Subj : Re: Metric Dozen (2nd today) To : Daryl Stout From : George Pope Date : Fri Dec 10 2021 09:40:35 > You're on a roll...not sure if it's sweet...or if you're just bageling for > attention. I'm partial to chocolate-whipped cream rolls, myself. > GP> "Ex wife!" she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!" > GP> "I wasn't," he replied. > He is now!! :P Depending on how that conversation went, I'd think. > GP> "According to a recent survey, 12 percent of Americans say that it's > GP> fine to cheat a little on your taxes. While the other 88 percent know > GP> not to talk to a guy with a clipboard asking them if they cheat on > GP> their taxes." -Jimmy Fallon > He has a button that says I.R.S. In his pocket, of course! He's evil, not stupid. > GP> "Two passengers on a flight to Ibiza over the weekend reportedly had > GP> sex while in their seats. And nobody was more upset than the guy in the > GP> middle." -Seth Meyers > Talk about a mile high threesome. :P I'd've offered to switch seats to let rthem accommmodate each other better -- what do I care how they enjoy each other or when? But I dn't want anything extra in my drink, for sure, so being in the middle wouldn't work for me. > Or did they come up with that on the sperm of the moment, and > I guess the reply got ejaculated...from a rather teste call. Or did they > have the balls for it, say the whole thing was just nuts, and they felt > rather peckerish about it?? (Yes, I'm in one of my nether moods this > morning ). Ass if I hadn't noticed! > GP> "A rare fish normally found only in the Amazon was caught yesterday in > GP> a New Jersey pond. Researchers believe the fish got to New Jersey the > GP> same way as everyone else: by giving up." -Seth Meyers > He should have looked for a cow put out to pasture...an Old Jersey. Old Jersey is just "Jersey." & why is New Zealand still allowed to call itself "new"? > GP> "Google is reportedly working on an update to the mobile version of its > GP> web browser to make it easier for people to use one handed. So I guess > GP> they're finally admitting what most people are using the Internet for." > GP> -Seth Meyers > The ads are click bait, so that makes these folks master baiters. :P You got that right in one! > GP> "A college student in Pennsylvania is suing her school for the C+ she > GP> got in a class. She said, 'I'm suing whoever's responsible for this!' > GP> And her professor said, 'Don't you mean WHOMEVER?'" -Jimmy Fallon > D-Tention, because you're F-ing mad...and that's the ABC's of it. & B-lame G-ame, when it's time she Tees up her own responsibility. > GP> "A new poll found that 10 percent of people post vacation photos on > GP> social media to make others jealous, and 100 percent of people click on > GP> them to see co-workers in a bathing suit." -Seth Meyers > Life and one's friends can seem so boring at times. I can find better photos in Google. . . (but never on a work computer!) > The hurricane told the coconut tree to "hold on to your nuts, as this is > going to be one heck of a blow job". Q: Howdo you get a one-armed blonde out of a coconut tree? A: Wave > Hindsight may be 20/20, but I don't have eyes in my butt. However, I wish > I did at times...so I could see if the toilet seat was down in a darkened > bathroom...or if there was a chair there for when I went to sit down. I'd call my brother a smart-arse & he'd say: "better than being a dumb one." or "Yup, I can sit on ice cream & tell you if it's chocolate or vanilla" > GP> "At the Plaza Hotel, the lights went off right before a couple > GP> exchanged vows. Even worse, the bride had just said, 'God, if this is a > GP> mistake, please give me a sign.'" -Jimmy Fallon > Here's Your Sign, Lady. "Tire go flat?" "Nope, I was driving along & the other 3 just swolled right up!" "Heat'll do that!" > I tried to go through the checkout line that noted "10 items or less". > But, they wouldn't let me go through, because I had a dozen eggs. Only one bar code, though, so it's legitimately one item. Prank: fill your buggy/cart to the brim & piled as high as possible; go up to a person in line who has ONE item, & ask, "Do you mind if I go in front of you, please? I'm in a hurry." > GP> The priest replies, "Get out of there, you idiot. You're on my side!" > Mass Mistake. Opium for the masses (or is it "them asses"?) > ... Don't iron a 4 leaf clover; Never Press Your Luck. Unless you're playing poker with amateurs, then push, push, press on, & win! Your friend, <+]:{)} Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2) .