Subj : Re: you okay, mate? To : Daryl Stout From : George Pope Date : Thu Sep 02 2021 06:56:47 > That, and switching FIDONet hubs. My original one was shutting down, due > to a job change. Then, I forgot to change my default AKA, so Internet Rex > got constipated, and I had to give it an enema. :P I dinnae ken your words there, mate! > Plus, over the weekend, I was back in the hospital with atrial flutter > for the second time in a month...and the heart rate was back up to 155. > The cardiologist has changed my medication again, and put me on a heart > monitor for 2 weeks. If those don't work, then ablation surgery may have > to be considered. Ouch; not good! You're going to let them put a laser into your heart to burn tattoos into your inner heart?! > Sunday night into Monday morning, some idiot set off the fire alarm... > not once, but twice. And, one time during the overnight vital signs > check, their blood pressure deal, thermometer, and pulse oximeter, did > not work. Thankfully, I had brought mine along, so they didn't have to > go find another working set. They technically ought to be fired for not using a set they know the quality & provenance for. > Then, I nearly lost my head...literally. I had put my walker in the back > of the Uber vehicle, and went to also put my bag of stuff from the hospital > in there...and the door started closing on my head. I think your head would've been where it always is, albeit a bit achy from a goose knot atop it! > GP> Q: What's the medical term for a tandem bicycle? > GP> A: Conjoined Schwinns > I had those growing up...the Sting Ray, and even a 10 speed bike. I had a basic Schwinn one-speed; took me forever to learn to ride it (I was not a fan of falling, not a collector of road rash, by preference) Eventually my dad threatened to throw it in the trash if I wasn't riding it by the time he got back from his 2 days at work. I went from zero to riding no-hands in the early afternoon he was due back (got off work at 3pm & drove an hour or so home) > GP> After Orville and Wilbur’s first horrific and fatal plane-accident > GP> leaving their remains scattered on the tarmac, the chief medical > GP> examiner approaching what was left of them simply asked: > GP> “Are you all Wright?!” > That was from Wright And Wrong Field. They called Air Traffic Control & were told they had winged the wong number (the Chinese had bought out SC's ATC) > Some say that's carbonated prune juice. Dr. Pepper was the original, > with offshoots of Mister Pibb, Doctor K (Kroger), etc. Imitation is > the sincerest form of flattery. Could be that prunes are the essential flavour base. Most pops werre invenmted by druggists to help with one condition or other (7-Up was "Lithiated Soda - good for bipolar, Pepsi(pepsin) for stomach acid issues, Coke(cocaine) for headaches & Lethargy) Perhaps Dr. Pepper was "just what the doctor ordered" for constipation. You do know why constipated people are most likely to be apathetic, don't you? > GP> I got a fake medical ID made to get the COVID vaccine, but I was > GP> rejected It was worth a shot. > Seriously, there are folks selling these things for large amounts > of money. I had bought a lanyard and clear case for my card (it was > getting dog-eared in my wallet), but the lanyard broke. Thankfully, > I had an extra one here at the house to use instead. I thought covid shots were free? Or you mean the proof of vaccination? Ours will be digital, once rolled out in the next week or so (after 13-Sept, no going into stores or grou pevents without one proving you've had at least one shot; as of 26th, need both shots) > When the dachshund that my wife and I had when we got married had > to go to the vet, of course, the vet does the finger up the butt... > and the dog doesn't like it (they know what us males think about it). > My late wife asked the vet "Why must I always get the business end > with the teeth??". Have you seen that scene in Dr. Folittle, where the little dog(dachsund?) is talking to a young Dr. Dolittle, giving the commemtary on hhis vet visit, including the thermomenter up the butt ("oh no, it's swallowing it. . . it's GONE! GET IT OUT OF ME! GET IT OUT OF ME!") Where to pick my inspiration? hmmm. . . Q: What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb? A: OK, boomer. [a little old now] My New Years resolution for next year will be to finally get that laser eye surgery I’ve always wanted It’s my 2020 vision Q: What do laser guns and churches have in common? A: Pews (think girl gamers) Superman using his eye lasers for laser eye surgery... How eye-ronic would that be? I tried to pick up the navy's new mounted laser turret but it weighed more than a ton. I thought a laser would be light. If you do the calculations to enable a laser to work, are you doing crystal math? Your friend, <+]:{)} Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2) .