Subj : Robot Holocaust (1987)
To   : Arelor
From : Moondog
Date : Wed Mar 01 2023 10:11:00

  Re: Robot Holocaust (1987)
  By: Arelor to All on Tue Feb 28 2023 06:03 pm

 > Hello, moviegoers! I know you missed my awesome movie reviews, so here I am 
 > another film! This review should not be considered a regular one, however, b
 > want to think it is a warning to prevent uncautious people from making the s
 > mistake I made and watching this garbage.
 > 
 > I believe myself unable to command the English language with proficency enou
 > convey just how awful this film is, but for the good of humanity I will try 
 > 
 > Robot Holocaust's sorry excuse of a plot takes place after the Robots rebel 
 > humanity, enslave us and take control of the planet. In order to operate the
 > production facilities, robots keep human slaves working day and night, feedi
 > power plants. It order to ensure the humans can't rebel, the robots control 
 > slaves breath. They have the power to supply or deny fresh air to the worker
 > thoughts of rebellion are impossible, until some underground scientist and h
 > daughter create some technoawesome implants that allow humans to survive wit
 > air. When the robots learn this, they capture the scientist and hold him for
 > interrogation. It is up to a bunch of human misfits to sneak into the fortre
 > Dark Master, the supreme AI, and save him or die trying.
 > 
 > It looks like a good enough plot for a B-Movie, doesn't it? That is just wha
 > thought myself. Let s see what went wrong.
 > 
 > For starters, the screenplay development is so badly done you'd think the fi
 > were all from Italy. They can't convey the core plot points via screenplay, 
 > resort to exposition infodumps. I am not against infodumps as a matter of pr
 > for example, Star Wars would drop an infodump at the begining of each movie 
 > story going - but the issue here is it is obvious they need to dump the info
 > the unsuspecting viewer every three minutes because they can't figure a way 
 > us core information on the go.
 > 
 > This translates in many scenes in which we get voiceovers explaining things 
 > have been self-explanatory with proper planning. For example, if your Sci-fi
 > mutants and you want to elaborate on the nature of the mutants, you have two
 > for conveying the idea. The first one is to casually introduce the subject i
 > scene before mutants are encountered, posssibly via some dialog ("I am scare
 > place. My uncle told me there are mutants about. They were all radiated by T
 > and turned into cannibalistic monsters!") The second one is to just throw th
 > at the heroes as soon as they enter the forest and have a narrator tell the 
 > "There were mutants in the forest".
 > 
 > I hesitate to classify the acting as atrocious, because I fail to see any ac
 > this movie. I have not done any research, but I feel tempted to bet many of 
 > and actresses had never participated in a film in which they were all dresse
 > boinking each other before.
 > 
 > 
 > Robot Holocaust tries to capture the athmosphere of Sword and Sorcery movies
 > cyberpunk twist. Robots and mutants are torn asunder by barbarians wielding 
 > swords. It could have worked if the scenery and the customes didn't look pur
 > some post-carnival sale in which retailers were trying to get rid of all the
 > that hadn't been sold because they were so fucking bad. The sword fighting w
 > atrociously filmed, and the mutant monstruosities were so cheaply made I dou
 > spent more than ten bucks on the whole thing.
 > 
 > All in all, the only Holocaust in this movie is the one you will get if you 
 > this over mainstream media and have people watch it. I guarantee most of the
 > population will commit suicide two minutes into the film, not because of the
 > watching the movie itself but because of the pain of knowing the Universe is
 > dark place that the laws of physics allow movies like this to be a possibili
 > 
 > Don't watch. You have been warned.
 > 
 > 
 > --
 > gopher://gopher.richardfalken.com/1/richardfalken
 > 

This sounds like a movie you would like to turn off your brain and enjoy.

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