Subj : FidoGazette Vol 14 no 17 Page: 3
To   : All
From : Janis Kracht
Date : Mon May 04 2020 17:22:38

    Thanks to Dave Drum, one of my users for this one :)

    Imagine if 10 years ago you were approached by a time traveler
    and he was like "Look, I don't have much time to explain, all I
    can tell you is that the year 2020 is going to be wild as hell!
    You know Donald Trump, the star of the apprentice?  Well he's
    the president of the United States and at the beginning of 2020
    he gets into a Twitter beef with Iran that almost starts world
    war.  Australia catches fire and a woman tries to save it by
    selling pictures of her tits.  Kobe Bryant dies in a helicopter
    crash.  Half the world is devastated, the other half just makes
    messed up memes.  A 42 year old Canadian Zamboni driver wins the
    game against the Toronto Maple Leafs...his own home team!  And
    just when the world starts recovering from the loss of Kobe some
    dude in China eats a fucking bat and starts a global pandemic
    that specifically kills old people and asthmatics.  The Prime
    Minister of Canada directs everyone to not speak moistly on
    others (more memes ensue) President Trump halts all funding to
    the WHO.  Everyone loses their minds.  40% of the population
    thinks it's the end of the world another 40% thinks it's all
    fake and 20% blames the whole thing on cell phone towers.  The
    one thing everyone seems to agree on is that the only way to
    survive is by hoarding toilet paper.  Grocery stores are
    ransacked and Charmin Ultra Soft essentially replaces all
    official currencies.  Eventually as hysteria grows, governments
    are forced to shut the entire planet down and lock everyone in
    their houses and.....  the only person that can keep the people
    from completely losing their minds and starting a huge riot is a
    homosexual gun toting Oklahoma man with two husbands, a meth
    addiction, and 223 pet tigers...  and that was all before
    spring."



    FIDOGAZETTE  Vol 14 No 17    Page  3         April 29th, 2020


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