Board:   [fsxNet] fsx General
Subject: Re: New job worries
From:    poindexter FORTRAN(21:4/122)
Date:    Thu Aug 27, 2026 21:18

-=> Nightfox wrote to All <=-

 Ni> After being laid off in September 2025, I recently got a job offer and
 Ni> started just after the beginning of July (2026). It's a software
 Ni> engineer job where I'll be helping to investigate issues reported by
 Ni> customers (and one of their customers in particular, who has sites in
 Ni> my area).

 I said it before - congratulations on the new gig!


 Ni> Starting a new job usually includes hassles of ramping up & learning
 Ni> while new. Usually I feel fairly comfortable doing that, though I feel
 Ni> like this time it's a bit different. Right away (a week after I
 Ni> started), they had me travel for training for 4 weeks. And this job is
 Ni> unique in that my manager is in a time zone 15 hours ahead of me (which
 Ni> is where I traveled to), so communication can be difficult sometimes.
 Ni> My manager has set up a daily meeting with me at 8:30AM my time; at the
 Ni> end of my day, I'll send him an update, and sometimes he wants to talk
 Ni> to me to sync up on it, which ends up being about 5:30PM my time.

 Ni> I'm still learning, and I feel like some things about the tasks my
 Ni> manager gives me can still be a little unclear.  But I can ask him
 Ni> questions. Also, we use Copilot AI, and I've asked Copilot if it can
 Ni> explain some things I'm unclear on.


Asynchronous work (especially with a time difference) can be
challenging, but making sure you have all your questions lined up in one
email/chat is key. No iteration here...

Committing to overlapping time for direct comms is a good sign.

I had a boss 3 hours ahead, but who insisted on working 7:30a-4:30p, which
made it 4:30a-1:30p for me. He was more of a "let's ramble on the phone"
guy which made it difficult.

 Ni> With past jobs, new tasks I'm given usually felt a little more clear. I
 Ni> feel nervous when given tasks that are unclear, and I worry a bit..  In
 Ni> 2010, I had started a job where things were very unclear and I wasn't
 Ni> getting good help from coworkers; I struggled there for 6 months and
 Ni> ended up being let go. That was overall a bad situation..  This new job
 Ni> somewhat reminded me of that, although I think things are better with
 Ni> this job, as my manager has been fairly helpful (when our time overlaps
 Ni> when we have our meetings), and the people here seem to be generally
 Ni> friendly.

There's a lot to be said for working through those past work demons,
either with someone or just journalling, so you can recognize those past
behavioral cycles. You're not there anymore, this is a new situation.
I was laid off in 2018 and just now recognized some of those old
emotional patterns cropping up. Recognizing them, accepting them and
allowing myself to move on helps deal with the present situation.

 Ni> Aside from my job, my wife and I plan to move to be a little closer to
 Ni> where she works as the lease on our current apartment is close to the
 Ni> end/renewal point. I don't like moving and having to pack & everything.
 Ni> It will be better for my wife's commute though.

Packing is a pain. My wife is a packrat, I'm becoming more minimalist.
I noted that we had boxes that had moved 3 times without the contents
leaving the box. Had I had my way, I would have donated them, contents
unseen.

Maybe it's time to get rid of old baggage, emotional and physical?   :)

 Ni> I'm also still going through a financial issue related to my ex wife's
 Ni> actions which have impacted me, to the extent where I've been working
 Ni> with a law firm on that. They've recently made a partial summary
 Ni> judgment in my favor, but things are still ongoing on that.

 Ni> Among my new job, moving, and issue with my ex wife, I feel like this
 Ni> is a bit of a stressful time.

Do you have kids with the ex? I don't think you've ever mentioned it.
Divorces are difficult enough without 'em!

My son is now 23, my ex-wife lives in the same town as us, and all of
the drama is behind us. It gets better, gradually.





.... Emphasize the flaws
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