GP> Any dad: No problem, I'm patient The woman is in labor, and the doctor asked "is this her first child?", and is told "No, this is her husband". Reminds me of the joke where this woman was in labor, and the OB-GYN says they want to try out a new method to transfer all the pain from childbirth from the mother to the father. Momma was definitely for it, and Dad had a high pain tolerance, so they did it. The doctor slowly increased the pain until the max....neither one had pain, and she delivered a healthy baby boy. When they got home, the milkman was found dead on the porch. GP> The nurse made my heart skip a beat GP> It was fine after she plugged the life support back in. Or you press the emergency call button, and when they all rush in, and you say "just wanted to see if you were there". And, if they give you that morphine, you may not even wear a gown...the way they are in the back, that's why they call it "I C U". GP> Nurse: A patient named Stephen has come into the hospital with acidosis GP> (meaning their blood has become too acidic) GP> Doctor: Stephen with a "ph"? GP> Nurse: Yes, a low one. I would say so (took me a moment on that one). GP> -=- GP> Nurse: Sorry for waiting GP> 14 year old son: don’t worry, I’m patient. GP> Me: proudly crying. GP> Nurse: Hi patient, I’m nurse Never mind taking a turn for the nurse. Daryl .... Floggings will continue until morale improves. === MultiMail/Win v0.52 --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32 * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33) .