Subj : Re: Good News And Bad New To : Daryl Stout From : George Pope Date : Tue Apr 06 2021 09:25:16 > George, > GP> Oh, that's going back. . . good old Hanna Barbera - I only watch their > GP> Flintstones now. On occasion. > I'm really showing my age now...let's see... > 1) Quick Draw McGraw (aka El Kabong) and Babba Louie > 2) Huckleberry Hound > 3) Touche' Turtle (and Dum Dum) > 4) Pixie and Dixie (and Mister Jinks) > 5) Lippy The Lion (and Hardy Har-Har) > 6) Wally Gator > 7) Yogi Bear (and Boo Boo) > 8) The Flintstones > 9) The Jetsons I remember most from my childhood, mot often on the erstwile Saturday Morning Cartoons. (they brought an hour a week back of my faves -- HB/WB toons); but they're too predictable now, so I got bored & just watch GSN instead, as that's my fam's preference. > GP> More the point of view he thought he was breinging his most valuable > GP> possessions, but in Heaven it's just asphalt ("the streets are paved > GP> with gold") > To me, asphalt is when you hit the tennis ball with your butt . That works. Or, pointing out the cause of the huge intewrstate sinkhole, the expert pointed at first one then another senaor,m saying, "It wasn't his fault, wasn't her fault, it was ASPHALT." as he pointed to the state highways commissioner. > GP> Another one I like is the rich old miser who died. Peter is aking him > GP> to his heavenly home. > [snip] > GP> "To be honest, sir," replied Peter, "We did the best we could with what > GP> you've sent us." (store up your treasure in Heaven. . .) > I love funny jokes that have an obvious moral in them, like the huge flood in New Orleans(let's say) The waters rose & rose u ntil 4 feet deep. Qa neighbour cvame by Joe-Bob's h ome & said, "hop into my boat, & I'll paddle us both to high ground." Joe-Bob replied, "No thank you; my trust is in the Lord." & sent the boat away. Then the water r ose to eaves-level & another neighbour came by in a canoe, offering a ride. Joe-Bob was adamant, "No. I will stay - the good Lord will provide for my safety." The water kept rising, until it was up to Joe-Bob's chest, while standing on hs chimney. A news helicopter lowered a ladder & told him to grab hold. Again, Joe-Bob avers his faith & trust that God will provide. The waters kept rising, until Joe-Bob's treading water failed & he slipped under & drowned. Up in Heaven he demanded to see God,crying out, "HEY!!! I trusted in you. I prayer that you'd p[rovide me safety from the fllod & you let me DIE??" God smiles & replies, "I sent you two boats & a helicopter; what more did you want? A pastor once taught me: If you work without prayer, you rob God; If you pray without work, you mock God. You need to trust, yes, but you also need to do your part. > For sure. I went ahead and paid both his and my personal property tax > and real estate tax today (his was cheaper than mine). So, I met him for > lunch today to tell him I had paid it. He said "I never got a bill", and > I said "I had them sent to me, so they wouldn't get lost". I told him > what I paid, and he reimbursed me. I went and put that back into the bank. Family suporting family -- as it should be! Friends are fgamily you choose for yourself; family are friends you have no choice on. > I called one of the medical folks, and they said I could go out between > the shots for errands, etc., as long as I had a mask on. That's the standard. The f irst shot will provide you some immunity. Here they're delaying second shots to ensure more get the first one ASAP. > GP> Nothing wrong with naps -- if you need one & your life allows you to > GP> fit it in, take it! > Frequent naps prevent old age...especially if taken while driving. > Or "I want to die like my grandfather did...in his sleep. Not like the > other passengers in his car that were screaming". Or my great-uncle, who was a pilot -- same story. . . > I'd rather be early, because if you're more than 10 minutes late to > many clinics, they charge you a no show fee, you have to reschedule, > and you may have to wait several weeks to get in again. I usually don't have this problem; I arrive 30-609 minutes early & sit & read whichever book I'm currently reading in Overdrive on my phone (librry books, usually) ; often, if my doc sees me, she'll take me in sooner & I'm done & on with my day quicker. > That reminds me of years ago in New England, this major textile production > plant, caught fire just before Thanksgiving...putting all the employees out > of work, and it looked like they wouldn't have any money for Thanksgiving, > Christmas, etc., and wouldn't be back to work until the spring. > Well, the owner...a Jewish man...decided to go ahead and pay all of the > employees during the rebuilding...as the insurance quickly settled for > repairs. When they reopened in the spring, the employees were ready to > kiss his feet..."When do you want us to work for you??". He was there > for them when they needed him...now, they were ready to return the favor. This is how it used tobe & still should be. I say financial success is 3 things: 1) Take care ofthe customer, put him first 2) take care of your staff, without them you're nothing. 3) Your bottom line/profits will then take care of themselves. Sam Walton (Wal-Mart) thought similarly & look how big he got! > GP> Oh, that'd bhe fine -- make for juicier meat on the grill, eh? I say > GP> "as useless as a nun's uterus"; nuns' tits are usefgul as they > GP> idfentify her as a female & model what one looks like to wee kids in > GP> her charge. > Or where the little baby preferred "the natural milk" from his Momma's > breasts, rather than from the milk bottle that Daddy had in his hand. I think we all do(did! I meant DID! HONEST!! > If we knew of all the money under the table, we'd be furious. But, on > Judgment Day, whether done in secret or in the open, there will be "No > Question Of Guilt". My dad taught me: Leave God's things to God; you just worry about your little chores. > Revenge is a dish best served cold. No revenge -- that's against God's plans for us. We can be, IMO, happy that God has proved His promise is good ("Revenge is mine. _I_[alone] will repay." > Some say that I'm doing that when it comes to hazardous weather...be it > for tornadoes, large hail, damaging winds, and flooding rain during > tornado season or hurricanes...or snow and ice for winter storms. > Basically, for those who are WANTING the severe or winter weather, > let THEM experience the property damage, injury, death, etc. -- as > they were wanting it (to prove "Be Careful What You Ask For"). For > those who do NOT want the hazardous weather (like myself, and so > many others), may they be spared from it. It's all about what's in y our heart. Sounds like you're saying, to God, "if there MUST be severe weather, let it only harm those who wish for it or otherwise deserve it(got to be careful with that -- we all deserve 'spankings')(disciplinary, not punitive.) > GP> The rules for the Sanhedrin (Israel's Supreme Court of 70 elders) state > GP> that if you can't find at least 2-3 reasons to exonerate a man for a > GP> murder charge, you don't deserve to be a judge. & you should vote to > GP> acquit." > None of that was followed in Jesus' trial. In short, Jesus wasn't the > Messiah that the Pharisees were looking for. When they told Him to tell > His Disciples to be quiet, He said "If they do, the rocks and stones > will cry out". Jesus' trial was not a legal Jewish court. 1) theryu trierd him t he day they arrested him (they woke the judges); the rule is to wait 24 hours on capitakl cases to begin the trial.) 2) the elder of the sahedrin spoke first (the ;law says the youngest speaks first, as if the elder does, he will influence the younger/less experienced) 3) They did not wait 24 hours to execute. 4) the highest law of the region (Pilate) gave him the max 40 lashes with a whip. Rome invented the Double Indemnity prortection; once convicted & sentence is carried out, you cannot be tried or sentenced on the same charge again. But he then ordered the execution, quite illegally by Roman AND Jewish law. But JC was okay with it, as it was the role he chose for his beloveds. > > I thought a sneeze was known as a booger holler. > GP> That works, & a fart is a cry for help from a turd in trouble; or an > GP> audio test of your waste disposal system! Or a barking frog. > Or like from "Caddyshack" -- "did somebody step on a duck??". Or where > one small duck was behind another one, who was apparently bent over, and > he told the other one "I can see your quack". I never laughed quite so hard(o tears) as when walking with someone who was helping me pick out modern clothing at K-Mart, let out a LOUD butt bark &, without missing a beat, points up into the distance & ytells, "GEESE!" (recall, we're inside a store -- that took balls!); I almost hit the ground, I was laughing so hard! > I think of the one where the pastor was trying to raise money for the > building fund to expand the church facilities. So, before the church > service, he wired all the pews with electricity...and had the main > control box in the pulpit. > He gets up there and says "Now, all you men and brethren, who feel > led of The Lord to give $100 to the new building, stand up". He > pushed a button, and 20 people sprang to their feet (like they had > a choice??!! ). > "Excellent!!" the pastor said. He continued and said "Now, all you > men and brethren, who feel led of The Lord to give $500 to the new > building, stand up". He pushed another button, and 30 people sprang > to their feet!! > "Fine, Fine!!" the pastor beamed. He continued with "Now, all you > men and brethren, who feel led of The Lord to give $1000 to the new > building, stand up". > He pulled the Master Control Switch, and electrocuted 14 deacons!! > . There was anotyher pastor who asked for a pledge from the tichest member, to fix the roof. Richie Rich stood up & said, "I pledge $500 towards the roof repair fund." Just then a piece of ceiling fell,hitting him on the head & he added, "Make that $5,000."; another piece & he says, "Ok, $20,000" The pastor raised his eyes to Heaven & cried, "Hit him again, Lord!" > GP> I used to say I want to be buried upside down so those who hate me can > GP> kiss my butt! > There was another joke on that, but it escapes me offhand. Anything to do with being used as a bike rack? > GP> Fred & Mark were talking & agreed to put aside two premium bottles of > GP> 40year scotch for when either one dies & to pour it on their grave. > GP> "You don't mind," says Mark, "if I pass it through my kidneys first, do > GP> yas?" > Talk about telling them to "Kiss My Glass". Or "Never waste good scotch" Three men accepted a 4th's estate in cash, promnisding to put their 1/3 of it into his grave with him wagfter he died. Afterwards, they met & conferred: man1: I gotta admit, I only put in half of the moey & kept the rest o upgrade my house." man2: That's okay, I only put in a quarter, figuring he won't need the rest. man3: You two DISGUST me! I put in a cheque for the full amount! Your friend, <+]:{)} Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2) .