Subj : Re: Metric Dozen To : George Pope From : Daryl Stout Date : Thu Apr 01 2021 14:47:00 George, GP> Wooden nickels became popular in the 1930s though they may date back as GP> far as the 1880s. During the Great Depression, banks in both Tenino and GP> Blaine Washington issued emergency currency printed on thin shingles of GP> wood due to coin shortages. Interesting. I guess I should've offered monopoly money. > So much for giving you the bird. GP> I took the birsd & cookerd it -- it was delicoius. I would've thought the feathers would've tickled on the way down. :P GP> "But, dad, that was a $500 rare parrot, it could speak 15 languages!" GP> I replied, "Well then why didn't it say something?" That brings some parrot jokes to mind. 1) This woman bought this one parrot, but was warned by the pet store clerk that the bird constantly cussed. She firmly said "I'll break him of it". Well, she gets him home, and it's "answer the d**m door!!" or "answer the f*****g phone!!". Each time, she grabs him, and puts him in the deep freeze. After a time for him to cool off (in more ways than one), she lectures the bird, and sternly said "I warned you what I'd do if you cursed. Do we understand now??". The bird, shaking violently, uttered "Yes, ma'am". On Sunday, the preacher and his wife came over for lunch, and it was a turkey dinner and all the trimmings. The parrot was in a cage way above the table, and noted the "basted bird", and said "What'd you do?? Say g*****n??". 2) A preacher and his wife had a rare male parrot that they wanted to breed, but the bird always said "Let's Pray". Well, the preacher's wife found a female parrot that said "Let's Neck". So, they put the birds in the cage together, and it went like this: Male Parrot: "Let's Pray". Female Parrot: "Let's Neck". Male Parrot: "My prayers have been answered". 3) This guy had a parrot, and taught him to ask whenever someone came to the door "Who Is It??". The person at the door would then answer, and the owner would decide to open the door or not. Well, the owner had a plumbing issue at the house, but needed to get some stuff from the store. He figured he'd run down the street to the store before the plumber arrived. Well, as soon as he was out of sight, here comes the plumber. The plumber knocks on the door, and the parrot asks "Who Is It??". The man replies "It's the plumber!!". Well, there's no response, so the guy knocks again, and the parrot again asks "Who Is It??". The man again replies "It's the plumber!!". This goes on repeatedly, and the plumber gets his blood pressure up so much, that he collapses on the front porch. About that time, the home owner arrives, and sees the downed man on the porch, and asks "Who Is It??", and the parrot replies "It's The Plumber". > We're still in trouble, because with 2021, 2020 won. GP> Yup, good one! I'm in one of my nether moods. > I guess that's what the Chinese are doing for a COVID-19 check > (anal swabs). Talk about "Turning The Tide". :P GP> anal swabs with bleach (aka The Trumptard Methodology)? Well, if that doesn't kill the germs, nothing will. > Or like the meme where there is male and female pod of peas. > The male is tickling the female...she screams "STOP!!", as she > is "peeing all over the place". GP> That'd do it! GP> If someone asks you, "Are you ticklish?" it doesn't matter how you GP> answer, they're going to touch you. (unless you answer, "I have GP> explosive diarrhea") Then, threaten to drop your pants and underwear right before you "fire off the first volley". > Or like the guy who wakes up in the morgue, and wonders "If I'm > alive, what am I doing here?? If I'm dead, how come I have to go > to the bathroom??". GP> A quandary: Schroedinger's Morgue drawer? It would seem so. GP> Nice one! Microsoft ha to be the only OS company who makes software GP> that's incompatible with the systen(their own) it's meant to run on! I guarantee you if M$ ever put in a deal to disable any competing software (browser, utility, etc.), forcing you to use Edge, Office, etc., folks would be leaving Windows in droves. GP> Visra was a pip: I'd close MSIE when done & I'd get a popup "Internet GP> Explorer has closed. . .restarting" (DAHELLL???) I called it Internut Exploder. GP> I recall back in Windows 3.0 there was the ubiquitous "Unavoidable GP> Application Error"(the infamous "UASE") which locked everything up GP> (much like a BSD in later(98&ff) versions) There's a utility from IObit software (I use many of their programs) that'll take care of uninstalls, and other things, when it says "Windows can't do this". GP> Fixed = changed the name to General Protecton Fault (GPF--divide by GP> zero by any other name) There are likely some who think you can get something when dividing by nothing. GP> No excuse, when I programnmed (Vic=20, in BASIC) I checked all my GP> integers, variable contents, & equations for validity. That's part of GP> the job! In a batchfile or program code, one missed letter, integer, number, etc., will make all the difference in the world. GP> But he digestivce juices work very slowly; I've seen flies rescued a GP> minute or two after being trapped inside (I know -- why, right?) I'll say. Maybe they should invent a big one for a means of execution for the thugs. > He was arrested, and at the trial, it was learned his name was Hugh. > They asked why he set the place ablaze, and he replied "Only Hugh can > prevent florist friars". GP> He wasn't wrong. Not at all. GP> Amen! I love my turkey -- always buy one too big for our family -- I GP> love the leftovers! Being an amateur radio operator, when I eat ham, I'm cannibalistic. GP> Old budy would set a mirror up on the table when dining alone. He GP> explains to the waitresses who ask, "I like to eat with good looking GP> people & have intelligent dinner conversation" I talk to myself when I need expert advice. GP> Another guy went to the snootiest restaurant in Calgarty. When the GP> waiter asked howe he wanted his steak he said, "Just blow its nose, GP> wipe its arse, & lead that ****** in here!" Wow. GP> I have photographic memory, bu they don't make that kind of film any GP> more (even when they did, I kept forgetting the lens cap was on) Like the blondes looking for the film in the digital camera. Daryl .... Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale? === MultiMail/Win v0.52 --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32 * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33) .