Subj : Re: Prayers Of Children To : George Pope From : Daryl Stout Date : Tue Jan 25 2022 13:06:00 George, GP> I saw that one recycled into a Jewish joke, but inelegantly,m so I GP> rewrote the key parts & sent it back to that person -- they hadn't GP> even noticed, but appreciated the subtleties once pointed out. . . Toward the end of the year, my late wife and I would pull a friends chain, telling them "we wren't going to have sex for the rest of the year" (it was like Dec. 29). We waited to observe them getting this horrid look on their faces...then when they realized what day it was, it was like "Oh, [expletive]!!" . GP> It's an artform, not a hackjob. . And, with puns, not everyone appreciates the humor. To me, the beauty of a pun is in the groan of the recipient. GP> This one's copy & paste, unfortunately, but it fulfils my standards of GP> funny -- YMMV, FWIW, IMHO, etc. Without acronyms, things would be much longer. In the meteorological discussions, there are a lot of abbreviations and acronyms they use. I have a weather glossary door online, with a bunch of that. GP> fat jokes. Feel free to use any of the following phrases in your GP> articles or headlines, or um, become a better writer: I'm in one of my nether moods, being doped up right now...so, I'm just cutting up...I don't mean to offend anyone, so my apologies in advance. GP> ! Fat Tuesday Add an R, and that's when you can go crazy on beans and legumes...right before Potty Gras. GP> ! Weighty Matter Never mind a pound of flesh. GP> ! Light-Weight Entertainment Midget movies?? GP> ! Thick as Thieves There are a lot of them in the RPG doors (L.O.R.D., Gangland Wars, etc.). GP> ! Chubby-Hubby Building up insulation for the winter. GP> ! The Weight Is Over ...what the scale can hold -- sounds like Garfield The Cat after eating too much pizza and lasagna. GP> ! Big Men and Women on Campus If they do a cannonball into the pool, that'll soak everyone nearby. GP> ! Fat of the Land Sounds like the blooper where the formerly obese woman would tell that her diet helped her lose all the fat...and added "she will bring samples". GP> ! Big, Fat Obnoxious [Anything] Size-ist. :P GP> ! Big, Fat Hit Those chest bumps hurt!! GP> ! Weighed Down No wonder I feel like there's an anvil out of my butt!! GP> ! Heavy/Meta Facebook became Meta, and rumor has it where Twitter will become Mucil. So, we'll be on Metamucil every day. GP> ! Well-Rounded Cast [sung to "Happy Birthday"]: May you get plastered, you poor bad boy... GP> ! Fatty Ass-heads If it was holes, they'd be arrested for 500 pounds of crack. :P GP> ! Must Eat TV On some of those cooking shows, I wish I could graze on what was being shown or prepared. My late wife and I would watch Emeril Lagasse LIVE on The Food Network (I don't think that show is on, anymore)...and one day, Paula Deen was on there doing a southern style breakfast. We're talking eggs, bacon, ham, sausage, pork chops, biscuits with butter, sausage gravy, hash browns, tomato slices, toast, jelly, pancakes, syrup, etc. [We will now pause 3 minutes for drooling ]. Well, she was using this tenderizer to make the pork chops to where they'd "melt in your mouth". In describing the tool, she said "I use this to beat my meat with!!" . That's a euphemism for masturbation, and the entire studio audience was howling with laughter. Emeril had this horrified look on his face, and said "Don't even go there!!". The black guy on the drums in the band, was about to spit his teeth out of his mouth!! . Some days, they'd be preparing something, and all of a sudden, my wife let out this pitiful wail, like was in pain. I asked her what was wrong, and she lamented "He just ruined it!!". GP> ! Hungry for Ratings That's the way it always has been. GP> ! Fat Chance That happened at my late wife's church years ago. It was an offshoot of "The Worldwide Church Of God", known as "The Community Church Of God". They didn't have a "Sunday School", per se...but they had a potluck every other Sunday after church. Well, with any organization, sacred or secular, at times, you have to conduct "a business meeting...and you know, to most folks, they avoid attending those like the plague. Well, as luck would have it, the meeting ran way overtime, and the church service was LATE starting. The guy who was leading the music that Sunday (who was best man at my wedding), said "Since we got started so late, I'm sure our preacher will be considerate, and cut his sermon short". Without missing a beat, the pastor said "Fat Chance!!". It brought the house down in raucous laughter, and the look on that guy's face was absolutely priceless!! GP> ! Battle of the Bulge I have 3 ailments: 1) Furniture Disease - my chest is into my drawers 2) Dunlop Disease - my belly done lopped over my belt 3) Dickeydo Disease - my belly hangs out more than my dickey do GP> ! Thin Premise Only in a House Of Mirrors. GP> ! Fat Sells Got to have a shed for your tool. GP> ! Big Competition Sounds like the government and corruption. GP> ! Chubby Reign Never mind a massive monarch. GP> ! Waist of Airtime A waist is a terrible thing to mind. GP> ! Devouring the Competition Sounds like the July Coney Island Hot Dog Battle. GP> ! Chewing the Scenery Your eyes are bigger than your stomach. GP> ! Broad Humor Only when it applies to blondes. GP> ! The Thickest Link It might not break as easy. GP> ! Livin' Large Eat to live...not live to eat. GP> ! Large and in Charge I hope the chair is strong enough. GP> ! Wide Margin For the fat fonts. GP> ! Fat of the Land There'll be a harvest of blubber this year. GP> ! Meaty I prefer meat when I eat...there is an expression that my late grandfather used, and my late Mom remembered it, but with both of them gone now, I have forgotten it. GP> ! Morbidly [Anything] I have a BMI calculator on my phone...it says I'm nearly 90 pounds overweight. Well, getting it off is easier said than done. GP> ! Gut-Busting Only when they're doing gastric bypass surgery. But, there's good and bad with that. GP> ! Phat For Phideaux, who has had too many treats. GP> Now the news is classified "realityTV" which puts it on equal standing GP> with Honey fleeping BooBoo & the KardASShians. That's fair, based on GP> how real the end product is these days -- I miss Walter (That's "Mr. GP> Cronkite" to you younguns) And, that's the way it is. GP> Speaking of the decline of CBS. . . I prefer the meteorological acronym...CBS stands for cumulonimbus's (several thunderstorms together, as it a line). Our tornado season will be here soon enough (Sigh!). Daryl .... If you think everything's OK, you've overlooked something. === MultiMail/Win v0.52 --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32 * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33) .