Subj : Re: Various Things To : Brian Rogers From : Daryl Stout Date : Tue Jun 29 2021 17:47:00 Brian, DS> But, the kicker was "How could I forget??!! Especially when it comes DS> on Trash Day"!! (He and Fred had the same anniversary) . BR> I actually recall that episode quite well :) Probably because I don't BR> have any anniversaries to celebrate - and for darn good reason! I don't, anymore. :'( Did you notice that they did "Happy Anniversary" to the overture from William Tell by Rossini (aka "The Lone Ranger")?? BR> We pass NTS on a nightly basis even if they're net reports from NCs. My BR> LinFBB gets about 20 a week or so. We deliver them to the local VHF BR> nets, and for through we can also post on packet. It's so hard to sit at the computer for long periods of time...and some days, it takes awhile to go through the QWK Mail...let alone play what few doorgames I like to play...never mind running ham radio traffic nets. BR> My C5 is acting up due to having to move a heavy object. I could pop a BR> muscle relaxer but trying to use those sparingly! Mel Blanc was a BR> comedy genious! He was a regular on the Jack Benny show too... *very BR> funny man*! Was good however to hear you're living up to your motto - BR> Ham: have another meal Well, they thought I was dehydrated this morning. When they did blood draws out of my left hand and arm, it was "Real Thick" (what was that commercial on being 'thickerer'??) -- that was at my PCP. But, the next draw about an hour later out of the right arm at the urologist, was fine. Yet, I didn't feel thirsty...but I was hungry...from fasting for 24 hours. If I become type 2 diabetic, that'll be a major game changer for sure. On one episode with Mel Blanc and Jack Benny, he was doing that "electric organ" deal. The audience was roaring in laughter, and Jack Benny's lips were quivering, as he was fighting for all he was worth to not lose his compusure. Another great one was with "Si', Sy, and Sue"...and there was one with the "upset salesman" (Mel) who was practically crying his eyes out, as Jack Benny was wanting this gift. Needless to say, the whole audience was in stitches...you don't find humor like that anymore. I understand that Mel and Jack were very close friends...and that between deals, both of them would cut up like crazy. But, Mel would also visit scores of Children's Hospitals, and be there practically all day, to see the kids, and do the voices, and the little ones just loved it (and so did the hospital workers and the kids parents). BR> The things we could all do with our natural gifts to earn a dollar. With the Gospel Poetry stuff I do now, if it wins someone into the Kingdom Of Heaven, that's good enough for me. I used to do mini concerts years ago, but declining health has ruined that. When the one church tried to pay me, I said "Use that toward your ministry. If someone comes to know The Lord through the poetry, that's good enough for me. Besides, The Good Lord is just using me to write it down...He's the Author. So, I give Him the credit and Glory...I'm lucky to write my own name. Now, I'm having an A.A.A.D.D. relapse. I always told my wife that "if I forget to clean up after using the toilet, I'm in trouble". Grinning wryly, she said "So, you stay in trouble all the time, then??!!" She got me fat on salted crow and humble pie...but I have all the wonderful memories that no one can take away. She was studying for her Technician license at the time of her death...yet, she didn't want to get on the radio to talk. I told her (as I tell a lot of new hams who have mic fright (a very real threat to some folks)), that "with the digital modes, your computer does all the work for you...and you can go much further on digital than voice". BR> I like with the purdy ladies come into the store and say to me "your BR> the best!" I will respond with "if I had a nickel everytime I heard BR> that, I'd still be in the 'hole'" Some get it, most dont. Golfers go for the hole...as they're constantly engaged in "fore-play". BR> Wow! She'd probably like watching Hell's Kitchen. Sadly, I lost her to a heart attack at 48 over 14 years ago. But, she considered my culinary cuisine and tastes as "lame"...she liked her stuff hot and spicy. I better quit now, before I get in trouble. I felt like crap yesterday, so I need to make up for lost time. Remember, "dirty old hams (and Sysops) need love, too". BR> I know! Weather has been brutal! They blame it on Global BR> Warming/Climate Change - of course it's changing! The poles are in BR> process of reversing again... it's science! (ref: Thomas Dolby). We've always had climate change...it's called weather. As Walter (aka Jeff Dunham ) frequently notes "Bunch of dumb @$$e$". BR> packet bulletin group tribbs. Some guys count on it before work so they BR> know how to dress. Richard Lederer, who I met at the World Championship Pun Off in Austin, Texas, years ago...wrote a book called "Anguished English". One chapter was called "Disorder In The Court"...but you can find this on similar websites...and it was also the title of an episode of "The Three Stooges". These are from actual trials (my comments in parentheses): ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid. (My favorite -- will somebody turn his light on??!! ). ** ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! (A case of mistaken indemnity). ** ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. (At least he didn't say his birthday suit!!). ** ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. (Or as Walter (Jeff Dunham) says: 1) "Hey!! Wake Up!!". 2) "Get Off!!" 3) "I Can't See The Weather Channel!!") ** ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. (I guess he wants a nice DC to Daylight HF rig (hi hi)). ** ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. (It's all about the math). ** ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget... ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? (I guess one of the A's in A.A.A.D.D. stands for "Attorney" ). ** ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? (I guess to him, the bar exam was seeing how much tequila you can drink, before you fall to the floor) ** ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ. () ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? (Sex is before seven, tennis before eleven). ** ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. (Is that your final answer??!!) :P ** ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral. (He did what he was told -- at least it wasn't Rectal). ** ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. (). ** ATTORNEY: Doctor, are all your autopsies on dead people?? WITNESS: Yes. The live ones put up too much of a fight. (I'll say!!). ** BR> When I completely ripped my right bicept ligament off my forearm the 80 BR> yo specialist said to me "just don't do a thing, it's not as if at BR> your age you'll be flexing at the beach." Man did I want to give him a BR> nice "speak for yourself FU OG".. but I bit my lip. No , Sherlock!! BR> The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground. An earthquake in Washington, DC is OBVIOUSLY the government's fault. Daryl .... How long do we have to practice sex before it's safe?? --- MultiMail/Win v0.52 þ Synchronet þ The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas .