Subj : Re: Good News And Bad New
To   : Daryl Stout
From : George Pope
Date : Thu Apr 01 2021 08:28:56

 > George,

 >  GP> Funny stuff from your church bulletin?

 >   It makes you wonder where they minds were.

Oh, I've known(none "Biblically") a few church secretaries -- I *KNOW* where
their minds were! *LOL* 

 >  GP> More good news bad news:

 >  GP> Good:
 >  GP> The postman's early
 >  GP> Bad:
 >  GP> He's wearing fatigues and carrying an AK47
 >  GP> Worse:
 >  GP> You gave him nothing for Christmas
 >  GP> -=-

 >   So much for getting that refund check and package on time. <G>

Have you got all you're due from those?

 >  GP> Bro, I got good news and bad news
 >  GP> Just gimme the good news bro.
 >  GP> The air bags in your car worked perfectly.
 >  GP> -=-

 >   Mine didn't deploy in the wreck I was involved in 3 months ago.
 > I wasn't at fault, but while I got "a mere pittance" in the
 > settlement, at least they paid the $9100 chiropractic bill.

Yeah, insurance comnpanieds already prnt money, but that's not good enough --
they want MORE! (it's "love of money" I think)

A good friend of mine, recently passed, was a lawyer who exclusively worked 
to sue the government auto insurance co here.  He made a good living, with
zero lost cases in 50 years - that shows how wrong this insuiranceco is on
average! 

They caught on & cheated, now passed a law making it illegal to dispute their
findings (they're always right i they're not proved wrong in a court of law,
right *sigh*)

Anmother buddy, a cabbie, got hit buy a drunk at 02h30 on 01/01 (oh, sorry, I
forgot youse puts the dates goofy: make that on 01/01); his wheelchair van 
cab was totaled($186,000 gone!); the insuranceco is giving him $10K
replacement value. :(

Criminal.  I don't drive, so I'm good. . . 

 >  GP> Wife: I got good news, dear.
 >  GP> Husband: Wut?
 >  GP> Wife: The airbags in our car work.
 >  GP> -=-

 >   I can't say the same for the car. :P

That's the joke.

 >  GP> Bad news: a message in German sent 110 years ago by homing pigeon was
 >  GP> just found.
 >  GP> Worse news: it was an acceptance letter to art school.
 >  GP> -=-

 >   Or the homing pigeon decided to walk instead of flying to deliver the
 > message, because "it was such a nice day". <G>

& Hitler started WW2, some say, because he wasn't accepted into art school..

 >  GP> Doctor: “I have some bad news and some good news.”
 >  GP> Me: “What’s the bad news doc?”

 >  GP> Doctor: “I have to amputate your left foot.”

 >  GP> Me: “What’s the good news?”

 >  GP> Doctor: “You are going to start the new year on the right foot.”

 >    That's like the sculpture with a left and right foot made out of
 > winter precipitation -- you have two feet of snow. <G>

I love that one! I have it here somewhere; I'd include it if we were chatting
in regular email(internet)

 > ... Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got.

Hyperchondria is much better (excessively good health)

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
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