Subj : Re: Metric Dozen To : Daryl Stout From : George Pope Date : Fri Dec 31 2021 12:05:36 > The meme I liked was where this guy is confronted by "The Grim Reaper" > on the street. He tells the poor soul "that fancy expensive item you had > ordered was delivered to your home while your wife was at work, and she > signed for it. Do you want to go home and face the music, or just come > with me now??". Depending on the item, he may have just left with the old guy right then. . . >> Actually, with inflation, it;s more like $119! > Or as Jerry Reed's song "Lord, Mister Ford", noted... > "Well, I figured it up, and over a period of time, this $4000 car of > mine cost $14,000 and 99 cents". That seems cheap, compared to tyhe usuasl cost oof ongoing maintenance trying to fight the built in obsolescence. Buy a Honda -- a 10-year-old Honda sells for close to what a new one does, because they don't go down in real(vs imputed) value. Buy a new one for the warranties & sell it after 2 years & repeat. >> There's a name fron 40 years ago! I remember him -- whatever happened >> to him? > I don't know...but he was originally from Russia, and he emigrated to the > US. He had a show in Branson, at his own theatre...and it was all G-rated > entertainment. Yup, they've all, from the '80s, disappeared into history's annals. I do recall his accenmt most of all, & is wat of laughhing -- sdo mirthful! So much a better rep for a foreign immigrant than is Borat! >> I have a nice set of the Comedy Central Roasts -- they're my fave. A >> new genre out now: Roast Battles. >> There's the US, UK, & Canadian TV series. > I'm sure there are several on YouTube. It reminds me of a deal known > as "The Curse Exchange". True -- you wouldn't olike the full roasts -- the only rule is no physical contact -- nothing in spoken word is off limits. (but, of course, the goal is to be the funniest one, so that has built in limitations, as far as relying exclusively on vulgarities.) >> That's how I first saw & fell in love with Sarah Tiana (southern girl >> -- not all sugar & spice, but the most adorable little cheeks!) > Never heard of her. Not your style of hmour -- she isn't shy in the mojtgh department. But, IMO, she uses the words non-gratuitously (must be her suthern belle upbringing (a gorgeous GA girl) >> It's simple: in the olden daze, the nobility (corporate CEOs in today's >> world) taxed the heck out of people's hard work, to ensure a constant >> flow of their production into their own treasuries. Those who refused, >> were executed as examples to the rest. > I'm sorry I asked. :P You sure you did? It's not a requirement for me to reply with explanations! ;) >> Now they want you to buy whatever crap they've dreamed up for the same >> purpose, because now only the government can tax you (& it's slower >> getting your money that way, for the modern nobility) > Why does the saying "Don't lie, cheat, and steal!! The government hates > competition!!" come to mind?? Son: Dad I've finally decided what area I'm going into when i grow up! Dad: Whuich? Son: I've researched my options & Organised Crime seems my best option at providing for your grandchildren. Dad: Organised Crime, eh? Nice. Which kind, government or Mafia? > I am reminded from the deal on "The Fat Bible", where mankind basically > listened to Satan, and gorged himself with all the high fat and high > cholesterol foods. The last 3 lines went like this: > And, man went into cardiac arrest. > And, God created quadruple bypass surgery. > And, Satan created HMO's. We use PPOs almost exclusively, to ensure lowered hospital bills. The head of America's top profgiting HMO died & was being judged. Peter said, "Well, it seems you've done some good in donating to charity, & ensuring hospital beds are free when needed for emergencies, so you can enter Paradise. . .but only for 3 days, after which you can go straight to Hell!" >> "It's a photo of my wife," he answered, "I came in here to get drunk. >> Soon as she starts looking good, I'm done." > Wonder how long it took to get what he wanted. I wondcer why he married a woman he wasn't so committed to that she was the mosdt beautiful womani n the world to him at all times & ages? I took my time getting married (age 40) & I had already decided I would only marry the most beautiful woman in the world. & I did! > Rule 1: The boss is always right. > Rule 2: Whenever the boss is wrong, refer to Rule 1. I've finally figured out that EVERY Job Description is: 50%: shield the boss(es) from hassles 50%": "other duties as required" > I had Spanish in high school...but I don't know if I ever took it in > college. I can read it, but I can't speak it, as it were. I hads a mandatory half year of French in grade 8. It was enough, two years late, to establish a sort of Franglais pidgin good enough to flirt with a hot Louisiana girl, my age, during a long line-up(Space Mountain, I think) at Disneyland. > Non-conformist. My dad taught me there are two types of auithorities: 1) the true one; God, shared with parents, who grant some to cops, parliament, & school boards. 2) upstarts who claim aiuthority that isn't rightfully theirs. I try to ascertain the difference & conform appropriately. I know #2 is AKA "bullies" (of any age, position in life--schoolyard, workplace, internet, politics) > (rolling the R's) "Irish Irus in Dixie". I dinnae ken that one, laddie! Q: What is it called when two Irish couples go out on a date together? A: Dublin Q: What do you call Mary J BligeÆs overly accommodating Irish cousin? A: Mary OÆBlige My grandma is 80% Irish. People call her Iris. A lot of people like French dressing, but my favorite salad dressing is Irish: >>Balsa McVinegar Irish Chili: *in your best Irish accent why does Irish Chili have 239 beans? A: If you add one more, itÆll be Two-Farty! A short Irish guy tricked me into giving him money for his skin disease. I shouldÆve known it was a Leper-con. New job titles: Original & New Meaning: can a librarian be called a bookkeeper? or a referee be a game warden? or a dairyman be a cowboy? or a cabinetmaker be the president? --- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5 * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757) .