Subj : Re: Nothing To Sneeze At To : Daryl Stout From : George Pope Date : Mon Apr 12 2021 12:32:16 > GP> For the women who feel obliged todo the stereotype I tell them: men > GP> have ages; women just have birthdays. > Not a bad way to look at it. Keeps them happy & delusional, just the way we like 'em! :D > GP> We give 'birth' to a jaggewd rock(dead, not even pretty, just a pointy > GP> ships' wheel) > If you have more than one, you name them "Sly And The Family Stone". More like Jaggy & the family of rolling stones. . . > > I saw a tagline that noted "Seen On A Baby Stroller: Poo-Poo Happens". > GP> Fair version or my goto: "feces occurs." > I said that at work years ago, and this woman I was working with (she > had just lost her first husband to colon cancer, but we were great friends), > looked at me like "WTH??". I translated it, and she busted out laughing; > saying "I'm going to tell my sister!!". The next morning, I asked her if > she told her sister, she busted out laughing, and said "Yep"...then I asked > "Same Reaction??", and she said "Yep". I said, to a buddy, when he was sad for dasys over his grandsma's death: "Hey, buddy, life goes on; of course, not for your grandmother, but for the rest of us. . ."; he glared, then smirked, then went back to crying, so I let him be. . . > GP> But most often we gravitate towards closing both seat & lid aftyer > GP> every use, so both must lift & both must lower -- fair & looks better, > GP> & when kids happen or visit, it's child-proofed. > It's no fun sitting in the water. :P > GP> I, when I was 6, sat without looking, & got a cold wet tush! > See what I mean?? This fulfills my point: LOOK before sitting & nobody gets a wet tushy! > GP> My doctor told me to watch my weight, so I've put it right out front > GP> where I can watch it easier! > I watch what I eat...from the plate to the mouth. It's tnot the minutes you spend at the table eating, it's the seconds that put on the weight. The best exercise is pushups; push up from the table before you're full. > GP> echos (the other was purely G-rated (grade 4 level language/situations > GP> only, & he'd kick you out for even a HINT of an infraction! > The kids are hearing far more than G-rated in elementary school now. We were in the '70s, already; I can only imagine what's being said nowadays! > GP> We Tried Getting Americans to Start Measuring Weight in Kilograms > GP> Instead of Pounds > GP> But they were very cagey about it. > Why would you want to kill a gram?? Like Adam Sandler sings: Gotta love your grandma. . . > Diet water has half the calories of regular water. Don't joke; there is "diet water" out there. Must be like when one peanuit buttert brtand put "cholesterol free" on their jars & outsold their neighbours on supermarket shelves. (most people had no clue that cholesterol = meat, not "any fat"; I will only eat vegetarian peanut butter; I do like meat, but only in meat courses) > At times, I have to poke holes in my belt to keep my pants from falling > off. The suspenders kept snapping off. Same; I lost the good pair I got years ago with 1" wide clawed clamps that did not let go, EVER! Now they're like 1/3" wide & won't bite & hold anything. I got a belt that has no loops -- you just plug the spindle/tongue in wherever you need to. > GP> My mother's sister can carry 50 times her own weight > GP> She's truly my aunt > That is a true pun. Yup; I love puns of all sorts(nearly) > They'll really be hip to it. Not may women call themselves "hippies" any more, since realizing it kinda means "fat" > The blonde had skid marks on her shirt, from getting run over > at the intersections. She crawled across, because the sign said > DON'T WALK. A politician was found dead on the road, beside him was a businessman. How did the cops tell which was which? A: skid marks in front of the non-pol. Also, a witness heard the lawyer get hit &described it like this, "rawrrr, thup-thup, screech, thup-thup, screech, thup-thup. . ." Your friend, <+]:{)} Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2) .