Subj : Re: Good News And Bad New To : Daryl Stout From : George Pope Date : Mon Apr 05 2021 12:48:20 > George, > > It would seem so...never mind the goodies in the picnic basket. > GP> Oh, get your mind out of the gutter (errm, the 'picnic basket') > That's what Yogi Bear always wanted...not sure if he ever got that, as > Boo-Boo was always admonishing him, as was "Mister Ranger". Oh, that's going back. . . good old Hanna Barbera - I only watch their Flintstones now. On occasion. > GP> He opens it, sees the gold, & exclaimed, "PAVEMENT! Why would you bring > GP> pavement?!" > Really...I doubt there are potholes in Heaven. More the point of view he thought he was breinging his most valuable possessions, but in Heaven it's just asphalt ("the streets are paved with gold") Another one I like is the rich old miser who died. Peter is aking him to his heavenly home. They see a large home ahead; the miser thinks, "Looks about 20 rooms; I can manage, I guess"; he asks, "Is that my new home?" Peter says, "Nope, that's for your gardener, yours is farther ahead" Thwey see an 80-room house looming in the near distance. "Is that my new home Jesus prepared for me?" "Nope, not yet, that's for your chauffeur," "My oh my" thinks the miser, "if my chauffeur & gardener got those, how much better is mine going to be?" Finally they come upon a tiny one-man pup tent. "Here's your new home, sir" said Peter. "WHAAT??? This is IT? But my servants gpt those beautiful mansions? Why isd this all I get?" "To be honest, sir," replied Peter, "We did the best we could with what you've sent us." (store up your treasure in Heaven. . .) > > I like the joke around tax time, where the guy goes deer hunting... > > because he can always send the IRS a couple of bucks. > GP> Oh, don't do that; my boss told me of a neighbour who gave the property > GP> inspctor some venison as a goodwill gift once, from then on in, he HAD > GP> to give him more & more venison, else get an expensive audit. > Oh, boy. I never cared for venizen or hunting. My brother used to, before > he got so bummed up after a freak motorcycle wreck 3 months after my wife > died (it nearly killed him). He lives out in the county, and one time, there > was a deer in his yard...so, here comes "the big brave naked deer hunter" > . Soundd like he was the butt of much family ribbing for a while, eh? I've never had venison, & I'm okay with that. I prefer my meat animals be slaughtered humanely(clean, quick, & painless, as per Torah law) > > With my first of two COVID-19 shots today, I postponed the rest of my > > medical stuff until mid-May...allowing 3 weeks after both shots. > GP> Wise. One thing at a time for your body to deal with, eh? :) > No real reaction to the first Pfiezer shot...although the long drives the > day before, combined with a big lunch before I took the shot, made me > sleepy. So, it was nap time when I got home. Nothing wrong with naps -- if you need one & your life allows you to fit it in, take it! > GP> Glad it worked out to your satisfaction. > I would've liked more, but the setup kept me from being overdrawn. So you won, in a way. . . > > Remember...boss spelled backwards is double S.O.B. > GP> I never forget. Although I'm blessed now with a good boss (the big > GP> boss(owner) anyway) > A former Sysop (cancer killed him over a year ago), was working at the > answering service that his late wife started. One guy was complaining, > and said he wanted to talk to his supervisor. He was told to hang on, > while he went to get him. While the complainer is on hold, this guy goes > outside to smoke a cigarette. He comes back inside, and answers the > phone. The complainer says "You're the Supervisor??", and when told "Yes", > he growled "I want to talk to the owner". Again, he's told to hold on for > a minute...and the guy goes out for another smoke. Then, comes back and > answers the phone. Talk about chief cook and bottlewasher. I've done similiar, up to supervisor anyway, & then took a mesage for my boss & recommended he just toss it (he did) > GP> God provides; nice! Congrats! > I was really wondering. I just hope I don't have to pay any income tax. Here's hoping & praying. . . I had a bill sneak up on me nme year, sas I'd done volunter work for one org that gave me a $50 honorarium each month. That $600 was counted as "self employment income" so got factored differently from "employment income" & suddenly, instead of getting a big refundcheque, I had to pay $19! (I did, whatever) > GP> It's about that frivolous; they CHOSE to leave their house late that > GP> day. > Yep. When I was taking Uber, I allowed 30 minutes prior to the > appointment, so if there were delays, I had a bit of a cushion. Smart man! I've arrived as much as 2 hours early for work or job interview, because t he buses actually ran n time! (I always have books on my phone to read while waiting, & I usually get in early for interviews or other appointments; for work, I split the extra time between reading+coffee & hitting my desk early to prep for the day ahead. . . I thought, as many, that my extra efforts were an noticeable as a man peeing his dark pants in a dark room, but when I asked for 4 hours off work(unpaid)to pick up my step daughter from the airport, my boss told me to take the day off, with pay,. & explained, "I know what happens around here. I see you arrive early & stay late. . . Call this a thank you." > GP> I picture myself as a boss: > GP> Me: "You're late again." > GP> Employee: "the bus broke down, then the skytrain(commuter light rail) > GP> had delays." > GP> Me: "I don't pay the transit company to get you here on time. I pay > GP> YOU to be here on time. . or do I?" > True. I've never met a boss like this, but I consider it reasonable & fair. The unions, of course, not so much. They've closed companies for lesser 'infractions'! > GP> Oh it's logical: They're claiming wghatever leads to greates safety. > GP> You can be hit with "driving dangerously" for not matching flow of > GP> traffic. > That makes as much sense as tits on a boar hog. Oh, that'd bhe fine -- make for juicier meat on the grill, eh? I say "as useless as a nun's uterus"; nuns' tits are usefgul as they idfentify her as a female & model what one looks like to wee kids in her charge. > GP> I knew a guy who came from US, where he was part of the federal group > GP> that made the 55MPH federal(interstates) speed limit. He consulted with > GP> our government to show them how many millions of % they could make with > GP> every 5MPH the speed lmit was artificially lowered. It always was a > GP> cash grab. > It always is. It's just so bad that they sit down & discuss it in those terms behind secrecy doors. No, buddy, you work for ME(as an example), you include me in the workings! > GP> To push for cops being allowed to "phone it in"? Hopefully the first > GP> few people dinged can aford a lawyer good enough to make a good > GP> Constitutional challenge. > One ham radio operator, using the mode of APRS with his GPS, proved in > court that he wasn't speeding. The judge dismissed the charge. Nice. How many ca do that, eh? I knew a gal, who got a tickety for passing o the right to make a right turn on a weird constructioni zoned street. She showed up in court with video of various cops doing the same & worse on that street (without lights or sieens on, so it wasn't part of the job); fine dismissed & cops castigated in open court! Sweet! I love when justice occurs! Or I just hate when injustice happens & am happy to see the injustice be stymied. I try not to wish harm on anyone. > GP> He explained how it's his job to enforce these laws and asked how he > GP> was supposed to "let it go" if her speeding led to others speeding, > GP> leading to a dead kid on the road? She clammed up & aploogized. > Most people only see one side of the argument. Yup. I always try to see through the others' eyes. The rules for the Sanhedrin (Israel's Supreme Court of 70 elders) state that if you can't find at least 2-3 reasons to exonerate a man for a murder charge, you don't deserve to be a judge. & you should vote to acquit." > GP> Yup, I don't answer Nature's Call; I jump to attention at Nature's > GP> Holler! > I thought a sneeze was known as a booger holler. That works, & sa fasrt is a cry for help from a turd in trouble; or an audio test of your waste disposal system! Or a barking frog. > > > Hallitosis is better than no breath at all. :P > > GP> True. > > Like the commercial for a new box of baking soda in the icebox to > > eliminate odors. "Onion Power...Ahhhhh". > GP> ?? > The box of baking soda had been in the icebox a long time, and it was > no longer masking the food odors from getting to other foods (i.e. fish, > onions, etc.). Ahh, it had absorbed its weight in stink & now stunk itself? Eww. . .I hatet when I catch a whiff of those! > GP> Not usually. I've decided that "Everyone dies some time" but I'm not > GP> going to bother. > Everyone wants to go to Heaven, but no one wants to die. Pastyor was gioving a impsassioned sermon & went on to say, "all those who expect to go to Heaven, please line up along the green wall" Most did, then he said, "All those who hope to go to Heaven, line up on the red wall." All but one went. The pastor addressed him, "Mr. Smythe, don't you want to go to Heaven when you die?" "OH!@!! When I die! Of course; I thought you were lining them up to go right now!" > GP> "I'm no afraid of dying. I just don't want to be there when it > GP> happens" --M. Twain > Just like the late Joe Diffie's song "Prop Me Up Beside The Jukebox If > I Die" -- you can pay your respects one quarter at a time. I used to say I want to be buried upside down so those who hate me can kiss my butt! Fred & Mark were talking & agreed to put aside two premium bottles of 40year scotch for when either one dies & to pour it on their grave. "You don't mind," says Mark, "if I pass it through my kidneys first, do yas?" Your friend, <+]:{)} Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2) .