Subj : Re: Good News And Bad New To : Daryl Stout From : George Pope Date : Mon Apr 12 2021 11:45:12 > GP> I remember most from my childhood, mot often on the erstwile Saturday > GP> Morning Cartoons. (they brought an hour a week back of my faves -- > GP> HB/WB toons); but they're too predictable now, so I got bored & just > GP> watch GSN instead, as that's my fam's preference. > I like the classic game shows, but some are rather "dorky". :P Now they're remaking a bunch, like Chain Reaction, which I always liked (I like to see how much of the chain I can get before they pop initial letters in!) My fave games are trivia-based (Jeopardy, Millionaire, The Chase, etc) as I can play along & learn things. > GP> Or, pointing out the cause of the huge intewrstate sinkhole, the expert > GP> pointed at first one then another senaor,m saying, "It wasn't his > GP> fault, wasn't her fault, it was ASPHALT." as he pointed to the state > GP> highways commissioner. > Or the pothole repair truck fell into a huge pothole. That's usually an indication that they waited too long to go fix it! > GP> God smiles & replies, "I sent you two boats & a helicopter; what more > GP> did you want? > I've heard a variant of that. It's a good joke & moral lesson, all in one! (like Mike Warnke's standup from the '70s & '80s) I like his retelling of classic tales like when Elijah challenmged the priests of Baal, by hacving a fduel of lighting a sacrifice on fire, from Heaven. The Baalites prepared a mighty altar & danced & shrieked to get their god to take tyhe offering. Elijah stands off to the side, laughing, yelling, "Call louder. Maybe he's sleeping!" Finally, he gets bored, & places the slaughtered lamb on a pile of wood, soaks it in water, fills the moat around it with water, &, no hisdtrionics like the pagans, he just prays, "Lord, prove your might by accepting this offering to Your glory." & WHOOOSH!! a gout of flame from Heaven devoured the altar, lamb, wood, amnd water all at once. I expect Warnke, now, would finish by having Elijah turn to the Baalites with a hearty, "BOOYA, DITCHES!!!" I also like how he t old the Jonah story: Jonah was in t he belly of tyhe greast fish for 72 hours, likely sitting in digestive fluids, bleaching his skin in patches, rotting parts of his clothing. Finally the fish upchucks him out of ts mouth towards shore where the Ninevites were gathered, just watyching this spectacle of a man, with seaweed & stomach acids dripping out of his hair & beard, slowly, wade towards shore, then lifts up one hand, likewise dripping, & intones, "REPEEEENT!" (I picture a crowd's worth of fertilizer suddenly making an appearance behind closed loincloths!) > GP> That's the standard. The first shot will provide you some immunity. > GP> Here they're delaying second shots to ensure more get the first one > GP> ASAP. > I saw a story, where you have 90% protection with both shots, but only > 80% with just one. Sounds about right. BC is trying to get more people at 80% before going the 2nbd to give (95% is what I heard the max efficacy is, with Pfizer & Moderna near it, & Astro-Zeneca closer to 90%) > GP> I usually don't have this problem; I arrive 30-609 minutes early & sit > GP> & read whichever book I'm currently reading in Overdrive on my phone > GP> (librry books, usually) ; often, if my doc sees me, she'll take me in > GP> sooner & I'm done & on with my day quicker. > 609 minutes early?? You must get there the night before. 30-60 minutesl it's tough typing when you only have one working hand! > GP> Sam Walton (Wal-Mart) thought similarly & look how big he got! > He's surely turning over in his grave now. Not sure; his family still has controlling stock & are filthy rich. What else does he want? Their excuse would be the changing mores of the American/global cxonsumer, demanding cheaper & cheaper, so everything's msade in China now (you've seen that story of the world's largest shipping vessel arriving full in USA, but returning empty? Dumbasses! > > Or where the little baby preferred "the natural milk" from his Momma's > > breasts, rather than from the milk bottle that Daddy had in his hand. > GP> I think we all do(did! I meant DID! HONEST!! > Thanks for the mammaries, it was the breast of times...and I don't want > to nipple this in the bud. Bud Light? Funny thing, you can get milk & make cheese & cream from ANY mammal(by definition); I wonder howe many rat farms are currently producing what percentage of our commercial milk?); I could traihn rats to hook themselves up to tiny auto-start milk pumps, so so could anyone else, especially if it's their business! > GP> It's all about what's in y our heart. Sounds like you're saying, to > GP> God, "if there MUST be severe weather, let it only harm those who wish > GP> for it or otherwise deserve it(got to be careful with that -- we all > GP> deserve 'spankings')(disciplinary, not punitive.) > I didn't say they deserve it...they are "asking for it". So, let them > have it. It is true that you should "Be Careful What You Ask For". Semantics. If you ask for $10/hour at a job & get it, you asked for it & you deserve(earned) it! If yo then whine the m ext guy over is getting paid $15/hour, you may be reminded of the parable of the disgruntled worker. > GP> Jesus' trial was not a legal Jewish court. > GP> 1) theryu trierd him t he day they arrested him (they woke the judges); > GP> the rule is to wait 24 hours on capitakl cases to begin the trial.) > GP> 2) the elder of the sahedrin spoke first (the ;law says the youngest > GP> speaks first, as if the elder does, he will influence the younger/less > GP> experienced) 3) They did not wait 24 hours to execute. > GP> 4) the highest law of the region (Pilate) gave him the max 40 lashes > GP> with a whip. Rome invented the Double Indemnity prortection; once > GP> convicted & sentence is carried out, you cannot be tried or sentenced > GP> on the same charge again. But he then ordered the execution, quite > GP> illegally by Roman AND Jewish law. > Pilate acquitted Jesus 4 times, but the Pharisees would settle for > nothing less than Jesus' execution. One author wrote a book called > "The Illegal Trial Of Jesus", showing the 18 Jewish Laws that were > broken. Sounds like that book may have been the source for the article I read. Yup, it was in no way a Jewish trial. It was a Roman kangaroo court. It even broke Roman laws! > > There was another joke on that, but it escapes me offhand. > GP> Anything to do with being used as a bike rack? > Yeah, that's the one!! Looks like we've both been reading/hearing humour to hold up in trying times. It(humour) saved my lifwe, I believe. I was despondent after realizing I was crippled forever, but I discovered standup comedy on my TV, & watched 1-3 hours/day, depending on the day & available shows. A few of those, then-famous, comics are still going(like CarrotTop) but some (like The Amazing Jonathan(my then-fave) have moved on &/or died) Now I get most of my standup fix on YouTube, replaying favorite shows or going through a bunch of shows by one comic (right now it's this hilarious Brit lady(Sarah Millican), who sounds like a Mother Goose type, but has a filthy, but funny, mouth on her. She really knows how to work the audiences! If interested: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsJd3oh_1pgv5gN7DwYxwqQ Caroline Kostnar is the last vlogger I've watched -- she's funny, especially for a teenager. . . I've liked & listened to various funny vloggers over the years. . . But prefer good stage acts. . . Dry Bar has lots of good acts, all clean comedy. . . (takes place in SLC, UT) > > Talk about telling them to "Kiss My Glass". > GP> Or "Never waste good scotch" > There was a linguist who won a trip around the world and a supply > of Scotch for his comment. > You have the words "complete", "finished", and "completely finished". > You'd think all of that was basically the same. He said that this is > what those mean: > 1) When you marry the right woman, you're complete. > 2) When you marry the wrong woman, you're finished. > 3) When your wife catches you with another woman, you're completely > finished. I was complete well enough before mariage, but now I'm completer! > ... "If you don't have a sense of humor, you're better off dead". -R. Rabbit He's not wrong. . . Laughter is the best medicine; unless you have diabetes, then insulin is the best medicine. . . Your friend, <+]:{)} Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2) .