Subj : Things To Ponder
To   : All
From : Daryl Stout
Date : Mon Aug 01 2022 08:33:56

From the August, 2022 issue of "The Radiogram", the newsletter of the PCARS
(Portage County Amateur Radio Club) in Ravenna, Ohio. Tom "Parky" Parkinson,
KB8UUZ, is the Editor.

* Whoever said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over
  and over again and expecting different results has obviously never had to
  reboot a computer.

* Autocorrect can go straight to he'll.

* Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account? They were
  Prime mates.

* Don't use "beef stew" as a computer password. It's not stroganoff.

* Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?
  A. "I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions."

* Why are iPhone chargers not called Apple Juice?!

* Q. How does a computer get drunk?
  A. It takes screenshots.

* I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. They told me
  I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

* We'll we'll we'll...if it isn't autocorrect.

* I tried to say, "I'm a functional adult," but my phone changed it to
  "fictional adult," and I feel like that's more accurate.

* I saw a driver texting and driving. It made me so mad I threw my beer
  at him.

* Thanks to autocorrect, 1 in 5 children will be getting a visit from
  Satan this Christmas.

* Autocorrect has become my worst enema.

* The guy who invented auto-correct for smart phones passed away today.
  Restaurant in peace.

* You're sending me something via fax? What is it, an important document
  from 1993?

* You know it is going to be a bad day when the letters in your alphabet
  soup spell D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R.

* A fire hydrant has H-2-O on the inside and K-9-P on the outside.

* Did you hear about the crook who stole a calendar? He got twelve months.

* Q. What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?
  A. I don't know and I don't care.

* Did you hear about the semi-colon that broke the law? He was given
  two consecutive sentences.

* I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time-consuming.

* So what if I don't know what "Armageddon" means?
  It's not the end of the world.

* I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from,
  then it dawned on me.

* Velcro - what a rip-off!

* Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.

* I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner as all it was doing
  was gathering dust.

* 250 lbs here on Earth is 94.5 lbs on Mercury. No, I'm not fat.
  I'm just not on the right planet.

* The best thing about good old days is that we were neither good nor old.

* If we shouldn't eat at night, why do they put a light in the fridge?

* Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.

* One of the shortest wills ever written: "Being of sound mind, I spent
  all the money."

* When my 85-year-old father was in the hospital, his doctor, trying to
  determine Dad's mental state, asked, "What gets you up in the morning?"
  My father shrugged. "Probably the same thing as everyone. I have to go
  to the bathroom."

* If the local coffee shop has awarded you "Employee of the Month" and
  you don't even work there, you may be drinking too much coffee.
--- SBBSecho 3.15-Win32
 * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

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