Subj : Re: Kids And Rednecks
To   : Daryl Stout
From : George Pope
Date : Fri Jul 16 2021 11:38:19

 > Kids Say The Darndest Things
 > MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and
 > kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked
 > his dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?'

Dad, unthinkingly replies with the truth, "He's just tryingt o get her pants
off."

Boy: "Ohhhh! So he's blowing into her, not whispering. . . I get it!"

 > STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. 'I love you so
 > much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.'

I sawe an interesting "Horror story on one page"

It had two pictures of the same house, one above, one below, with labels for
each room & areas in the yard.

Top one had labels for 
1. Living Room
2. Attic
3. Mom & Dad's Room
4. My room (the smallest)
5. Sister's Room (the biggest)
6. Sister (silhouette in the window)
7. Garden

Bottom had the same 1-3 but:
4. Mom's sewing room (the smallest)
5. My room (the biggest)
6. Me (shorter silhouette in window)
7. Sister



 > BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried
 > in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her
 > Mom explained it was a child-proof cap, and she'd have to open it for
 > her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know
 > it's me?'

 > SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please
 > don't give me this juice again,' she said, 'It makes my teeth cough.'

 > DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I
 > cost?'

 > CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried, when his Mom asked
 > what was troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with
 > this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?'

 > TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather
 > wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while, and then
 > asked, 'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?'

 > JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: 'The man
 > named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but
 > his wife looked back, and was turned to salt.' Concerned, James asked:
 > 'What happened to the flea?'

 > Overheard during a recent Sunday sermon....'Dear Lord,' the minister
 > began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his
 > upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust...' He would have continued,
 > but at that moment, a very obedient child who was listening, leaned over
 > to her mom, and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old
 > girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'

 > ***

 > Rednecks have the lowest stress rate, because they do not understand
 > the seriousness of most medical terminology. Here are some common
 > examples.

 > Artery - The study of paintings

 > Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria

 > Barium - What doctors do when patients die

 > Benign - What you be, after you be eight

 > Cesarean Section - A neighborhood in Rome

 > Cat Scan - Searching for Kitty

 > Cauterize - Made eye contact with her

 > Colic - A sheep dog

 > Coma - A punctuation mark

 > Dilate - To live long

 > Enema - Not a friend

 > Fester - Quicker than someone else

 > Fibula - A small lie

 > Impotent - Distinguished, well known

 > Labor Pain - Getting hurt at work

 > Medical Staff - A Doctor's cane

 > Morbid - A higher offer

 > Nitrates - Rates of Pay for Working at Night

 > Node - I knew it

 > Outpatient - A person who has fainted

 > Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis

 > Post Operative - A letter carrier

 > Recovery Room - Place to do upholstery

 > Rectum - Nearly killed him

 > Secretion - Hiding something

 > Seizure - Roman Emperor

 > Tablet - A small table

 > Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the airport

 > Tumor - One plus one more

 > Urine - Opposite of you're out
 > --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
 >  * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
 * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

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