Subj : Re: How Do They Survive?? To : Daryl Stout From : George Pope Date : Fri Aug 06 2021 11:22:56 > GP> Probaby who I'm referring to then. . . Amazinmg what the human voice > GP> can do. The late Freddy Mercury could cover 4 entire octaves & a couple > GP> notes on each side to boot! > That's like those pianists whose hands can reach more than an octave. > Sergei Rachmaninoff had HUGE HANDS, but he was a virtuoso. My 2 favorites > of his are the Rhapsody On A Theme From Paganinni, and his Piano Concerto > #2. Some amazing talents out there in every category! > Could be both...code brown alert...OMG, that wasn't a fart!! :P A lot of hospitals use those color codes (code red is less alarming than saying, on the PA "We have a fire") Code Brown is the lower seniority nurses'; equivalent to "cleanup on aisle 5" *G* Too many patients have caught on to the code red, so one hospital I was in used "Paging Mister Red to the Cafeteria" meant a fire in the cafeteria. . I caught on & casually asked a nurse, "Is that fire going to affect when we get lunch?"; she made some calls & told me that it was a mound of paper deliberately lit on a back table - the kitchen was unaffected. Then she asked whbo told me the code red meaning, as it had just been begun & all nurses were sworn to secrecy. Eventually I convinced her of the truth -- I'm a smart feller(fart smeller) & figured it out all by my little brain-damaged self! I've always joked with medical staff, but never lied to them. My Kindergartener's favorite joke: "What's green and has four legs and would realy hurt you if it fell out of a tree?" --A pool table Q: Whats blue and smells like red paint? A: Blue paint. Guy goes into the doctor's office for an ear infection. The loud-first- sergeant-type nurse shuffles him to a cubicle and tells hime to take off ALL clothes and put on the stupid paper examination gown. Sitting there freezing, he starts grousing out loud about having to sit there naked for a stupid ear infection when he hears a voice from over the top of the wall "Hey--don't feel bad. I just came in here to fix the telephones." Reminds me, true funny story, of when I was first paralyzed,in the hospital & my girlfriend was over visiting. I invited her to come in, & close the curtain so we can make love. She argues, saying people in the ward will hear us & the guy next door replies, "Go ahead, I won't listen!"; I used that as evbidence of why it was okay; she trhen asked, "Well, what if a nurse pokes gher heads in, what do we do?"; I said the nurse woulfd first ask, "What do you think you two are DOING?" & while she's waiting for an answer, we'll have t ime to finish! Sadly, got nothing that day, or at all, while in the hospital *sniff* > GP> Of course chances are that if your parents never had children, you > GP> won't either! > Never have children, only grandchildren. > GP> Grandchildren(n): God's reward to you for not kiling your own children > GP> when they were teens. > And a second chance to get diaper duty right. > GP> Q: Why do grandchildren & grandmothers get along so well? > GP> A: They have a common enemy > I saw a meme where the little boy is sitting on a chair, facing the > corner, and the caption noted "I'm going to take this all the way to > Grandma". > GP> I've never really considered if those professionals helping me are good > GP> looking or not -- I'm most concerned with capable & competent! > That's true...but at least the ones I had weren't ugly. Remember...beauty > is skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone. > GP> Hair is just bodily excretions, feces, really! > Makes you wonder about the bearded ladies at the circus. :P > GP> My brother went to jail. He didn't take it well. Started insulting and > GP> attacking everyone and threw his own feces on the walls. > GP> I don't think we'll play Monopoly with him again. > Sounds like he was a crappy player. > GP> My doctor thanked me for submitting the minimum amount of feces for my > GP> stool sample > GP> I told him it was the least I could doo > I found a piano stool...I thought they were housebroken!! > Several years ago, when I was in the hospital with severe gastroenteritis > (nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea, at the same time), after being in the ER, > they admitted me. They did an upper GI, giving me the equivalent of a very > thick carbonated strawberry milk shake...and told me to drink it, but not > pause. I swigged that thing like a whino (sp?)...and they said "This man > knows how to drink!!" . Truthfully, it was the first thing they had let > me have in 2 days. I told them to have the stepstool next to the gurney, > in case I had to bid a hasty retreat to the toilet. Sure enough, not 15 > minutes later, I had to fight the cat for the sandbox. They said I > was lucky...and when I asked why, they said "Some people are down here > 5 hours to get emptied out"...I just cringed. > The next day, they had me on NPO (nothing by mouth), as it looked like > I might need an appendectomy, from the ultrasound. This good looking > female nurse walked in, but had the gall to ask for a stool sample. I > asked "Where do you think I'm going to get it?? From the bedpan in the > next room?? You haven't fed me in 3 days!!". She sighed and lamented > "Well, you can't manufacture it if you ain't got it". So, they gave me > some lime jello to get what they wanted. I lost 10 pounds the hard way > that week. > One time, the doctor told me "You have to watch what you eat". I then > replied "I do...from the plate to the mouth". He growled "You know what > I mean!!". I hate medical staff without a sense of humor. > GP> The substance you wash your hair with isn’t made from real feces, it’s > GP> fake. You could say it’s sham poo. > Boycott shampoo...use real poo...for the real brown hair look. :P > GP> A monkey was arrested today when he started throwing feces at zoo > GP> employees Three of the zoo employees were rushed to hospital with turd > GP> debris burns > They will literally do that when they get angry or feel threatened. > GP> A man had some feces stuck on him. > GP> They had to ampootate it. > He must've been out in the sun too long, after rolling around naked in > the cow pasture. > GP> Q: What do you get when you eat too much chocolate and peanut butter? > GP> A: Reese’s feces > Well, chocolate is brown, as well. But, the reason your stool color is > brown is because of the bile from your gall bladder. > GP> Q: What's brown and rhymes with Snoop > GP> A: Dr. Dre > GP> [not racist -- just playing with observational POV] > You lost a character or two there. > Daryl > ... Anyone know a chocolate reader for NESTLES.QWK?? > === MultiMail/Win v0.52 > --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32 > * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33) Your friend, <+]:{)} Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2) .