Subj : Metric Dozen
To   : All
From : George Pope
Date : Fri Sep 09 2022 08:22:28

Welcome to another edition of the Metric Dozen Punnies & Funnies, personally curated by 
yours truly, the Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM.

Please do comment as to which you loved & which you hated. . . 

Also, at any time, let me know if you're done with receiving these. Because you're a mate, I 
won't even charge you my usual $19.00 cancellation fee! ;) 

-= 1 =-
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me Life, between the 
legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night."

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man 
chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about 
you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in 
there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come and 
the other time he fell asleep."

-= 2 =-
Ever have a day like this?

"What the hell, Bob?! Why are you half naked on the golf course?"

"& shoving your undershirt into a hole in the ground?"

"Well, Jim, you told me to start  by sticking my tee into the ground."

-= 3 =-
When I was younger, porn cost money and water was free.

What happened?

-= 4 =-
I have learned from cows, hippos, and elephants that it is impossible to reduce weight by 
eating green grass, salads, and walking.

-= 5 =-
Honestly, I was so thirsty halfway through the night that I nearly choked on my husband's 
teeth.

-= 6 =-
Her: I wish I was my rich neighbour's daughter.

Genie: You still have three wishes.

Her: ...

Genie: ...

-= 7 =-
I've been on Facebook for 16 years. I can remember when it was all farmland.

-= 8 =-
Cut flowers is Botanical Castration

-= 9 =-
Q: Why did the bookseller keep "Twilight" in the children's section? A: Because he'd already exceeded smoke emission maximums for his fireplace

-= 10 =-
`# Thank you, ICE-Man, for this one; #~

Politicians talk to the country the way men talk to women. They say, "Trust me, go all the way 
with me, and everything will be all right." And what happens? Nine months later, you're in 
trouble.

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-6
 * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

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