Subj : Headline Bloopers
To   : All
From : Daryl Stout
Date : Tue Oct 13 2020 00:08:07

Slips of the tongue:

    Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
    Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
    Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
    House passes gas tax onto senate
    Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
    Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
    Farmer bill dies in house
    Iraqi head seeks arms

Grammar botches:
    Eye drops off shelf
    Squad helps dog bite victim
    Dealers will hear car talk at noon
    Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
    Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
    Miners refuse to work after death
    Two Soviet ships collide--one dies
    Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter

Stating the obvious:
    If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while
    War dims hope for peace
    Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
    Cold wave linked to temperatures
    Child's death ruins couple's holiday
    Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
    Man is fatally slain
    Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
    Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation
 
 Advertisement: The most truthful part of a newspaper.

  The following are ads from a real-life newspaper which appeared four
days in a row - the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first
day's mistake.
  
  MONDAY: For sale: R.D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Phone
948-0707 after 7 P.M.. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him cheap.
 
  TUESDAY: Notice: We regret having erred in R.D. Jones' ad yesterday.
It should have read "One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 948-0707
and ask for Mrs. Kelly, who lives with him after 7 P.M."
  
  WEDNESDAY: Notice: R.D. Jones has informed us that he has received
several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the
classified ad.  The ad stands correct as follows: "For sale -- R.D.
Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 948-0707 after 7
P.M. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who loves with him."
  
  THURSDAY: Notice: I, R.D. Jones, have no sewing machine for sale. I
smashed it. Don't call 948-0707 as I have had the phone disconnected. I
have not been carrying on with Mrs. Kelly. Until yesterday she was my
housekeeper but she quit!
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
 * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

.